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Fuming after DIL’s sister calling my grandson dirty after spill?

58 replies

LovingTraybake · 20/03/2026 15:32

My grandson, 12, is off school for teacher training day today so he’s with us as his parents are at work. We’d already arranged to see my son and daughter in law so we took him with us. DIL’s sister was there too. It was just a normal get together and nothing happened until my son was joking with my grandson and he burst out laughing whilst having a drink. The squash went all over the sofa, coffee table and floor so I got some toilet roll and cleaned it up with the help of DIL. Nothing else happened until I heard DIL’s sister calling him a ‘dirty boy’ and how disgusting he is for spitting on the floor and saying he should have a smack. DIL just said ‘oh it’s no bother, it was an accident’. I was absolutely seething and ended up telling her not to ever talk about my grandson that way ever again. It did cause a slight atmosphere but I don’t care and I’m not having someone talking about my family like that.

DH thinks I should have just left it as it may have caused a rift in the family but I just think how can a little boy accidentally spitting a squash drink through an involuntarily reaction cause a rift? And it was quickly cleaned up! I’m still fuming!
AIBU for thinking it was terrible from her and not want to speak to her for while?

OP posts:
AlexRidersButt · 20/03/2026 17:09

Coconutter24 · 20/03/2026 16:54

They’re not just your family though, it’s his auntie. Maybe they smack in their family 🤷‍♀️

It's not his auntie. His parents were at work. His grandparents took him to visit his uncle's house. His aunt's sister said the 'dirty boy' comment.

grumpyatwork · 20/03/2026 17:07

bumptybum · 20/03/2026 17:06

So can we assume snorting out liquid if you sneeze whilst drinking or coughing out a drink if you choke are also disgusting?

it must be amazing to have never had an accident of this sort in your life.

you’ve probably never accidentally farted either

I don’t think I’ve ever accidentally spat anywhere, to be honest. Certainly not empty to spray up a wall and all over the floor!

bumptybum · 20/03/2026 17:06

grumpyatwork · 20/03/2026 16:27

I think spitting drinks everywhere because you’re laughing is disgusting im afraid, and it becomes distinctly unfunny past age 6.

So can we assume snorting out liquid if you sneeze whilst drinking or coughing out a drink if you choke are also disgusting?

it must be amazing to have never had an accident of this sort in your life.

you’ve probably never accidentally farted either

grumpyatwork · 20/03/2026 17:03

Snugglemonkey · 20/03/2026 16:58

I would have pulled that up sharply! It is not stupid and even if it were, stupid behaviour does not make for a stupid boy! It is not acceptable to call anyone stupid, let alone a wee boy.

He’s 12. He’s old enough to know better.

Wingingit73 · 20/03/2026 17:00

It is disgusting. He spat.over everything. Strangely people dont like that. She was ott but you should've stepped in and told him off right away.

GardeningMummy · 20/03/2026 16:59

FeliciaFancybottom · 20/03/2026 16:13

Did you not have anything better than toilet paper to clean it up with? That's dirty imo.

Since when was toilet paper “dirty?!” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

satsumaqueen · 20/03/2026 16:58

Get over it. She over reacted and so did you, you are both as bad as each other.

Snugglemonkey · 20/03/2026 16:58

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:48

Assuming the 12 year old who spit it all over the furniture was cleaning it up too? Not just you and your DIL?

It’s stupid behaviour, so stupid boy is a better description.

I would have pulled that up sharply! It is not stupid and even if it were, stupid behaviour does not make for a stupid boy! It is not acceptable to call anyone stupid, let alone a wee boy.

Coconutter24 · 20/03/2026 16:54

LovingTraybake · 20/03/2026 15:54

We absolutely do NOT have smacking in my family.

They’re not just your family though, it’s his auntie. Maybe they smack in their family 🤷‍♀️

CustardySergeant · 20/03/2026 16:45

Surely you could have found something better than toilet roll to clean up with! It disintegrates very quickly when wet, by design.

