All men should be aware of this

Not this men. All men.
shes asking for all men to understand why women might be frightened of them in remote places and to be predictable, understanding and non threatening as a response.
not that controversial imho

Get a fucking grip OP.

Man stops on path and opens backpack? Really?

Let's also be clear - you turned around and started following him!!

You changed direction and started walking behind him too close. He heard footsteps of someone following him closely behind (a few feet you say which is creepy behaviour by you). He didn’t know it was a woman at that point him which made him want to turn around and see who it was.
He stopped to let you pass because he didn’t want someone stalking him a few feet behind, woman or otherwise.

From the way you have described it - it is you who needs to learn some waking in the woods etiquette.

How was he to know you were a woman (not a mugger) until he turned and looked?

That just sounds crazy to be honest. Asking a man who's out for a quiet stroll in the woods to centre the feelings of a person he can't see who's walking behind him. What about allowing him to have his own stress- busting walk in peace?

This whole thread sounds a bit paranoid. Vanishingly few women are attacked by strangers on a well used country path. The overwhelming danger to women is from their partners and their exes, 2 killed a week by them.

I cannot believe the misogynist responses you're getting here OP. Describing the fear of male violence as "frothing". (There's been a massive uptick in really regressive, divisive misogynist posting on MN, especially at night. Probably a wank game for some. Maybe a political thing for others).

Or the frankly racist implication that being wary of the sex which commits well over 90% of all violent and sex crimes is like having a bias against black people. What the actual fuck?

Many women (1 in 4?) are wary of men because they've already experienced male sexual violence. Trauma reactions happen outside of conscious awareness. And regardless of life history, it is hardwired into women to check their surroundings as they go about the world. This has been scientifically demonstrated.

The vast majority of these rapes, sexual assaults and harassments aren't reported, even less secure convictions. It's hardly surprising that women don't trust the police and don't want to go through a re traumatising court experience.

So yes I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask men to consider their impact on women as they move around the world. How is it any different to other ways in which we treat the people we live amongst with tolerance and respect?

I was on this thread about to comment, the page refreshed automatically and I somehow ended up on a different thread so posted this there by accident- weird! Anyway here it is…

I’m a bit confused. You passed him going in the opposite direction and he made you feel a bit weird so you turned around and started following him? He then stopped to get something out of his bag and you think this means what exactly? That he was carrying some sort of weapon ready to attack women who had decided to follow him? He was probably getting a snack out or his phone or AirPods or something…

In the kindest way, maybe you’re struggling with anxiety.

He also likely turned back because HIS spidey senses were tingling and he realised someone was following him. Men have instincts too.

Tbf I think most people are fine with the principle of men should be considerate of women in public spaces and also that if you feel like something is wrong then get yourself out of the situation because even though it may be unlikely that something would happen it's better safe than sorry.

The issue is the example the OP has presented and the premise that this man should have acted in some way differently and all men should know how to act in that scenario when to most of us I don't know what he could have done that would have been the correct course of action. This is exemplified by the amount of posters who have stated that he should not be walking behind her which he wasn't and that he should have kept his distance, which he didn't have the opportunity to do because he didn't even know the OP was walking the same direction and gaining on him from behind.

Im not a therapist lol
but talking about men in general, not this man in particular. Is it that big of a deal for men to accept that some of their class have traumatised women and there are consequences to that behaviour? That women might be uneasy in remote places with a man they don’t know and to think ah, I like other human beings and want to cooperate with them. I won’t scare this woman.

in this case I have discussed his suspected motives at length with someone else and said he wasn’t being unreasonable either, that they both had rational and reasonable responses in the situation.

Exactly my thoughts and attitude too. I’ve never been afraid to walk in woods or anywhere on my own. We are on this planet for a short time, enjoy it!

I mean since he's a man and not men, maybe he'd been centering other people's feelings all day? I guess we'll never know.

As an aside, maybe I'm just really old now but this LA therapy speak is awful.

