Male colleague keeps barging me and making comments about my appearance

Yes. And say loudly "I’ll add that to the list I’m keeping for HR."

Perhaps you could start overacting - eg saying ow really loudly whenever he does anything - draw attention to it. Get others onside, make sure it’s well known and then report if if you feel alone?

This is utter nonsense. Someone assaults you and you don't immediately report to your manager, HR, potentially the police? It's gross misconduct, and they could and should sack him on the spot. How can you possibly accept this treatment? I think you are being both unreasonable and ridiculous.

I can’t believe you would put up with this, stop making excuses for him and get a backbone, if not for yourself then for girls/women in the future he does this to, first job or not anyone knows this isn’t how to behave. No wonder men think they can behave like this when it’s not nipped in the bud immediately.

Or you’ll end up punching the silly little twat in the face and it’ll seem out of the blue, when it’s justified and been a long time coming! 😂

This will escalate if it is not dealt with. Then you will be asked why you didn’t raise it and your answer will be weak!

You would be completely unreasonable not to raise this. This isn't school, it's a workplace. And I don't buy that it would be hard for your employers to let him go. Getting physical with colleagues is generally instant dismissal anywhere I've worked.

I actually can't believe you think a man making comments about your weight at work is acceptable.....

You say he is leaving in a few months. So you might be inclined to do nothing, on the grounds that the problem will go away then. But equally, if you push back and he doesn't like it, that won't create huge problems for you, again because he is leaving soon.

I can see that you are really uncomfortable with assertiveness. I understand, because I used to feel that way too. It's a learned skill, and it doesn't come easily to everyone. You need to practice.

This situation is the perfect opportunity to get some practice in, so you'll be better prepared the next time somebody is nasty to you. There will be a next time. Start adding to your personal toolkit.

As I said, this is a pretty low-stakes situation because your workmate is leaving anyway. See what you can do to improve things now. Have a go. It doesn't matter if your attempt isn't perfect. Once you've said something or done something, think about how that made you feel, and what you might want to do differently next time. This is a learning opportunity.

No it wouldn't. Assault of colleagues (and there's an argument this is sexually aggravated as he wouldn't do it to a man) is gross misconduct and he could be sacked tomorrow.

You really do need to raise it with HR or your managers. Physical harassment like this is unacceptable on any level. It's not "tattling", overstepping or being weak or inappropriate. In its own way, you are also doing HIM a disservice by letting him get away with it - he will get the message that this is an OK way to behave and it's best for everyone, including him, if he learns this lesson at the beginning of his career, before he goes on to do worse, at your company or elsewhere. Any reference he gets for future jobs (including, maybe even especially the military) needs to be accurate too, and if he is a liability or a danger to colleagues then future employers may need to know about that.

Can you go back to the managers who assigned you his work for a discreet chat? You could say something like:

"Chris, thank you for assigning me XYZ project and the ABC task, I'm enjoying working on them. However, unfortunately, since I've started working on them, in the last few days Jon seems to have picked up on this and has begun going deliberately out of his way to barge into me or strike me. He shoulder barged me yesterday when walking past me, despite me having enough room behind me for him to not do that. Today he saw I was behind him and purposely rolled his chair backwards to bump into me. He also keeps making snide comments about my appearance - hair colour, weight, etc.

I'm finding this very uncomfortable and I would appreciate your advice in how we can manage this. I know that Jon is possibly only going to be with us for a few months longer, but his behaviour is becoming distracting and a real cause for concern. I would be grateful for your support in stopping it so that I can concentrate on my work without having to worry about Jon's intimidation."

Any decent manager (or, frankly, human) would want to know about this, so that it can be reigned in. You say your managers and colleagues praise you for your work and you sound like a good employee, I'm sure they would be sorry to hear that you are being subjected to this behaviour and would want to support you.

It is not being a troublemaker; it's bringing a legitimate concern to managers who have the ability to put a stop to it. They may even appreciate you even more for having the courage to speak up and trust them with your concerns.

Hope things get better for you soon. x

Another day, another martyr .

I hope it’s the Army he’s joining and his instructors give him a particularly hard time with lots of public humiliation.

Seriously though, I would make a written note of all the incidents both physical and verbal, dates, times and raise it immediately. It’s likely he will be let go now, rather than you having to ensure this until he gets through the forces recruitment process, which may takes months and months and he may not make it anyway.

Is he someone’s nephew? Why hasn’t the little bellend been sacked?

Let’s face it….i doubt he’d do this to a male colleague….its because you’re an older woman. This needs calling out Immediately.

Even more reason to report him. The armed forces don't need nasty little bullies. Letting him coast until he's due to leave is a terrible idea. Others must see how he's behaving and know you aren't making things up.

Presumably not, otherwise she wouldn't have started an AIBU to ask whether she should raise it, would she?

Another person who rushes to reply within a minute of the OP being posted without bothering to read it properly.

I agree that a witness would be good, otherwise, he'll just say that you moved left when he was passing, or didn't see you as he reversed his chair.

It's still worth making a complaint, however. Even if they just have a talk to him and tell him to be careful. He sounds like a proper little shit.

Record some of it. Then go to HR. Let him get away with it and he'll do the same to any woman he comes across in future.

Many many years ago I used to work somewhere where someone behaved like this, it wasn't reported and dealt with and he raped someone in the office after hours after a social event at work. He might be an obnoxious teenager but he is presumably physically bigger than you and could cause you harm. Don't put yourself in harms way by not wanting to rock the boat.

U need to report it now! Try to get a witness to speak for you too, next time he barges you shout STOP TOUCHING ME! At the top of your voice. And stop doing his work too, management should not be allowing this but he is actually physically attacking you. When he starts making comments about u put your phone on and record him. You need as
Much evidence as possible to prove it as the shitty little Cnut won’t have the balls to admit it.

Report to HR. He’s bullying you, it is harassment in the workplace. And if they do nothing remind them that they are vicariously liable for the acts and omissions of their employees.

Can you put your phone in your pocket and record him doing it?

You would rather be a doormat than deal with this? You have been given some good advice on here so follow it. His behaviour is unacceptable so call him out to his face giving him one more chance to behave threaten to speak to your Line Manager HR if he repeats this behaviour and ensure you do.

All this physical contact is assault and you must report it to your line manger. You’re not being childish in raising the issues this teenager is creating…,,,how he got a job in the first place just beggars belief……sounds like a total knob!