Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

'many workplaces are an extension of the school playground.'

Absolutely.

Erm, no. He's physically assaulting you. How is reporting him childish?

Keep a diary of the barging, of your doing his work, and anything else you're not mentioning here.

Call him out on it every single time. You can do it with softening language or humour if it helps, I wouldn't normally recommend that but the whole point is to put it out in the open, show him you know what he's doing.

"Do you mind not bagging into me?"
"You bang your head or something today, you keep walking into me"
"Someone needs an early night, but clumsy today"

He's trying to intimidate you.
He's a childish bully and you need to stand up to him.

If calling him out on it doesn't stop him or he escalates it, go to HR or line manager.

Please report this. He sounds like a stroppy school child and not an adult. Totally unacceptable.

1/ Stop doing any of his work for him. Only do 'his' work if you are tasked it directly by your line manager. Even if it is much easier, even if you want to. Don't. At the very most ask your line manger and gain agreement that you do it before going ahead. You are putting yourself in the wrong doing this without direction. He could complain.
2/ If he physically barges you and hurt you, there is usually a H&S type process to log it. Follow this. Logically for this to have happened there must be some safety issue at the workplace to address (yes I know) but follow the procedure anyway.
3/ Log any abusive words, exactly what was said, when it occurs. I would follow up via email asking colleague not to use the term again/ refer to my weight again...whatever was offensive. Then when he does it again, log it again and email your line manager about the matter as you have asked him to stop and he won't = harassment. Ask for direction on what the next steps should be to get the behaviour to stop.

Before this loser does you a serious injury, speak to a manager, get him reprimanded.

Under no circumstances must you be left alone with him.

If there is a HR department, get them involved, right now.

He needs an immediate, verbal warning, he is assaulting you and your colleagues need to be ready to deal with him, for your own safety and wellbeing due to his malicious, and potentially dangerous actions.

You need to get this loser reported. Remember that males behaving like this in public can be reported to police and charged with assault.

It is childish. But if he reports you for something first, you'll likely be out of a job so start taking it more seriously & deal with it professionally. His age & number of jobs won't make a difference if he decides to engineer a grievance against you & takes it to HR. You'll make excuses & allowances for him at your peril.

As a manager I would want to know about this and be given an opportunity to address it immediately.

Reporting it isn't stooping to his level. It's saying I wouldn't put up with this nastiness and agressiveness and expect to work in a safe & hostile free environment.

If you are nervous start the conversation with "I really wish I didn't have to bring this to your attention but my efforts to remain professional, not react and hope it was a once off haven't worked...over the last number of days there have been instances where I'm been insulted etc ...

So many replies saying report and unreasonable yet you keep saying it’s just childish and petty? What is you want to hear ? It could be childish, a sharp word and he will stop. Or he could escalate as you are so passive and next time he will injure you ? Then you’ll be asked why you didn’t raise it. If you think there is a problem then there is. Don’t wait until he trips you up, locks you in a store cupboard or gets you sacked for something you didn’t do. Nasty behaviour in the workplace at such a young age is concerning. I can honestly say the first time he physically barged me would have been his last. That’s a line you don’t cross with colleagues. You are not mates.

He’s old enough to have a job. Report it all in writing to HR and say I’m being assaulted physically and verbally and it’s getting worse.

How can it be stooping to his level (dodging work and pushing people around) to go through the proper channels? How old are you OP? This is literally something you should report and make someone else’s problem.

I don’t know how old you are, or how much experience you have in the workplace, but unfortunately many workplaces are an extension of the school playground. You need to “tell a teacher”. That’s not stooping at all, that’s the right way to deal with a bully.

Stooping to his level would be not doing any work, physically assaulting him and verbally abusing him.

Everyone that has responded so far has said absolutely report it.

I'm not sure what responses you were expecting, but you seem pretty keen to play it down.

You need to complain to your manager about him. He’s bullying you. Leave his performance out of it when you do (that’s for management to determine) just keep it factual with these incidents (when, where, that you’ve asked him to stop, any witnesses) and let them deal with this.
Luckily, he’s already made himself known as an under performer, so you complaining about the bullying conduct might be the thing your manager has been waiting for to fail his probation/dismiss him, and the idiot has given it to them with a ribbon on.

How could you possibly think you might be unreasonable to raise it? Seriously, where's your mind going with this?

This sounds awful. As well as informing HR, I'd be keeping contemporaneous notes on the barging and snidey comments so you have them if the problem escalates. And please start calling out this idiot of a colleague every time he behaves badly.

As @MissyB1says, you need to over react to him. If he bumps you, say “ow that hurt”. If there is work to be done, ask out loud “so do you expect me to do your work”. Be loud so everyone else in the room witnesses it.

Please do not feel sorry for him because it’s his first job. He sounds bloody obnoxious and frankly he’s getting away with assault at the moment. It’s about time he learned his very first Big Boy lesson and was hauled up for a disciplinary. This behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated where I work and I’m amazed it hasn’t already been raised with management/HR.

He sounds like a vicious little shitbag! Stop covering for his lack of work, document every nasty remark and call out every incident of barging. This can't be allowed to go on. He should be out on his ear already.

It's a silly question OP - "AIBU to raise it?" 🤨

So I won't dignify it with an answer BUT I will say YABU to take on his work.

You're playing into his hands completely and sadly it's unlikely to get you anywhere.

Report to your manager and HR now.

Shut this little fucker down now while you are both on probation.
Be really clear on the specific phrases he is using and that he is physically harming you and it needs to stop.
Acceptable behaviour in the workplace and unacceptable behaviour for an adult are 2 of the phrases you'll likely want to use...

While I was at i would outline exactly how much additional work i was doing due to shithead NOT doing his work and ask what exactly your line manager's plan is to address this as (obviously) its not sustainable long term.

Do this in writing.
The way you do that is you write the emailing full. Meet your libe manager verbalise it then send the as discussed email pist meeting

Why are you doing his work AND allowing him to shoulder barge you ? What part of this is ok?

Go and have a chat with your manager, tell them everything you’ve written here. And if he barges you again exclaim very loudly and firmly “ouch! You just really hurt me! You need to be more careful, you can’t just barge into people!” Then stare straight in his face until he apologises. And stop doing his work - just document what he isn’t doing.