Please help family and rent

Why have you left it this long. You need to toughen up.

@PropertyD I didn't buy the property.

I felt that she was over egging the situation she was in. The bf is a builder and is earning big money when he's at work but wasn't prepared to pay a normal rent.

With the niece still there??

The bf has a property currently let out. It's paying him rent. I would expect him to at least offer that. I understand the ops husband completely. My husband frequently gets upset when my family take advantage of me. For years I was the big earner and boy did I pay for everything.
I've learnt to keep quiet. My sister is certainly not my bff. She's a tight arsed bully who charges people interest if they borrow a tenner! Family let's are a nightmare. We had various relatives staying in our large property in the early 2000s. I wouldn't buy a big house like that again for that very reason. Windfall or not

I am not saying it’s right. It’s been going on for years!

I think the sister thinks like this

I'd imagine they presumed if you suddenly wanted to start charging for rent you'd have asked for it at the time.

He may have asked her about his part in contributing and been told its her's rent free, so no monies needed.

TBH I think your sister is the CF for not asking you if there would be any changes to the current agreement when she was asking if her DP could move in.

That I totally get. I guess I was confused about the fact that if the partner moved out they would go back to the sister not paying rent. Given it's been five years, the sister works and gets support from her ex, shouldn't she start paying something regardless of having a new partner.

OP is still helping her sister massively by letting her live in what is clearly a large, family home in a good area for significantly below market value! She's just saying that now her sister has a partner, that a) she shouldn'e be entirely responsible for looking after her sister and b) she shouldn't be responsible for looking after this bloke.

Seems pretty easy to understand.

I could ever own multiple properties, not need the money from one rental in the slightest, and charge my sister rent.

It’s nice that you are wealthy. It’s also nice that your sister can have a nice life with the disposable income of loving rent free. She’s now going to be £1700 down a month, which you’ve said multiple times you won’t even notice.

Nobody has a right to live rent free, but if I was in your situation there’s no way I’d be charging her. If your situation is really as wealthy as you come across, I’d probably even think about giving her the property if she was my best friend, and I had multiple mortgage free properties (even due to hard work), knowing she won’t ever be able to afford something similar.

Well, she doesn't really 'need' it anymore if her circumstances have changed. So yanbu

The OP has already stated in a post at 10:35 that there was no mortgage on the property. If you click on the Read All links on any of her posts you can find it.

I wonder why her partner moving in makes such a difference to your views on her paying rent. You said you wouldn't have expected her to pay if he hadn't moved in and you wouldn't expect her to pay if he moved out. I understand she is family and you want to look after her, but is that only if she is on her own? Is the partner not a good bloke?

I've had a similar situation.

I am due to sell some shares and will have a tidy sum to invest. My niece has been a single parent so six months ago I offered to buy a house she could live in rent free with her children. The discussion was she would buy it from me later or pay rent if she was back to work.
Within six months she was asking if her new man could move in too and suggesting he couldn't pay rent as he was self employed. I've walked away and I've seen her once since Christmas.

Do you need to ask. Couple of cheeky people. Get them paying some rent, now that ha s moved in and earning .
Is this for real. Why haven't you said anything?

Depends on income and earnings potential - say if she worked full time as well. You can get long mortgages these days. Standard used to be 25 years and paid off by the age of 70 or 75 but some now have no upper age limit or it's 80, 85 and you can even take out a mortgage as a pensioner, all depending on affordability. Mid forties may be no barrier.

😅😆😉

I can never understand why people feel obliged to allow family to live rent free in a property they currently own. At worst the family member (if they have no income) could claim some benefits to alleviate the situation. The point where your sisters BF was to move in would have been a good one to reset the boundaries and to set up the arrangement as an official tenency with the appropriate documentation. I would certainly not feel guilty about this. Who is currently paying for the council tax, insurance and so on?

I've voted yabu, not because I don't think they should be paying rent but because I think you should have explicitly stated that you expected rent when your dsis asked if he could move in.

You've been very generous to your sister, and yes, it's taking the piss if they can't even buy you lunch, but perhaps they think you're rolling in it and genuinely don't care.

Either way, I think the onus is on you to be transparent about your expectations. Decide how much rent you want and let them know. They can then decide if they want to keep living there on that basis.

Did she buy the coffees?!

Your sister did nothing wrong. She was told as long as she needs it. The disparity in wealth remains but it's never purely money: it's family obligation and even in that there are always emotions lurking on either side, such as envy, resentment, feelings of unfairness, being taken advantage of etc. which can upset the delicate balance of relationships.

If it were purely the money, you wouldn't charge rent as you don't need it and, arguably, she does. She still hasn't recovered sufficiently from being left with nothing to being able to buy a house, for example. So why charge rent? Ah, emotions - lunch and not offering rent on their side, which means not registering appreciation and gratitude or willingness to reciprocate with even small tokens of recognition of your consideration and gifts. And what of the delicate balance of her relationship with the new man who's only moved in three months ago? Potential there for more emotional undermining and destabilising of relationship and potential.