All men should be aware of this

I made the joke about men not going out after dark - let them do it for once.
and suddenly I’ve asked for curfews for men. Nobody asked for anything of the sort

Sorry, I don't understand your reply...

Thank you that’s very sweet. In Brazil no one goes out alone after dark haha

Yes, that would have made me feel a little uneasy, OP. Unfortunately, even if all men were aware, there'd still be many that wouldn't be considerate.

This is what I mean… as a feminist you make one joke to illustrate your point and suddenly you’re asking for curfews for men. Wtaf? But your ok with the police telling your women to stay in groups? Get a grip.

It's not "feigned" pity. It's genuine. I genuinely hope you get out of wherever you are and somewhere safer.
Edited to say rich must just mean being in the UK itself, as it certainly doesn't apply to me in any way!

Your picking apart the testimony of a traumatised woman on a board for women… as a man. Please go away now. You’re not adding anything useful to this situation

Huh. Haven't read the hands-in-air suggestion 😮.

But then, so much here is being exaggerated and taken out of context - and I'm not going back to find it - so I'll say that, for all I know, maybe it made sense in whatever way it was said?! But yeah, from what you say, it does sound kinda weird! But so too does you saying some posters literally want a legal curfew for men. That's got to be hyperbole, too?!

Anyway, my point's basically just let's be a bit more sympathetic to OP. I just get a bit wordy!

He’s probably wondering why you started following him!
I do a lot of trail running, I often pass men out on their own on the tracks. I’ve never once had an encounter more than a cheery hello or brief chat. Most people are normal and just going about their daily lives.

unfortunately I don’t live in the UK. take your feigned pity and privelege and use it to improve women’s rights outside of your rich bubble

I agree and am glad more feel comfortable having conversations with people in our lives about our experiences so they can be aware of how they impact us without always knowing. I do think it's important to recognise that we don't know what it's like for other people, and yes, that quite a few men don't get how intimidating they can be by just being unless it's directly discussed with him.

I'm also with those who don't see what else this guy could have done in the situation, and think the OP's threat response - while worth listening to - may have led to escalating her fears by following him rather than stopping to create more distance.

But I'm very surprised you'd feel anything other than a bit awkward as the man in the situation described. What would you fear the wonan would do to you, and what is the basis for your fear?

You're surprised men can feel a wide range of emotions about a situation, including fear? Maybe ask the guys in your life how they would feel if a random woman they had passed in the woods stopped, turned around, and started following them.

I asked one of my adult son how he'd feel in this situation where a woman he passed in the woods turned and followed them back down the same path, his first word was intimidated followed by fear, because of the unknown. He said he'd react by fleeing/speed walking. My younger teenage son agreed, said he'd tell the person to stop, then he'd run away and if they kept coming call the police.

I asked my adult daughters how they feel when alone if a man passed them in the woods - one said really anxious, the other was meh, wouldn't care. The first one doesn't go into the woods solo anyways, so just saying being alone in the woods made her face twist in discomfort. When I asked how they'd feel if anyone they'd passed in our nearby woods turned and followed them, they both said fear, the meh one reacted strongly that that was just a no, she seemed to find it scariest out of all of them.

Maybe we all need to appreciate that we can be intimidating without realizing it, and also that we cannot always predict how others react to how we act.

You turned and followed him. You were the one acting weird.

Maybe the locals co-opt the woods and make man free Mondays? Idk man I’m not a politician.

There's a difference between saying ,"I am intimidated when I come across men in an isolated area even though they may be doing nothing wrong" and saying "this man should have modified his behavior"

I accept the OP or any other woman might feel fear or anxiety in an isolated area with a man, that is understandable. I also support the position that men should be aware of their inate underlying threat to women and modify their behavior to motivate that they and signal that they are not a threat.

However the OP is saying that this man's behavior, not just his mere presence, was intimidating and he should have modified his behavior yet can't say what that modification should have been.

If the position is that his presence is the behavior then it is not absurd to consider that the modification the OP and others want is for him to not be there as so far nobody has really offered any other suggestions as to what the modification would be.

I never thought about the walking at night think when I was younger and then a friend pointed it out to me and how crossing the road alleviates it's somewhat but also is a non verbal signal that you recognize the anxiety and are showing you are not a threat, it's a simple modification to do so I started doing it.

If this conversation is just "it's shit that simply being near a man in an isolated area causes me fear and anxiety because of the prevalence of male violence" I don't think there's any argument. It's shit and men as a class are responsible for that. But what the OP is saying is that what this specific man did was wrong, he should have done something different and if he was decent he would have when there's nothing different he could have done

You never go anywhere remote or stay in after dark for fear of being attacked?
I'm female and find that sad and limiting for you.
That may be what you do but you don't speak for all of us. If I started to do that out of worry I'd be wanting to look at getting myself some help.

I get you OP, I've also been in similar situations and have been ran after by a man before.

I do think men need to be more aware of how small actions can make lone women feel.

Even my 15 year old crosses over on the school run if he's behind a lone girl so grown men should be able to grasp basic awareness.

Men should be aware of their impact on women, absolutely.

But I can't really see what this guy has don't wrong. He didn't follow a woman, just stopped to get something out of his bag while he was being followed.

I think there's a chance he was uncomfortable as the op changed direction to follow him!

And if what you describe above had happened to me personally, I'd totally get the need for frustrated hyperbole. I'd spend the rest of the day irritably muttering to myself about it! But what you describe above isn't the same. Obviously.

In response to what actually happened (lone woman, lone man, no direct communication between them, subsequent discussion on anonymous forum)...

...Even if I were the man himself, reading all this, I still hope I wouldn't respond with angry hyperbole about the limits such pathetic women want to place on my life. I like to think he'd respond with something more like, "Honestly, that one's hard to understand - there must be something else going on with her."

And I'm not the man himself. And nor are you. And that's what I find so fascinating.

I mean, it makes perfect sense for random third party posters to highlight OP's response as disproportionate in their view, and extend sympathy to a man who was probably a perfectly nice bloke.

It honestly doesn't make sense to me for people who weren't even there to get quite so het up about the poor man (who probably continued merrily on his way after this!) that they're prepared to risk insulting or upsetting a woman who, for reasons we can't fully understand, is still worrying about an experience she found upsetting.

Well tbf that’s what we have to do to avoid being raped so yeah… might be nice for them to do it for once. You know

...mauled to death by a Cockapoo.

I'm just preparing my post, 'All dog owners should read this,' but struggling to get the right highly strung, irrational tone and wording... but dog owners need to be aware of my fear of being wrestled to the ground by a ferocious Chihuahua and having my throat ripped out... in the local cafe.

I can accept why she might be scared. That’s not even a quandary I have! But she says all men should be aware of displaying the behaviour that this man exhibited and we’re asking ‘what behaviour’!

He didn’t do anything so what could he have done about his none existent strange behaviour that all men should be aware of?! What could he have done differently other than ‘not be there’?

And then the OP turned round and started following him...he was probably looking in his rucksack for HIS car keys in case he needed to defend himself.

No..someone upthreas, way back suggested he could put his hands in the air. The 'blinking out of existence' yes is hyperbole put it seems to be what some posters would like men to do...Just never go anywhere remote, or after dark on tje off chance they encounter an anxious female.

We’ve given you so many reasons why being a man is intimidating to some women in certain situations. You pretend to understand and then you argue against yourself later on.
you either respect why some women are scared of men or you don’t, which is it?

I actually think you made him uncomfortable and that’s why he stopped in his tracks and wanted to drop behind. He had previously walked past you, paid you no mind and you changed course to follow him…