AIBU to feel really unsettled after finding condoms in my 15 year old’s room

I don't think 15 is exceptionally young for this behaviour. And it's a sign he's taking responsibility. So I guess you just have to accept he's growing up. Whether you want to ask who his partner is, well I wouldn't go that far but maybe you could find a way to ask. Not sure if you need to though

The only thing you have said in your OP that worries me is “he’s quite entitled”

I think a very frank conversation about consent is where you need to focus your discussions with him

Better than a pregnant girlfriend.

Probably given them at school during a PSHE talk. Nothing more, nothing less.

And now I shall forever think of it as a 'prick stick' 😬

I feel the teachers pain.

Mine had, what was in theory, a good idea of having an "honest box" where you could anonymously submit ANY questions about sex and the teacher would try and answer.

Some of the questions ..... 🤯😧🫠😳🙃 Jesus Christ.

I'll give you one example.... "What is a rainbow kiss? " (Do not advise googling that one 🤢 and I drws to think how or why they even had heard of it-im going to take a stab in the dark and say probably porn )

They used dildos! I pity the teacher in that room of 14yo boys.

I still thought practising at home with the real thing was important - you want that condom on properly every time!

As someone that is experienced with boys.i think

A) terrible invasion of privacy
B) boys buy condoms because they think there are getting a shag tommy, reality is sometimes different

Child marriage is illegal in most of the UK.

I truly hope by the time your sons had sex education theyd found a better way to demonstrate how to put one on...

Do you know what they used in our sex education circa 1999?

A pritt stick 😳🤣😩 can't say that was the..erm ..best example.

Might they have been given to him through a health scheme? When we had sex education I vaguely recall them giving our condoms. Granted most of the lads were at the level of maturity where they just blew them up and inflated them like slimy balloons 😳 so having them doesn't necessarily mean he's actively having sex if that's any small reassurance!

15 is legally a child. I would have a talk with him about them as others have said make sure consent is discussed and safe use. I have mixed feelings about the idea of invasion of privacy because he is a minor and your responsibility. Plus i would go in my sons drawers to borrow a pen and stuff like that and he wouldn't mind, if he wanted to hide something im sure he would find somewhere else, so i just dont see it like that but i guess others do. On balance though in year 11 he can only be a few months off 16 so I wouldn't be too stressed about this.

I had condoms in my purse at 15. Didn’t actually have any use for them until I was 17, but I had them just in case.

Ultimately, you aren’t going to stop a teenager having sex, and the fact that he has condoms is a good thing. If he’s having sex, or hoping to, he’s obviously got safe sex in mind.

He isn’t a little boy and he’s going to be over the age of consent in a few months anyway.

My sons were given condoms at school, during sex ed. Around Year 9 from memory.

(I told them they should practise and get comfortable using them before they even thought about actual sex with a person. Trying to open one and put it on for the first time one handed, urgently and possibly in the dark is asking for trouble IMO.)

Yeah, he’s not a child, he’s a teenager and in a few months he will be legal and allowed to get married.

The facts he is being safe with condoms is a good thing.

I think you need to have a talk with him . If he is only 15 , he needs to make sure his partner, boy or girl , is not underage or illegal. Does your DH feel comfortable talking to him if you aren't. It is a bit of a shock which is why being a parent if adults is strange . My daughter is getting married and yet I remember teaching her how to use a spoon . 😁

No, I got the point. You said he was “just a child” in four separate comments; I have no idea if you’re actually in denial about him growing up, but I was sharing this based on all the parents I know who didn’t gracefully let their children grow up. It sounds like you do genuinely care, so I imagine it’s not the type of person you’d want to be.

A 15-year-old boy is NOT a child. The sooner you admit that, the better off you’ll be. If he walked out your front door right now, the police wouldn’t even return him to you (as long as they could check on him and he was safe).

You should talk to him to ensure he understands consent and the sort of problems that can arise having any sort of sexual relationship during these years where he may be over the age of consent and the other person under it, or one of them is over 18 and the other isn't. And ensure he knows the risks of sending and receiving nudes in this context. That's all the really life ruining stuff. Followed by pregnancy and STDs which I'm sure he does already understand if he's using condoms.

I'm sure it's a shock but at 15 he's a pretty standard age to become sexually active so you just need to help him make smart choices and feel comfortable talking to you.

If it's any consolation I understand OP, I feel the same way and my DS is 23. But he's still a child in my eyes!

It’s so tricky. Just a slight suggestion that if you do talk to him about it, maybe don’t assume it’s a girlfriend. My friend had a similar situation and had a long involved talk about pregnancy and then it turned out it was a boyfriend. She just assumed (fairly - it’s more likely!) but then she just felt even more awkward about it.

It might just be curiosity too - I know my friends and I were interested in all that before it was actually relevant. We dared each other to buy them when we were about 14.

I think at least he is being responsible by having the condoms (even if not actually using them yet). However he is under age and I wonder if / how much he has thought about consent, and suggest you might forward the excellent TVP video on tea and consent which clearly explains it in an easy-to-understand format. Best that he ensures he is in a consensual relationship when he does.
I suggest just ask if he's seen this yet, and send him the link, I do know it does the rounds at school (we are TVP area)