Teacher gave us SNAP-IV form out of the blue - AIBU?

Wow.

Really thought we were past this point of acting like any suggestion of neurodiversity is seen as an attack. Genuinely, what are you so afraid of, @primmy713 ? That someone might teach her coping mechanisms for her attention issues? I understand you may be genuinely worried, because I agree that there were a few years where if there was even a suggestion of ADHD, they started medicating the child. But it’s definitely NOT like this anymore.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. I had all the same struggles your daughter is having but, like her, I was “intelligent” so either they were willing to ignore my issues as long as I finished my schoolwork; it seems that, at that point, only those with the most severe symptoms were diagnosed. I still don’t take medication; it’s not necessary and wouldn’t help anyway, since I have inattentive ADHD, more than hyperactivity.

Worse, for a very long time, there has been this assumption that “very smart” people don’t have ADHD. Why? Because we assume anyone who’s smart enough should “be able” to stay seated? I promise you, this isn’t about your daughter’s intelligence, nor is it a statement on your parenting. If it were ASD, no one doubts that there have been some geniuses who had that. But when you look at biographies of true geniuses in our history, you’ll notice that at least a few of them mention behavior that looks like ADHD. I did laugh a bit at @InLoveWithAI ’s comment.

No matter how smart your daughter is, if she genuinely has ADHD and it sounds like she might, she will always struggle unless she gets some support in how to manage it.

Also, you don’t have to agree with the teacher. But the teacher’s concern should be enough for you to get her assessed. It sounds like it might be more helpful to have a professional assess her than to rely on either the teacher’s opinion or yours (as you don’t agree with the teacher and I doubt they’d agree with you, but this isn’t about whether you like the teacher; it’s about getting your daughter support).

Your approach to this is so wrongheaded!

ADHD doesn't mean your child is naughty or not bright or that there's something negative at all. It means she may struggle with concentration and need to fidget. Plenty of extremely intelligent people have ADHD. It's not "a mark against her" if a teacher identifies some ADHD traits.

Your child's teacher sees hundreds of 9 and 10 years old kids in her career. She no doubt is a better judge than you of what is typical behaviour of a child that age and what is an outlier.

If she's noticed your daughter is inattentive, a daydreamer, fidgets and gets derailed from tasks, it's a very good thing that she raises it. She's trying to get support that might benefit your daughter.

In old Mumsnet parlance, you need to give your head a wobble.

Ooooops guess I better hand my master's back, and not bother with my PhD, as i have ADHD. Nobody told me!

Definitely this. We've spent over £5,000 getting private assessments because the school didn't want to support our DC with their very overt ADHD. Had to force their hand with lots of evidence.

And your child's teacher, @primmy713, is offering help? How is that an insult? It will lead to things like extra time in her exams, which given her faffing around and taking a lot of time to settle to a task, will be invaluable.

Think yourself very lucky to have found such a good school!

These are 2 separate issues, IMO.

The teacher may not be the best. Clearly you don't like her delivery and feel she isn't great for your child. Not all teachers are good for all kids. Some will flourish under her, some won't.

DD has a term and a half left with her and then she moves on. Unless DD becomes upset by teacher's actions/school avoidant etc, I'd leave this alone.

What is confusing is that you seem affronted by the idea that your child could have ADHD. Why?

You get that many bright kids are ND, right?

What's wrong with letting a child understand their brain?! Nobody is saying your child is broken.

It's literally the teacher's job to identify potentially undiagnosed issues and raise it with parents. Not doing so would be a failure on her part.

IMO, not getting DD tested would be a failure on yours.

Just because your child is smart doesn’t mean that they won’t have ADHD. The teacher wouldn’t raise concerns for no reason, I’m sure she has other things to do.

This.

Swop ADHD and forms for needing glasses. How would you feel if your DD's teacher had mentioned that DD had problems reading the board etc.

Sometimes teachers notice things, sometimes parents do. but, in general, the sooner things are noticed the sooner help and assistance can be offered.

Maybe try to find out whether labelling her ADHD changes anything at all for her e.g. approach at school, educational methods, etc. These labels often stress parents, who then pay thousands for private assessments, but things sometimes don't change at school at all. So the first question I would ask would be: how will pursuing an assessment help my child at school?

OOps sorry - year 5!! But the same still applies - some children just need to move around more than others! I know this from my own three.

School is such a uniform system with little room for individual variation. I hated it!!

