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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher gave us SNAP-IV form out of the blue - AIBU?

133 replies

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 08:19

I have a child in year 5, and since she was little, we have always been told by teachers that she often day dreams in class. We are very well aware, and sometimes getting her to sit and start her schoolwork can take a few prompts, but she always completes it and does very well. Her test scores over the past few years have been very good, and she enjoys school a lot. She's quite social, and like any girl her age chats to her friends (and sometimes in class!), but other than that we've always been told she's a good, kind and respectful student, and her tests scores prove the same.

She has a teacher this year who I always thought was just OK. But we never complain, we just get on with it. At our first parent teacher conference this year, she complained how our daughter fidgets in class and struggles to focus. We worked really hard with her over the past month, and now she's nailing all her subjects and one of the top performers in her class.

Last week during our parent teacher meeting, her teacher presented us a SNAP-IV form and said she believes our daughter suffers from ADHD and can't sit in her seat. She said that she often will get up in a lesson to sharpen her pencil, and it takes a few prompts to get her to start her school work, and somehow she always manages to finish them.

She never shared her answers for the form, but my husband and I filled one out ourselves and met with the SEND coordinator who reviewed our two forms, and said that the teacher had 18 marks against her vs our 7, so she probably wouldn't quality for ADHD support, but all agreed that her taking her time to start assignments was a red flag. She asked about her reading ability, and I explained that she's an avid bookworm who can read fluently. Her last set of state test scores show reading at 125 and grammar at 121.

So I am really not sure what to do with this information, besides explaining to my daughter to take school more seriously by not leaving your chair during lessons, and disrupting the teacher by talking to classmates etc. I am a bit angry and annoyed, why did she wait to share this? Is this normal behaviour to spring this on a parent with a SNAP IV form?

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RavenLaw · 20/03/2026 22:31

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 15:05

No not all - very organised. She knows where everything is. She's involved in a lot of activities/ sports etc and always packs everything the night before.

Same for school lunches, she has a look at the menu, and if she doesn't like what's on it, she will get up earlier, pack her own lunch...

Wow! I was getting ready to join the chorus - but that would be impressive for a 10yo with ADHD. My 11yo has quite severe ADHD and despite vast amounts of support still wouldn't be anywhere near capable of the sequencing that this involves. I'm not discounting the possibility; it might just be that your DD has got a really good routine that helps her be organised. And you say there's a family history of ADHD so you may well be unconsciously putting in the scaffolding she needs. So I'd keep an open mind but it is really positive whether she has ADHD or not that she's evidently doing so well.

nolongersurprised · 20/03/2026 21:32

If you don’t actively “do” anything about the possible diagnosis and just keep it under consideration things will become obvious over time. Bright children with inattentive ADHD often do well in the earlier years of school, but struggle when the academic and executive function demand increases later on.

I don’t think you need to rush to an assessment, but I’d also be grateful that an observant teacher highlighted concerns so you can keep an eye on things.

Arran2024 · 20/03/2026 17:24

You don't know how your daughter will develop or what might happen in the future. Often people with adhd can cope in one setting but find the following year much harder.

But it might not be adhd anyway. She could problems with receptive language or visual processing problems, where colums all merge together, or dyslexia or even PDA, which makes it hard to start a piece of work.

Ivwould be watchful for now but get her assessed by an Ed psych and speech and language therapist if it continues.

splagne · 20/03/2026 17:11

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:56

This was my initial reaction too. A lot of my friends claim their children are the same - so I am not sure if it's some form of inattentive ADD or she's bored/ tired/ hungry.

Show quote history

I expect my Y3s to start a task immediately. Children often mess about for their parents (my own do the same) but in school it is expected that children start a task as soon as they have been given the instructions. This is achievable for the vast majority of children by this stage of Y3.

AgnesMcDoo · 20/03/2026 16:14

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:40

No - absolutely not. But medication isn't a one size fits all is it?

Show quote history

It’s not.

it’s not needed for all.

there are also several different types of meditation options and at different strengths.

Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 15:20

sittingonabeach · 20/03/2026 15:17

What were the things the school put on the form?

I don't know - she didn't share it with us unfortunately. I was told by the SENDCO she would send it over to us, but it's been a week and nothing...

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 20/03/2026 15:17

What were the things the school put on the form?

Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 15:05

No not all - very organised. She knows where everything is. She's involved in a lot of activities/ sports etc and always packs everything the night before.

Same for school lunches, she has a look at the menu, and if she doesn't like what's on it, she will get up earlier, pack her own lunch...

OP posts:
KillTheTurkey · 20/03/2026 15:00

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:36

ah that's great news - how long has he been medicated, and how long ago was diagnosis? and how was he doing academically before medication?

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He got his diagnosis at 8 and started meds straight away. He was always ‘ahead’ academically but fell off his chair (dangerously) at least once per day, shouted out, interrupted, got up and walked around. Now, he just locks in and gets it done.

Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:56

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Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:56

catipuss · 20/03/2026 14:41

She may be really clever and just bored in class, if she can do the work in less than the time allocated I can understand why she gets fidgety. Why does everything have to have a diagnosis these days?

Show quote history

This was my initial reaction too. A lot of my friends claim their children are the same - so I am not sure if it's some form of inattentive ADD or she's bored/ tired/ hungry.

