Page 11 | DP says I'd look younger with hair and make-up, AIBU?

CurlingChamp · 2026-03-19T23:50:19+00:00

I’ve been out this evening and was chatting to two much older men (70s/80s) that I’ve known for some time. My age was mentioned along the lines of “well you’re younger than my youngest son, and he’s 44. You’re about 42 aren’t you?” As a soon to be 48 year old who runs on 4 hours sleep with 2 young children and a full-on job, I was pleased with the compliment… …until I told my DP, who thought about it and said “just imagine if you did your hair and make-up, you’d look maybe 37”. How would take that comment from your DP?

Jamesblonde2 · 20/03/2026 09:04

First of all, when someone is a lot older than you, they can get age brackets wrong, so I wouldn’t necessarily take the old fellas comments as a compliment.

Secondly, your DH is probably right, as well you know.

Do you not do your hair and make-up, if not why not? Did you used to when you first met?

SteaknSalad · 20/03/2026 08:57

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:47

@Happytaytos whatever makes you happy, but as I said I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort. I’ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t look better with a swipe of mascara and lip balm. I’m not talking about an inch of foundation and false lashes but I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to look their best.

My hair takes 10 minutes and my face about 3. I work full time, have 2 children and I wouldn’t let them out of the house looking scruffy.

This is a great example of how these societal expectations are harmful to women. If a woman feels she must spend 15 minutes per day doing hair and makeup, that’s 91 hours a year.

Think of all the beneficial activities that could be done instead with those 91 hours - learning new skills, reading books, improving fitness, even just resting would be more beneficial to health.

Men have no societal pressure to to apply harmful chemicals & heat to their hair, or to smear various creams and powders across their face. They get to use that time for self improvement or leisure with no repercussions. Nobody is telling them they would look so much more “put together” if only they would waste their time swiping black gunk on and off their eyelashes every single day of their lives.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/03/2026 08:57

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/03/2026 08:49

Your partner is right.
Hair and make-up done right always make you look better.
I do my face every morning, even if I'm not going out, and it takes two minutes.
I keep my hair styled and get it cut every four weeks.

Do you face if you're not leaving the house? You need to get a job or a hobby.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/03/2026 08:56

I'd tell him if he'd get more sex if he was nicer to his wife.

Happytaytos · 20/03/2026 08:50

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/03/2026 08:49

Your partner is right.
Hair and make-up done right always make you look better.
I do my face every morning, even if I'm not going out, and it takes two minutes.
I keep my hair styled and get it cut every four weeks.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/03/2026 08:49

Your partner is right.
Hair and make-up done right always make you look better.
I do my face every morning, even if I'm not going out, and it takes two minutes.
I keep my hair styled and get it cut every four weeks.

ifonly4 · 20/03/2026 08:41

Ignore him.

By the way, one thing for sure, if these chaps think you look younger, they won't be the only ones!

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 20/03/2026 08:41

If mine said that I'd be shocked. He's very much a I love you as you are person. Thinks make up is completely unnecessary. If mine made a comment like that it would definitely be negging because he was feeling insecure. If this is out of character for your dp try to find out what's behind it.

DryIce · 20/03/2026 08:35

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:41

I’m struggling with this - most people look better with their hair and makeup done. I rarely wear a full face of makeup but my hair is always styled and basic face done. I confess that I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort to look somewhat put together.

I feel like this will sound arsey, but I really mean it genuinely! Why do you feel people should look somewhat put together? And why does a woman's version of that include make up but not a mans?

EverythingGolden · 20/03/2026 08:35

You know your dp. If he has form for this it’s probably a deliberate attempt to bring you down after someone complimented you. If it’s out of character I’d let him off.

lottiegarbanzo · 20/03/2026 08:31

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:41

I’m struggling with this - most people look better with their hair and makeup done. I rarely wear a full face of makeup but my hair is always styled and basic face done. I confess that I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort to look somewhat put together.

