All men should be aware of this

Just as most men aren't dangerous, most women aren't this anxious around men (though we do all take our own level of precautions).

Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything a man could do in this situation that some woman wouldn't find a problem with.

I really think the only way some women would be happy is to live in completely separate worlds.

100% agree, men are not threatening in general. If I'm honest I'm more comfortable around men that a lot of women.

Men are threatening when they pass a woman heading in the opposite direction who then turns and walks a few feet behind them and should adjust their behaviour ?

If I passed a man heading in the opposite direction, who I got bad vibes about, I guarantee you I would not have turned around and followed him, certainly not a "few feet". I would carry on walking my way or if I needed to go back I would stop at a distance and observe said man until he was well away, if possible, or wait for 5-10 minutes, and then head back, keeping a wary eye out.

I'm all for calling out men and violence, but let's make sure we are actually calling out something real, not something which was made far, far "scarier" by the OP actions.

The likely scenario here is that the man barely noticed OP when she passed him the first time because he was thinking about something completely different. He walked on, and decided he needed something from his backpack - it could have been a map, a snack, his phone, it could even be that he felt something like asthma coming on and needed an inhaler urgently. So he stopped to get it out, then carried on his way again, having barely noticed OP walking past him again.

It's only OP who's made up some scenario where he was somehow at fault for the crime of having long hair, being in her vicinity, and carrying on with his walk without acknowledging her existence. We don't need to encourage other people to feel afraid in this totally harmless set of circumstances.

No that is the responsibility of the woman herself. I don’t need a man to do that and I certainly am not going to be criminalising the vast vast majority of men who are innocent.

I'm obviously not talking about whether I should turn 'left or right outside of the stationI' etc etc.
I'm going by my experiences in my life and it has served me well.

I find it absolutely hilarious that the same hoardes who absolutely lose their minds about trans people in women’s spaces etc (on the basis that these people are biologically men, and as we know, men pose an inherent threat to women…), are telling the OP she’s being ridiculous! Try turning all of the arguments on this thread (‘he was just going about his day,’ ‘am I missing anything, he didn’t actually do anything,’ ‘by and large, people are just trying to get on with their lives’) (etc, etc, etc!) and applying them to your argument about trans women. You can’t argue it both ways!

FWIW in relation to the OP original question- yes me should be aware that if they are in an isolated setting with a lone female present, they should take steps to try and increase her sense of safety.

Sorry but I massively disagree. All men are not threatening. Men who do not automatically realise this (non) fact are not pricks. I am neither malicious nor an idiot. I'm middle aged, Gen X, well educated with a critical thinking ability and robust amount of common bloody sense.

No it is not fairly commonly known by men.
I asked the three men in my life and it wouldn't even enter their minds to cross the road. They would'nt get up close behind a woman but they certainly wouldn't cross the road.

Think about this from his perspective. A woman passes him, then that woman suddenly changes direction and follows him picking up speed. He was going to look round, it's a natural reaction if you think someone is following you, this applies to men as well as woman. It made him uncomfortable which is why he stopped so you could pass. You made HIM feel uncomfortable, why is that ok? Men feel fear to

I've been in that situation and used the 'have to fiddle with something to let them past' technique. Usually stop and look at phone or take a drink of water. If anybody has any other ideas I'll be keen to hear them.

What does that look like in this instance though? I wouldn't want to put someone in fear or make them unduly anxious due to a lack of self awareness or ignorance. I walk in the rural area with my dog regularly and try to be conscientious about my presence making lone women feel uncomfortable in those isolated scenarios if we cross paths. Everything that the OP did would make me think the man's behavior was spot on.

She's walking up behind him faster than him, let her pass.

Busy yourself with a task so you don't have to engage or make her feel like she has to engage and it gives an excuse not to be walking side by side or close by.

Well whereas I do sympathise with all women (myself included) that they need to be this wary of men in general it's kindof hard to sympathise with somebody who apparently felt so threatened by a man that she decided to follow him (?!?!) and then frames his behaviour as unusual because he needed something from his bag....