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Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:55

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Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:55

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yes of course, we had noticed at home if we asked her to do a task, sometimes we had to ask a couple times. If she didn't like the task (like decimals) we'd have to sit with her and get her to focus on it.

So during her past 5 years at the school, we have asked the teachers about her focus in class. They would often tell us that sometimes they would see her looking out a window or not paying attention, so they would either move her close to the front, or call on her when her hands wasn't raised and ask her a question to make sure she was paying attention. So I repeatedly asked if this was ADHD over the years, but all her teachers had assured us this was very normal for a lot of kids. I think it was always dismissed because she always did everything she was asked to do, good test scores, and behaved in a way the teachers approved.

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Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:48

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Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:47

domenica1 · 20/03/2026 14:40

It’s a stupid and ignorant opinion frankly. Just because she’s a GP doesn’t make her qualified to pass comment on these diagnoses. My child wouldn’t have qualified for a referral on the NHS because he was getting by just fine. Teachers just queried why exam marks were never as good as his classwork, but hopefully he’d pull out the stops for GCSE they said. They weren’t to know he had never been able to revise for a test or exam, ever. His brightness was masking his difficulties. As he gets older, it gets harder, even with meds.
you are lucky this teacher has raised it early and you can be alert to the signs. Senior school is often when you really start to notice.

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Good point. I will get in touch with the school and see how it's affecting her since we barely had any time to discuss. Just because she's sailing now doesn't mean she will in secondary school.

She gets tutored twice a week at the moment, which is probably why she's 'ahead' for now.

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Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:41

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catipuss · 20/03/2026 14:41

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 08:19

I have a child in year 5, and since she was little, we have always been told by teachers that she often day dreams in class. We are very well aware, and sometimes getting her to sit and start her schoolwork can take a few prompts, but she always completes it and does very well. Her test scores over the past few years have been very good, and she enjoys school a lot. She's quite social, and like any girl her age chats to her friends (and sometimes in class!), but other than that we've always been told she's a good, kind and respectful student, and her tests scores prove the same.

She has a teacher this year who I always thought was just OK. But we never complain, we just get on with it. At our first parent teacher conference this year, she complained how our daughter fidgets in class and struggles to focus. We worked really hard with her over the past month, and now she's nailing all her subjects and one of the top performers in her class.

Last week during our parent teacher meeting, her teacher presented us a SNAP-IV form and said she believes our daughter suffers from ADHD and can't sit in her seat. She said that she often will get up in a lesson to sharpen her pencil, and it takes a few prompts to get her to start her school work, and somehow she always manages to finish them.

She never shared her answers for the form, but my husband and I filled one out ourselves and met with the SEND coordinator who reviewed our two forms, and said that the teacher had 18 marks against her vs our 7, so she probably wouldn't quality for ADHD support, but all agreed that her taking her time to start assignments was a red flag. She asked about her reading ability, and I explained that she's an avid bookworm who can read fluently. Her last set of state test scores show reading at 125 and grammar at 121.

So I am really not sure what to do with this information, besides explaining to my daughter to take school more seriously by not leaving your chair during lessons, and disrupting the teacher by talking to classmates etc. I am a bit angry and annoyed, why did she wait to share this? Is this normal behaviour to spring this on a parent with a SNAP IV form?

She may be really clever and just bored in class, if she can do the work in less than the time allocated I can understand why she gets fidgety. Why does everything have to have a diagnosis these days?

Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

No - absolutely not. But medication isn't a one size fits all is it?

OP posts:
domenica1 · 20/03/2026 14:40

primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:27

I think because she's a friend outside the practice - she was very blunt. Otherwise she would have never said this to anyone else as her reputation would be on the line. And as a good friend, I would also hope she would be truthful in telling us that our DD should be referred etc for her own benefit - but you never know!

Show quote history

It’s a stupid and ignorant opinion frankly. Just because she’s a GP doesn’t make her qualified to pass comment on these diagnoses. My child wouldn’t have qualified for a referral on the NHS because he was getting by just fine. Teachers just queried why exam marks were never as good as his classwork, but hopefully he’d pull out the stops for GCSE they said. They weren’t to know he had never been able to revise for a test or exam, ever. His brightness was masking his difficulties. As he gets older, it gets harder, even with meds.
you are lucky this teacher has raised it early and you can be alert to the signs. Senior school is often when you really start to notice.

Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:36

KillTheTurkey · 20/03/2026 14:30

DS1 has ADHD and consistently scores 90% and over across all of his subjects (Year 8). He is medicated though Grin

I’m a SENCo and I would only flag this with parents if I were convinced it merited further investigation.

ah that's great news - how long has he been medicated, and how long ago was diagnosis? and how was he doing academically before medication?

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Kendallbeauty · 20/03/2026 14:35

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moose17 · 20/03/2026 14:31

The teacher is doing there job, would you rather they did nothing?

KillTheTurkey · 20/03/2026 14:30

DS1 has ADHD and consistently scores 90% and over across all of his subjects (Year 8). He is medicated though Grin

I’m a SENCo and I would only flag this with parents if I were convinced it merited further investigation.

Original poster
primmy713 · 20/03/2026 14:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I think because she's a friend outside the practice - she was very blunt. Otherwise she would have never said this to anyone else as her reputation would be on the line. And as a good friend, I would also hope she would be truthful in telling us that our DD should be referred etc for her own benefit - but you never know!

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