Teacher gave us SNAP-IV form out of the blue - AIBU?

She was moved towards the front of the class so the teacher could act as a prompt when her mind wandered. Sitting by the window was a no no as she would be distracted by pretty much anything going on outside. She will qualify for additional time in exams and breaks if required (which in her case they will be). Also don't assume that your daughter will continue as she is currently. My daughter did well at Primary School and is now in Year 9 and a school non attender.
It doesn't hurt to be aware of potential needs, if not for now, then in the future.

I read the first two paragraphs and immediately thought - possible inattentive ADHD. Then you say you already have ADHD in the family - and ND conditions tend to run in families - but you still can't believe that a teacher suggested she could have ADHD?

What the medication did for your brother was that is allowed him to focus like a person without ADHD. He might have chosen to cram all night - perhaps due to poor executive functioning - but that's not what the meds were about. The SEND coordinator was probably just giving general examples of the uses of getting a diagnosis, I doubt she was saying your daughter personally needed to be medicated to be able to read a book.

One thing that is sounds could be useful to her is a prompt in exams, you say she needs prompting to start her work and to continue it if she has a break and that is what a prompt will be able to do in an exam - or if she starts day dreaming. Without a prompt in an exam if she ends up getting distracted and day dreaming for half of it then no one will do anything.

I agree with a PP that the fidgeting is important, that is why she might need a break in an exam to be able to go out and move a bit. Blue tack in her pocket might be appropriate in lessons but I would get exam officer approval for exams.

She might also need to be in a small room to cut down on distractions - not sure if that is applicable or not. I would also request that she is sat at the front of her class is she struggles with day dreaming/filtering out distractions because as they get towards GCSE years even clever kids cannot get away with missing half the input as I found with DS.

This whole thing really isn't out of the blue, you have a brother with ADHD so it should already have been in your mind as a possibility, and it sounds like teachers have been commenting on it for years. They might not think it's 'bad enough' for a diagnosis but often what that means in a classroom situation is that her behaviour is not 'bad enough'. A diagnosis is not about bad behaviour though.

You will probably pick this up as you’re planning to do some reading, but fidgeting is natural and actually regulating for someone with ADHD, and to try and reduce it is more likely to cause anxiety or other loss of function.

Or you might have meant redirect - kids with adhd can use fidget toys, have movement breaks, different chairs or attachments to their chairs…

Needing to study "all night" is a bit of a red flag for not having managed sustained steady rates of study at earlier stages.

I was also a bright but daydreaming girl who read voraciously and scored extremely well on tests - until scoring well on tests started to depend on sustained focus (because the work got more difficult) and on time management that I couldn't do. I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as an adult.

I wouldn't worry about formal assessments in your position but I would keep a record of everything the teacher said and the teacher's questionnaire scores, as if your daughter starts to struggle later due to attention issues (when the work gets more difficult and needs sustained focus), then that evidence will be really valuable. I would otherwise just keep an eye on things.

Most 9 and 10 year olds don’t need a list from their parents reminding them to brush their teeth and get dressed. They might need a verbal nag “ get dressed NOW we are leaving for grannies in ten minutes”, but a list!

Remember your child is working in a class of up to 30 other children, no teacher has the time to verbally remind every child to start a task and keep on track with it. The teacher is trying to ensure that your child learns strategies which will support her learning ( and her life and work) in future years. You won’t always be standing behind her reminding her to brush her teeth

You are very keen to point out your child's academic achievements, but just because she is academically able, doesn't mean that she isn't neuro-divergent. It may be that her needs are becoming more apparent as she gets older and school life becomes more complex, or that she is masking and heading towards burnout. Or perhaps, her behaviour was more developmentally appropriate when she was younger and more in line with her peers, but is becoming more apparent as she gets older.

Girls tend to be under-diagnosed so I think you should take the teacher's concerns seriously. The fact that she has proactively bothered to explore this when so many parents are banging their head against a brick wall trying to get schools to take their concerns seriously, to me suggests something may be going on.