But she's wanting him to do something other than what he did to pander to her 'instincts'. So she wants him to sprint off, or turn away, or put his hands up or magically vanish or not get whatever it was from.his bag. Why should he? I think pp are right that he was letting her go past as she had deliberately moved closer to him. No-one is disagreeing about the general point that in some situations, dark, late night train or bus maybe, a man could take some steps to alleviate possible worry, but not in every situation always when there is no obvious, clear option.

As a man I am absolutely none the wiser from this thread and posters supporting the OP as to what I am expected to do in the situation the man found himself in to alleviate the fear my presence could cause.

if I'm walking in the woods and a woman approaches me from behind, walking faster than me and I only become aware of her when she is a few feet from me.

I should speed up so she can't pass me even though all available evidence would say she is trying to pass me by?
If she does overtake me I should make sure that I get back ahead of her which would require walking very fast begins her?

Dark road at night, our running in the woods and approaching a woman from behind, under pass at night, all those are clear enough. middle of the day and woman choosing to walk quickly close behind me ? Not a clue what people who think he should have acted differently want other than not be there or has been suggested don't walk behind her (he wasn't) and maintain distance to make her feel safe (she unilaterally chose to close the distance which he was completely unaware of until she was within a few feet of him).

OP having her spidey sense and acting on it, no problem whatever makes her feel safe. Saying that the unread was somehow due to the man's lack of awareness or consideration to how women might fear men, baffled given all the decisions she made

Men should be aware but I'm not sure there's anything he could do or say.

Maybe he could have said: "heeeyy queen!!!"

All men know they are threatening to women on their own or in a remote place etc. They should adjust their behaviour to make a woman less anxious not more. The ones who do the opposite get off on it. They're pricks.

Always trust your instinct around men.
It's millions of years of internalized knowledge.

Anyone telling you different is an idiot or malicious.

I think most of it has been sympathetic while questioning what the alternative is. Not everything where there is disagreement is a pile on

Outdoors, in an empty space where there are just two people to be seen, and one is walking "a few feet" behind the other, I would describe them as "walking together".

If I was the person walking in front, and the other person had passed me going the opposite way and moments later I had glanced behind to find that they were "a few feet" behind me, and walking the same direction as me, I would describe them as "following me". I would definitely be alarmed, and I would want to find a way of putting distance between us... probably by stopping to rummage in my bag and letting them pass me.

There is also no way thay I would turn and walk the same way as another walker just after passing them. Even if I had decided I'll turn around and walk back once I reach that tree, or whatever. I would wait for them to be oit of sight, because otherwise they might see me and think I'm following them. OP is the one behaving oddly here!

You don't think I know what I think? I think that I don't think I could have been any clearer. But if you don't understand what I've written and want to, please ask me the questions you don't feel I've answered.

I honestly worry about how my gorgeous, kind, sensitive, happy son is supposed to live when he grows up.
How do i explain there will be a huge portion of women who hate him because he was born male, how these women will try and get away from him in the street when he's taking a walk, how he's somehow instantly evil because he has a penis.
I'm glad I really don't come across this discrimination in real life, everyone I know, male and female live together, have plesent chit chats in the street, work together, socialise together and I really don't see any of this fear and hatred generally.
I was just saying to my husband yesterday I wonder if they are still bringing in the teaching in school for boys to be respectful and meanwhile my 11 year old came in to tell us about the 3rd fight of the week, all girls, all fist fighting, swearing, bullying but for some reason my son, who would run away crying his eyes out at the thought of trouble is going to be taught to respect these girls, it's fucking insane.

It's not just in situations like that the advice is given out. It is on everything, oh husband may be talking to another woman, trust your gut and break up, MIL doesn't seem to like me, trust your gut and go NC.

Instincts are there to give a clue sure but woman are capable of critical thinking and not jsut slavishy going with the first thought in our head.

I’ve lost track of what we’re talking about.
im continually explaining the same thing… what do you expect me to do? I don’t think I want to keep talking to you because I don’t think you know what you think yet

I didn't have a go at you for quoting me, i had a go at you for quoting me in order to repeat exactly the same things you had said before and which I had never disagreed with.