Most people would benefit hugely from fluency in a second language. I despair at the ignorant, ill-educated insularity of most Brits, displayed daily. Twenty minutes learning a day would grow brain cells, broaden horizons and change lives.

But I manage not to look down on people or issue put-downs, because everyone is normal for them, people have different priorities and I’m not an utter dick.

OP he’s negging you.

RedToothBrush · 20/03/2026 08:31

Demand he pays for doing your hair and make up going forward or he apologises.

binnibonnieboo · 20/03/2026 08:31

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:47

@Happytaytos whatever makes you happy, but as I said I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort. I’ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t look better with a swipe of mascara and lip balm. I’m not talking about an inch of foundation and false lashes but I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to look their best.

My hair takes 10 minutes and my face about 3. I work full time, have 2 children and I wouldn’t let them out of the house looking scruffy.

I don't bother because I couldn't give a rats arse. My husband adores me.

Rubberduck01 · 20/03/2026 08:30

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:41

I’m struggling with this - most people look better with their hair and makeup done. I rarely wear a full face of makeup but my hair is always styled and basic face done. I confess that I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort to look somewhat put together.

You don’t need makeup to look put together.

binnibonnieboo · 20/03/2026 08:29

I'd tell him to fuck right off

DivorcedAndDelighted · 20/03/2026 08:28

CurlingChamp · 20/03/2026 07:38

There’s a lot of things I don’t say because of this, but then you end up saying nothing. Sometimes you forget yourself and just tell the person next to you without thinking it over and over.

Edited

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Maybe that's how your DH feels?
Personally I'd take it as a further compliment. He agreed that you look good for your age and, if you could be bothered with the hair and make up, you could look even better. Do you disagree?

Mintchocs · 20/03/2026 08:25

It's factually true, so I wouldn't care. I can't see myself being offended. If you'd replied that if he dyed his hair, used moisturiser and so on, he'd look younger too, he'd probably just agree! Because it's true. Doesn't mean either of you have to do it.

THisbackwithavengeance · 20/03/2026 08:23

If your DH were a woman, people would be calling him a bitch.

As my old Mum would say: “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/03/2026 08:23

Driftingawaynow · 20/03/2026 08:07

Single mum with cancer here. Because I’m tired and busy and have other priorities.

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I hope you recover soon c

InterestedDad37 · 20/03/2026 08:22

(humour 👉) "That's nice dear" - maybe the 1970s sitcom non-committal response would have been appropriate.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/03/2026 08:22

Farewelltothatid · 20/03/2026 01:01

I'd wonder if he was a bit miffed that these older guys had been talking to you and complimenting you and so he felt the need to bring you down a peg by saying something unpleasant.

This

Thesnailonthewhale · 20/03/2026 08:20

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:41

I’m struggling with this - most people look better with their hair and makeup done. I rarely wear a full face of makeup but my hair is always styled and basic face done. I confess that I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort to look somewhat put together.

Same reason men don't have "a basic face done".

Iwanttogohomebymidnight · 20/03/2026 08:17

My hair takes 10 minutes and my face about 3. I work full time, have 2 children and I wouldn’t let them out of the house looking scruffy.

Do you force your children to wear make up?

Rubberduck01 · 20/03/2026 08:12

FlingoFlamingo · 20/03/2026 07:47

@Happytaytos whatever makes you happy, but as I said I don’t understand why people don’t make an effort. I’ve yet to meet a woman who doesn’t look better with a swipe of mascara and lip balm. I’m not talking about an inch of foundation and false lashes but I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to look their best.

My hair takes 10 minutes and my face about 3. I work full time, have 2 children and I wouldn’t let them out of the house looking scruffy.

You haven’t met me then 😂. I’ve never worn a scrap of makeup in my life, and shock horror, not even on my wedding day. I’m comfortable in my skin. I can assure I’m not scruffy and my children never went out scruffy either.

trainkeepsgoing · 20/03/2026 08:09

I don’t think I’d mind as it’s probably true (unless I had done my hair and make up)