The goal shouldn't be to stop fidgeting OP, it should be to find a way to do it that is acceptable. Fidgeting is good for people with ADHD, it actually helps us concentrate.
With inattentive ADHD, which if your daughter has it that would probably be the one, the hyperactivity is internal. There is less visual hyperactivity but some fidgeting still exists. If you try to get her to stop fidgeting, all that energy she can use to focus on learning will be diverted to stop fidgeting, mask and act acceptable.

Medication to finish a book! - head-in-hands! And this for an avid reader. So wrong.

The aim of reading is not to finish a particular book (and tick a box) but to develop a life skill at a speed appropriate to each person.

That's not how meds work with ADHD at all.

DD2 did her SATs in a quiet room with a staff member allocated to gently prod her back onto task when her brain went skipping off on a tangent - had extra time but she's another where rest breaks as formal things would just mean she never got back to it!

I think you need to consider your own internal ableism here OP. I have combined ADHD and your daughter sounds a lot like me at that age. Unfortunately it was not picked up and had a major effect on my life in later years. Being neuro divergent and getting a diagnosis when young can be a huge difference in how it impacts you later.

If your brother is ND, it is even more likely because it is genetic and if you have found ways to manage at home you might even consider that you are naturally doing things to manage without even knowing you are. For example - sitting with her because she can't handle a difficult assignment - that is an adjustment because with ADHD there is a real struggle to start a task of you don't think you will be able to get it perfect straight away. Being top of her class and able to pick things up quickly but struggling with a tricky task is such a classic sign and one of the problems is that at some point the cleverness or quick thinking will not be able to make up for the struggles to study or procrastination.

I would really encourage you to research inattentive ADHD in girls because this is such a golden opportunity to get support for your daughter.

Yep, one of the reasons I left the profession. I once had a parent complain because I sent a marvellous me (praise / award system) to her about her son 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t expect all GPs or teachers to be a specialist. And I wouldn’t expect her teacher on the spot to be able to explain all adjustments and implications, that’s not her job.

If you’re not interested you don’t have to pursue questions about whether this diagnosis is a fit, but this seems to have really irked you. Is there really anything to lose?

ADHD is lifelong and having a label is helpful if you need support at university or with work - where no one can break down tasks for you and prompt you.

I was an avid and very advanced reader, devouring novels and encyclopaedias. I was seen as very gifted in many areas… An ADHD brain can focus but it’s very interest-driven. The brain often works a lot harder though with ordinary tasks, which can lead to burnout and mental health issues.

Not everyone who is referred for assessment is diagnosed btw - but you might still learn more about your daughters learning style.

You are shooting the messenger. This is really common when concerns about a child are raised, particularly relating to SEND.

“The teacher isn’t qualified to make those comments, or the teacher should have told you sooner or the teacher shouldn’t have phrased it that way or the teacher shouldn’t have raised it at parents evening” - this being angry at the teacher because they have suggested there might be something ‘wrong’ with your child is absolutely normal but totally irrational - don’t act on it!

Take the teacher’s concerns on board, maybe they see different things to you or your friends due to being in a different environment with different expectations and a peer group right there for comparison. Keep an eye on it.

I think you should thank the teacher for thinking about your child’s best interests.

My very bright child with adhd has a miserable time at school until year 9 when she was diagnosed.

Your daughter is very lucky to have this teacher this year, you should be thankful not ungrateful.

so you’re angry at someone trying to help her? As a teacher when I have parents like that I do wonder why I bother! The gp and other teachers aren’t experts. I would never say a child probably doesn’t have something, I’ve not got the expertise to know that.

As someone who at 54 who had just been diagnosed I'd say please listen to her teachers.

I was the same as your daughter, avid reader etc but was told the other stuff was just not trying hard enough. I went all the way through uni twice and it was always my fault I didn't try hard enough. It wasn't that at all.

The strategies will be aimed at helping your daughter. So she struggles with task initiation and will need help with that. She's like to struggle with rejection sensitive too.
The other thing that usually goes hand in hand is hypermobility, which makes holding pens for long periods of time an issue. It's worth keeping an eye out for joint and bone pains and joint over inflection. I was told that was all in my head too until I was 46