DP says I'd look younger with hair and make-up, AIBU?

It's because even just in a workplace context, some people have roles and/or status that affect the need for them to look a particular way. Part of that is about power. Not everyone has to play by the same rules. Only about 5% of the people who see my face as part of my work are in a position where their views on my appearance could impact me, so there's no reason for me to play along. Part of it is that appearance is just inherently more important in some work cultures and roles than others.

It does also work the other way, in that a lot of make up might get you judged as much as/more than none. But people still do that, which of course they have every right to do.

This does amuse me as you seem to have missed the several nasty comments to which I was responding!

Perfectly happy thank you. I've never asked DP but I doubt he would even notice if I went out with a bare face and I'm lucky that I've aged really well and there's not a huge difference, I just look more put together with some tinted moisturiser and some eyeliner. My point of view comes from my own high standards and in the exact same way as I panic if I haven't put my pearl studs in 😂 I just feel better if I look vaguely decent.

Anyway back to the poor OP who has seen their thread hijacked with people inferring I'm a disgrace to woman hood, your husband isn't wrong! In light of the information given about small children and 4 hours sleep however, he should possibly have kept his thoughts to himself!

On reflection I do buy anti-wrinkle cream now, I suppose it's some kind of internalised misogyny.

I yes, I definitely go for an SpF one now but i have definitely left the house without it. It's sensory for me though, I absolutely hate tight skin.

The misogyny is strong here. Blaming women for their partners having an affair. What!

I don't think that it is true as you age I think lots of make up just doesn't work. I was recently asked for ID at a supermarket from a young man shop assistant he was on my about 20, I am mid 40s and he was genuinely shocked, I wasn't wearing any make up. Although, I think it can depend on your colouring, complexion, dress sense etc. I'm blond and will go a bit golden in the sun, I'll n the summer especially, make up looks not as fresh I suppose which at my age I think ages me.

As someone who was a full face girl until 3 kids.
No one needs make up. I always tie my hair up as I cant stand it on my face.

Your husband is a dick. No one ever says to men 'oh put some mascara on' or do your nails.

Snootiest got nasty and vitriolic awfully quickly. For someone who judges everyone who doesn't conform to her rigid beauty standards, those haven't seemed to bring her much happiness, have they?

"Paint your faces, ladies, or your fella will shag someone with more eyeliner than you..."

What a bloody grim world view, and so shallow. Why I love DP and he loves me are not because of our personal grooming regimes.

I have no idea what most people's motivation for skincare regimes is. I don't have one. Some skincare is just about cleansing but a lot is about anti-aging and wrinkle reduction.

I don't really think skin care is in that category though, does anyone think they have to wash their face and put moisturiser on for the world? Surely, like me people are cleaning their faces and then ensuring their face doesn't feel dry.

Agree , I would say this about myself as well.

The poor lambs. After the trauma of having to have a lovely dinner ruined by their partner's bare face it's only fair they should seek solace elsewhere.

Silly me forgetting that a man whose other half refuses to glam up adequately has no option but to find a more correctly-decorated alternative.

I think it depends on your age, I have naturally long lashes but they are light brown so I regularly wear mascara. However, I think much more than that can really age me now (mid 40s).

This is an astounding viewpoint to me but we are clearly in very different places on the topic.

Well, loosely there is, they're called mistresses 😂.

Pretty much. Most men don't look better with make up on whereas most women do past their early twenties. In a world where judgment is instant and based on appearances I cannot phathom not using every tool at one's disposal!

I didn't say there was anything wrong with skincare if it's something you enjoy. I specifically said it's not something I'm interested in but that doesn't mean I have an issue with it. All I have an issue with is the insistence from some that not using it is some kind of failing to look acceptable in public and that if it becomes something you feel you have to to have before going out that makes me sad.

Doesn’t everyone look younger with hair and makeup? It’s a fair statement to make

To me its a compliment but I can see how it's possible to be taken badly.

What's wrong with skin care, I find it beneficial as I hate the feeling of tight, dry skin. I'm talking, face wash and moisturiser and lip balm that is neutral. My husband has a similar skin care routine and has dark hair so has a trimming shaver that leaves a bit of stuble so he definitely takes the same amount of time on that. It does take me longer to wash my hair as it is long and naturally wavy so it needs a bit of care to stop looking fuzzy but I like long hair, I'm not doing it for anyone.

Hopefully there is some kind of support group for men whose wives refuse to adequately paint their faces before being seen in public.

So you consider both men and women who aren't wearing make-up in the workplace to be scruffy? Or is it only the women. Women's bare faces are offensive in a way men's aren't?

The horror of a bare face.... How will the public cope 🤣

Gosh, you do you and go and burn your bra or whatever. I consider scruffy men and women rude and in the workplace, unprofessional. When I'm at the gym, the stables or working in the garden then of course I look different but I certainly wouldn't expect my partner to sit and look at a bare face if we were out, for example.

I'll leave you to plait your armpit hair, shall I?