Upstartled · 20/03/2026 16:31

grumpyatwork · 20/03/2026 16:27

I think spitting drinks everywhere because you’re laughing is disgusting im afraid, and it becomes distinctly unfunny past age 6.

Gosh, how do you cope with all the mnetters who are supposedly spitting their tea out at every minor amusement?

grumpyatwork · 20/03/2026 16:27

I think spitting drinks everywhere because you’re laughing is disgusting im afraid, and it becomes distinctly unfunny past age 6.

Shitmonger · 20/03/2026 16:26

Your son is an idiot for trying to joke and get his nephew to laugh when he had a mouthful of squash. He should have jumped up and cleaned it up while apologising to his wife for causing the mess.

The rest is just misplaced dramatics that should have been irritation aimed at your son for not having common sense.

Cakeandcardio · 20/03/2026 16:19

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:48

Assuming the 12 year old who spit it all over the furniture was cleaning it up too? Not just you and your DIL?

It’s stupid behaviour, so stupid boy is a better description.

Jeez oh. I think times have changed since you were young a verbal abuse isn't what we do anymore. You probably condone the use of the dunce cap too

Upstartled · 20/03/2026 16:19

He blurted out his drink whilst laughing, at his Dad by the sounds of things, and the dil moved quickly to avoid any staining. A lot of fuss over nothing from everyone involved, including posters here who are outraged by nothing.

Listlostlast · 20/03/2026 16:15

columnatedruinsdomino · 20/03/2026 16:05

The only ‘fuming’ would be at the two males that caused the incident who let two females do the cleaning up. Your son should have leapt up immediately to get the cleaning stuff and got your grandson to help. I would have just given the sister a quizzical look and left it at that, you and the others know it was a barmy comment.

This! You made a right scene for no reason, obviously everyone already knew the sister was talking shit and you probably made DIL feel undermined by riding in to the rescue when she’d already answered her as she saw fit, with all your my family, my grandson talk.

FeliciaFancybottom · 20/03/2026 16:13

Did you not have anything better than toilet paper to clean it up with? That's dirty imo.

Whosthetabbynow · 20/03/2026 16:12

Do you mean kitchen roll OP? Wouldn’t toilet roll have shredded everywhere and made more mess? I thought you were going to say he was two or three not 12! I’d have been fuming that he’d spat squash everywhere but I wouldn’t have commented, I’d have just made sure all the sticky shit was wiped up properly after you’d all left.

HeddaGarbled · 20/03/2026 16:11

Both of you were unreasonable. Your DIL must have felt like she was watching an episode of Eastenders.

IPM · 20/03/2026 16:08

Ridiculous overreaction from her.

As an aside, he's 12 and should've cleaned it up himself instead of the women running round doing it.

columnatedruinsdomino · 20/03/2026 16:05

The only ‘fuming’ would be at the two males that caused the incident who let two females do the cleaning up. Your son should have leapt up immediately to get the cleaning stuff and got your grandson to help. I would have just given the sister a quizzical look and left it at that, you and the others know it was a barmy comment.

Upstartled · 20/03/2026 15:55

I think the place was for your Dil to address it with her sister, and allow for her to choose to do that in the moment or later on without the public dressing down that will make future events awkward.

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:54

WiddlinDiddlin · 20/03/2026 15:51

Wow, involuntarily spitting out your drink because someone made you laugh is 'stupid'.

I imagine you of course have 100% control over your body at all times and obviously have NEVER laughed in your life.

Laugh all the time. Never managed to spit drinks out all over other people’s furniture at 12 years old Confused

LovingTraybake · 20/03/2026 15:54

IdaGlossop · 20/03/2026 15:50

What stands out for me is 'he should have a smack'. Assuming smacking doesn't happen in your family, I'd have said 'We don't hold with physical violence towards children in our family'.

We absolutely do NOT have smacking in my family.

OP posts:
ValidPistachio · 20/03/2026 15:53

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 15:48

Assuming the 12 year old who spit it all over the furniture was cleaning it up too? Not just you and your DIL?

It’s stupid behaviour, so stupid boy is a better description.

Involuntarily laughing and spilling a drink does not make someone a “stupid boy”.