My autistic 20 year old goes for walks randomly. The other day it was 10.30pm so I reminded him if he sees a lone woman, steer clear cos he might freak her out (he's 6ft 4 and 20 stone but wouldn't hurt a fly, but she wouldn't know that)

Maybe he was wary that you were possibly following HIM so stopping on the pretence of allowing you to pass? Just because he had long hair doesn’t make him a sexual deviant or attacker. If you were that scared why were you following two feet behind him?

I don't think he did anything wrong. I don't like people, male or female, walking near me and would either stop or speed up. And if I wanted to open my bag I would.

You’re never going to convince everyone. What you did seems pretty rational to me.
and I don’t think you’re asking for much that men be mindful and centre someone else’s feelings for a change.

Are you a nervous type, young in your 20s?

I'm a 59 year old woman and have never lived my life in fear and I damn well am not going to start now!

If you read the above paragraph that you wrote, this is totally based on your perception of the situation.

Mine would have been totally different. I may have gone up to him and started a conversation. I know I would have smiled and said 'Good Afternoon' just out of general politeness. He may have thought, 'OMG! I've now got this chatty old bag ruining my walk in the woods' or he may have welcomed the opportunity to talk to someone and we may have had an interesting conversation. Either way the last thing I would have thought is that this man is going to harm or kill me because statistically speaking I probably have greater odds at being killed by a car on the way to the shops, than by a stranger in the woods. Yes, it does happen but it is probably one in a million chance.

A life full of fear is such a wasted one. I grew up in the 70s and my generation of women were taught that we were just as good as men and to get on with it.

You were too close unless you are walking faster than him and overtaking him. If you walked behind me at that distance at my pace, then I would have looked over my shoulder and stopped until you had gone past me. I hate people dogging my footsteps.

Nope even with the diagram I am not sure what he is supposed to have done wrong.

with where he stopped my biggest guess would be he was checking directions so he knew which way to go!

She turned and followed him!

You may want to live in fear watching your back every 5 minutes but I frankly don’t want to

I've lived my life on the principle that I will not be constrained by patriarchal terror tactics (I won't go into that definition on this thread). I've travelled half the world by myself, walked everywhere at night by myself, and had some incredible adventures.

All the same I did turn down some opportunities a man would've been able to consider (notably, going into the jungle for an ayahuasca ceremony with three guys I'd only just met), and am still pissed off that the risk, as a woman, was too high on those occasions.

I should also point out that I've been sexually assaulted and raped more than the average English woman, have had to jump out of moving cars, been robbed and beaten up, and have talked down many would-be rapists including one who had a knife at my throat.

My choice and I don't regret it. But you won't catch me pretending it's all warm and fluffy out there. I'm not that fucking stupid.

I can't abide people walking "several feet behind me". I will always stop and let that person pass or speed up to increase the distance of I'm physical capable that day.

I can't see what this man did wrong, you were walking far too close to him. It's an open space not an escalator on the underground.

How could he keep more distance when she was walking behind him (after she had turned to follow him)?

Most men aren’t going to attack you. How would this man know he’d better not stop walking at any point whilst a woman is around? Ffs you’re being ridiculous! You can’t live your life like that. He isn’t the problem here.

"I was several feet behind, he wouldn’t have heard me."

But she closed the distance on him and quietly got closer to him to the point of being within a few feet of him.

That's not keeping someone in your line of sight out of precaution.

She's purposely walking faster than him, quietly to the point he's unaware of her until she's within a very short distance, if he upon seeing her sped up his pace to keep ahead of her and not let a lone woman who was walking faster than him at this point pass him as she would appear to want that's way weirder.

I explain this stuff to my husband too. Don’t walk too closely behind someone, cross the road if you want to overtake etc. It’s little things that can potentially make a woman/girl feel safer.

He may well have been stopping to let her pass but that does mean that she’s then in front of him and he could directly follow her. That would enter my head and I’m not a fearful or anxious person but I am more cautious around strange men in more remote places. In a crowded high street I wouldn’t worry in the same way.

Yes, stranger attacks are more unusual and yes you’re more likely to be attacked and killed by your intimate partner but they do still happen.

I also agree about trusting your instincts.