AIBU to stick to the court order?

His solicitor is trying their luck. If you’ve already made arrangements to accommodate contact and now he wants to change that and you can’t, he’ll have to miss out. Can you get an email from your manager to you saying it’s too late to change your day off/the rota/whatever? Ask that his solicitor confirms whether he’s coming as ordered so that DC isn’t disappointed.

Just keep repeating that you can’t take any further leave it’s all accounted for to cover school holidays/lack of childcare and covering sick days.

Stick to the court order. Have your solicitor explain that this is the court order and that you have to work to provide for your child. Your solicitor sounds weak and lazy.

I'm not expert and have never been in your situation but this is what I'd do too.

Don't be bullied by his solicitor. If you can't get the time off then that is how it is. Offer a few other dates and then the ball is in his court. Maybe your solicitor should send a sharp response back.

I would just feed back that you are unable to take the time off work to meet the alternative dates he has requested but you could do the following days - list several that would work for you.

His solicitor is being a bully and quite possibly has been fed a pack of lies as to why he hasn’t seen the DC etc.

No, my exh tried this. The contact centre also had a no phone policy so time was for DC. He used to sit on his phone and contact staff had to warn him if he didn't stop using his phone he'd not be able to use centre. He missed many session then tried to demand I brought DC to him to catch up his sessions. I ignored him. When we went back to court and he tried complaining to judge he told him he was unreliable and he must stick to dates/times agreed.

How has this last week been?

He obviously doesn't give a shit about his child. He just wants to make your life difficult by dicking you about to cause the most inconvenience to you.

As other posters have said, stick to the current agreed arrangements.

Actually 4 year long court case had me wise of court proceedings
.. I know how things get 'accidently' omitted.. And how Cafcass can be bias... And lie.
And get caught out on the stand.

If there’s written evidence of you agreeing with him to change dates you won’t get in trouble for not turning up at the original date
if you turn up when you know he won’t be there and photograph your child looking sad you’ll rightly be eviscerated by CAFCASS

how about people who have no experience of family court at least add the disclaimer to their batshit advice . It’s so exhausting reading the nonsense that gets chatted

I think that's a bit naive @TurtleGroove - there is at least a possibility that OP's ex is playing games, in which case he would not be the first to organise contact for specific days, then ask her to change them, and then turn up at the centre on the original days bewailing her lack of attendance and telling the supervisors this is exactly what he thought his awful contact-refusing obstructive bitch of an ex would do to alienate him from his beloved child.

If she doesn't turn up with the child she is in breach of the order (and he might well arrive for contact even if he's said he won't). If she does turn up as per the court order the child is likely to be upset if the father doesn't turn up. Heads he wins, tails she loses. It's a horrible position to be in.

Although I agree photographing the child at the contact centre is entirely unnecessary, since the supervisors will make a record of attendance.

Just because he told op he won't be there doesn't mean it's true.
He could be setting her up.

Horrified at the people saying take your child when you know he won’t be there, take photos of them waiting for him etc.

Why would you knowingly cause your child emotional distress and then photograph it?! That harm would be solely on you OP - he has told you he won’t be there.

OP, I would give an inch and see if he takes a mile. Anything that you’ve already made complicated arrangements to manage, tell him you can’t move because you’ve had to do xyz to accommodate his dates. But you could possibly do a different day instead of a couple of them as you want DD to be able to see him. See if he’s then magically able to manage the rest or if he wants to take you back to court so he can be in charge of it all.

I think you need to flex on this first request. Play the long game. You can ask that dates and times be supplied within the week.

If he messes about again after that then it shows badly for him as you have demonstrated flexibility

This from @SpryCat is good…

Keep calm, say you’re sticking to the dates on the court order and turn up on those days until he gets the dates changed via court. He could be trying to make you think he won’t be there so you don’t go and make it look like you are ignoring court order.

It's actually good that you have had to reorganise work. An example to the ex that such things can and should be done. And at least one of you managed it.
And to the court you were prepared to do whatever it took to forge a relationship between your dc and their df...
He can't say the same and it absolutely will go against him.

I think in those circumstances, and where he's already picked the contact centre and the dates, you're quite reasonable to stick to the order. I'd keep it in writing and keep it bland, along the lines of "I've already made a lot of adjustments so that I could accommodate the dates you asked for in court, I'm afraid my other commitments mean I can't change them again. Teddy will be available at the centre on the dates in the order." and leave it there.

And have a think about how you will talk about it to DC as well in the event that he is a no-show, because children are sponges for things they shouldn't overhear and you don't want your child saying to the Cafcass officer "Mummy says this is why the stupid fucker hasn't seen me for years!" or even just using what are obviously adult phrases like saying "Daddy didn't come and see me, but frankly our expectations were low." If you do speak to the Cafcass officer maybe ask their advice on how to find the balance if he lets them down - because you don't want to speak negatively about him to DC but also you don't want to invalidate their feelings either.

This is what I would recommend. If you contact them, you kill two birds with one stone in making them aware he has asked to change the order and that you want to do the right thing.

He went to court so he could dictate dates/times to feel that life revolves around him. He’s not satisfied because you complied with the court order and he wants to up his game to feel more in control and to mess you about.
You need proof you arrived at contact centre at correct times and days so take photos and get a signature to show you turned up.

From experience stick to it. I allowed my ex to move things and eventually my DDs became unsettled and worried when they would see their dad etc. I put my foot down and said contact order times only and he disappeared for nine months ( the second of three estrangement that he instigated) so I wish I had stuck to it from day one and been firm