All men should be aware of this

Op have you read The Gift of Fear ? Sometimes people take in information too quickly to process, but nevertheless notice very small things that make you feel uneasy. I once had this exact sort of feeling about a man, it was a sunny day, broad daylight, I was walking along a road in a city and there was a quiet section with few cars. The man was on a bike. I was about 18. There was nothing I could put my finger on, he just made me feel very anxious and he then dismounted and flashed at me. I have been flashed at four times, and each time I had this feeling about the man, before it happened. I think it’s something about their energy, the anticipation.
Listen to gut feelings, is the message of the book.

You are right, people are mostly going about their lives.
Until they're not, as my husband says.
Being alert doesn't necessarily mean high anxiety, there might be a bad experience in the past etc.

No, she clearly said that this specific man should have understood that his behaviour was intimidating. Even though there was no aspect of his behaviour that he should have reasonably altered.

If he had been walking behind her and keeping pace; or if he had walked too close to her; or if he had passed her, then turned to follow her, then yes, absolutely he should have understood how that behaviour would be intimidating, and not done it. Stopping to get something out of his rucksack though? The onus isn't on him to do anything differently.

Her own words

"any decent man should know that this sort of behaviour is intimidating for a woman, who’s alone, especially with nobody else around."

But do you see that you’re describing turning and following him, walking closely behind him but he couldn’t have heard you. But you expect him to be hyper aware of your feelings when you seem totally unaware of his. I would guess he stopped and looked in his backpack as a way of giving you space. I can’t see that he did anything wrong at all.

Always trust your gut. You did the right thing. Have you read the Gift of Fear? It goes deeper into how trusting your gut can keep you safe.

And yes, both DP and I talk to DS about being mindful of how he/men could appear intimidating to girls and women, and what he himself, whether on his own or with his friends, should do to minimise that.

Im not sure she did that… she expressed frutrstion at men not understanding why they can be so intimidating to women in certain situations and asked if it was reasonable.

but please correct me if im wrong

Her overall point didn't stand though. She wasnt at risk. She changed direction, she followed the man at speed. She made the man feel uncomfortable forcing him to glance back then stop so she could pass. She caused the whole situation.

But you'd agree the OP was wrong for criticizing his specific behavior and labeling him as not being a decent man on the basis of this interaction?

This week I've watched another few installments of the trumpstein files and the 'manosphere' documentary. All those men getting away with abuse and deviancy ....the media dont need to hype up too much its happening in reality.

The specifics of this particular incident are irrelevant. Maybe the OP didn't describe it very well. Maybe she did, fear isn't always rational in the moment. Her overall point stands though.

Yes I know it’s what the people criticising her have said

Not what the OP said

Some people think that women being nervous about being alone with men they don’t know in remote environments is harmful to men and their rights 🙄

Of course? It doesn't change the fact that he did nothing wrong and shouldn't have behaved differently. (If anything, stopping to let a woman walking at a faster pace pass you is the better option.)

@DeftWasp

To be fair, not everyone wants or sees the need to speak to strangers who they're walking by.

I rarely acknowledge strangers if I'm walking past them. I don't know them.

Seems to be quite common to say hello to perfect strangers in some parts of the USA, which I used to be find quite odd when I was a kid - but I understand that that's the norm in some places.

I am confused to understand what the issue is here and what men need to be aware of…

Not been born is all I can think of

we discussed that this man did nothing wrong but op wasn’t wrong in feeling vulnerable and that the problem was the male violence against women in general, not any specific person in the situation.

we discussed that this man did nothing wrong but op wasn’t wrong in feeling vulnerable and that the problem was the male violence against women in general, not any specific person in the situation.

So because the man stopped to look in his bag whilst being followed he’s not descent- okaaaay🤔

This. You turned and followed him.

I agree at night in shady areas men need to be aware of the impact of their presence, but he was just walking, he passed you, didn't interact, you then turned and followed him, he then probably heard you and either stopped so you could pass, or because he felt awkward or uncomfortable that you had turned and followed him or maybe he just wanted something out of his bag. It's your behaviour that's odd in this scenario.

But what should he have done at the time? What could he have done better?

I think many on here despise their husbands and sons. The hate for men is so strong that they must be hypocrites to have such a reaction to men but go home and be decent to their family.

Be a decent man in the first place so the amount of sexual and physical violence goes down and women have less reason to be frightened in the first place?
be empathetic to the fact that their mere presence is enough to make some women feel uncomfortable in situations like this
You’re not powerless