She is not age 5, she’s in year 5 which means she’s 9 or 10!

I have a child in year 5, and since she was little, we have always been told by teachers that she often day dreams in class.

This is because she is 5 and is shoehorned into a system that requires her to not behave like a 5 year old!!!

'Good, kind and respectful students' sometimes have ADHD too you know.

It's not a character flaw.

It sounds like the teacher has concerns rather than a vendetta. It is fair that she may see more issues at school that you do at home (and can work the other way) But she’s a professional you should be open to listening to her concerns. Looking into it could lead to avenues of support for your dd which can only be beneficial.
I’m not sure parent / teacher meeting is the appropriate place to open a discussion about this though as they are usually short/busy. She should have arranged a separate meeting to discuss it to give you opportunity to ask questions

Another one here with a DS who has ADHD and a brain the size of a planet, Cambridge Masters.

Your posts imply that you consider an ADHD diagnosis as incompatible with intelligence or academic success. That’s not necessarily true. My advice is to work with the teacher.

Your dd sounds very much like I was as a child. If it had been picked up at this stage it would have very much helped me. She may or may not have adhd but the teacher is right to raise it as a possibility.

it is really not out of the blue is it because you've been told the same thing for many years. You might also be aware of her reading and writing scores but I'm not sure how you how that fits in with the rest of the class To know she's top?
Additionally ADHD isn't linked to ability or intelligence. She may be coping extremely well in a primary school setting {although from the teacher's perspective she needs some extra support }but being tested and getting a diagnosis will make sure that any support that's needed as she ages is put into place so she can maintain her progress.

DD2 was like this, absolutely beautifully behaved, kind, gentle and academically did OK... but away with the fairies. Got through infants well, started to drop back a bit in juniors but still kept on a par with the middle-lower bit of the class (because she's a good reader and desperate to people please) - but the anxiety and cognitive load that it was requiring for her to do this increased and increased and was beginning to make her unhappy and hit her self esteem and she was aware that things didn't stay in her brain and her brain went off for wanders.

Diagnosed with inattentive profile ADHD in year 7, and she chose to try medication which has been a game changer for her - she only takes it on a school day and she can tell you when it takes effect, her focus has improved, her task initiation has improved and she's happier in herself because she's not constantly running to stay still as a starting point before getting on with any school actual work. Her marks have improved as well but that's not the thing I'm concerned about with her. Plus, she understands how her brain is wired, and we'll do things like decide which task in the "tidy your bedroom" mountain she's going to tackle and that will actually get done - rather than her standing there overwhelmed for an hour and coming downstairs in a tiara that she's found having completely forgotten what she was meant to be doing.

If the teacher had said, “she seems to struggle with her vision in class, she squints sometimes and seems to get a lot of headaches” would you be angry, or would you thank the teacher for their observations about your child in a different environment and get your child an eye test and possibly glasses?

I certainly wouldn't be angry. It took until Year 5 and me asking the teacher her opinion on if she suspected ADHD in my daughter for her to admit that yes, she did in fact think my daughter had ADHD. I often question how things may have been different for her if we had known sooner. ADHD is easily managed, adjustments can be made for your daughter to allow her to continue to thrive at school.

You know that having ADHD isn’t a Bad Thing, right?

Why exactly are you angry?

I wish a teacher had spotted adhd with my son early on. Would have made a huge difference

Please - for the sake of your daughter - read up on ADHD (especially in girls) and perhaps revisit the SNAP IV without prejudice. She may just be messing around - but if she has got ADHD, by ignoring support for her you are likely setting her up for hell in her teenage years.

Are you for real? Seriously OP, you are unbelievably lucky to have a teacher who can see where your child is struggling and looking at ways to get support in. ADHD doesn’t equal thick, you know that, right? Your daughter is good academically, just imagine how much more she could an achieve with a bit more support. I had to fight tooth and bloody nail to get my dd support, it was only in year 8 her teachers raised issues…year 8! If she had extra support when I raised the issues in reception and every bloody parents evening then on in, she wouldn’t have been playing catch up in her GCSE years, and more importantly when things went seriously awry in yr 9.

Your post just shows how teachers can’t win! Why on earth are you complaining when the teacher is only trying to help?

ADHD isn’t a learning disability - you seem to imply that she couldn’t have it as she had a high reading score? Spoken as a parent of a Cambridge graduate daughter with ADHD…