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AIBU?

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Fuming after DIL’s sister calling my grandson dirty after spill?

58 replies

LovingTraybake · 20/03/2026 15:32

My grandson, 12, is off school for teacher training day today so he’s with us as his parents are at work. We’d already arranged to see my son and daughter in law so we took him with us. DIL’s sister was there too. It was just a normal get together and nothing happened until my son was joking with my grandson and he burst out laughing whilst having a drink. The squash went all over the sofa, coffee table and floor so I got some toilet roll and cleaned it up with the help of DIL. Nothing else happened until I heard DIL’s sister calling him a ‘dirty boy’ and how disgusting he is for spitting on the floor and saying he should have a smack. DIL just said ‘oh it’s no bother, it was an accident’. I was absolutely seething and ended up telling her not to ever talk about my grandson that way ever again. It did cause a slight atmosphere but I don’t care and I’m not having someone talking about my family like that.

DH thinks I should have just left it as it may have caused a rift in the family but I just think how can a little boy accidentally spitting a squash drink through an involuntarily reaction cause a rift? And it was quickly cleaned up! I’m still fuming!
AIBU for thinking it was terrible from her and not want to speak to her for while?

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 20/03/2026 15:51

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:48

Assuming the 12 year old who spit it all over the furniture was cleaning it up too? Not just you and your DIL?

It’s stupid behaviour, so stupid boy is a better description.

Wow, involuntarily spitting out your drink because someone made you laugh is 'stupid'.

I imagine you of course have 100% control over your body at all times and obviously have NEVER laughed in your life.

IdaGlossop · 20/03/2026 15:50

What stands out for me is 'he should have a smack'. Assuming smacking doesn't happen in your family, I'd have said 'We don't hold with physical violence towards children in our family'.

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:48

Assuming the 12 year old who spit it all over the furniture was cleaning it up too? Not just you and your DIL?

It’s stupid behaviour, so stupid boy is a better description.

Pistachiocake · 20/03/2026 15:46

The only person who has a right to be annoyed is the person who owns the stuff. And even then, it's up to the adults looking after the child. I once was annoyed that a friend brought round her child (without asking us) and he destroyed some wedding presents, but I blamed her for not watching him, or at least asking if he could come so I'd know to move stuff out of his way. I'd never have shouted at the kid!

Wishimaywishimight · 20/03/2026 15:44

Sounds like a fuss over nothing. Worthy of an eye roll perhaps but I think "fuming" is a bit strong. I can't imagine a 12 year old being terribly upset by being called "a dirty boy".

LovingTraybake · 20/03/2026 15:40

@PrizedPickledPopcorn Yes she’s regularly at family get togethers including at my son’s

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/03/2026 15:35

Do you have to speak to her often? She’s another guest at your son’s house. I would leave it to them, to be honest. Your job is to reassure your your grandson that it’s ok, and perhaps remind your son not to wind up children while they are drinking! Still it’s his nephew, carpet and sofa I suppose.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 20/03/2026 15:35

I think you were right. I'd be fuming if anyone spoke that way to my child and I'd be happy to learn that an adult stood up for him.

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