AIBU to feel really unsettled after finding condoms in my 15 year old’s room

And until those few months are up, anyone those few months older can be charged with statutory rape if they have sex with him. Whether or not you think there's anything wrong with it is irrelevant - that outcome can happen and it needs explaining to him. It's brilliant, mature, responsible and considerate that he's using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STDs, but it's still a conversation that needs to be had. Sex is very rarely a one-dimensional, single-issue thing.

15 year old boys keep condoms in bedside drawers for lots of reasons, and being sexually active with a girl is only one such. It could be a hangover from sex ed. class, a determination to be prepared, curiosity, bravado buying them when with his friends, bravado stealing them with friends, an opportunity to acquire them without embarrassment such as being at a vending machine when no-one else is around, a preference for posh wanking, or just wanting to give the impression he's sexually active - which for a virgin teen can be extremely compelling.

Leave him to it.

He's being responsible, and it doesn't necessarily mean he's using them. I bought some at his age, it was years later before I actually lost my virginity though. I'm really open with my kids so I'd probably just ask if they had any serious relationships going on or something, to see if a conversation would be started, though I wouldn't say I'd found their condoms.

I’m a millennial and half my year were at it in year 11. It could be because we lived rurally and we had naff else more to do. I can’t speak for the younger generation though.

What happened to me was I was unloading the drier and ended up with a condom in my hand ! I was like eew. I didn't mention it

The age when teenagers having sex seems get younger every decade

For the last 30 or 40 years, the age at which teenagers start having sex is getting older with each generation, not younger.

Millennials and Gen Zs, on average, lose their virginity later than their parents' generations did.

And creepy. Almost fell off my chair when I read it.

What would you do if this was a daughter rather than a son?

Guess we have to disagree and OP appears to not be keen on it either.
The time immemorial argument isnt a great one for me. Teen pregnancies have also been going on for millennia. Yes, he is using condoms, but they can fail. No need to give him a medal for that

I would feel unsettled too OP - it’s a huge shift knowing/thinking your child is having sex.

It is good he has condoms - however, my view is that 15 is still young and it’s important you speak to him, especially about consent and the law.

Teenagers have been having sex at this age since time immemorial. Its natural, and they absolutely are mature enough for it.

She’s just setting the scene. Why be so obstinate?!

I think you’re doing so well to be reflective as a mum, and this is a complex situation. As a mum of two girls, I tried to keep sex discussions on the table and have an open attitude. Consequently they explored with me whether to start having sex with their boyfriends and other issues that came up in relationships. But girls might be more open to it than boys. I’ve always tried to have an open, non- judgmental approach and they told me they could discuss anything with me. I think opening a gentle discussion with your son is the way forward and giving him a forum for thinking about things without judging is best.

Could not disagree more. Get involved at this age. 15 year olds are too stupid for sex

I understand your thinking in terms of legality and of course because you feel he’s young for his age group but it is also not unusual for them to be having sex at this age.
youre his mum, he’s 15, there’s no harm in saying you found condoms, I would say it to my kids and just ask generally how they are, if they want to talk about it, who it is etc but without any interrogation or panic, keep an open dialogue with teens but respect privacy and boundaries

Stop being an overly involved parent. Its unhealthy for you and him.

He's not a child, he's a teenager. Stop trying to baby him. He's being safe. You can't ask fir more than that.

Has his father had the man talk with him yet? The age when teenagers having sex seems get younger every decade.

You will have to trust him.

All the best.
😻
X

good point

15 is a pivotal age for boys and girls when it comes to sex. They're very tuned in at that age.
In your shoes I would be checking in with him to ensure he's ok with it all and if he needs additional advice.

I'd be curious about who his girlfriend/partners are but wanting to meet them might be a bit much especially if they are seeing each other casually. She might not want to meet his parents. Maybe if they were in a relationship and 'public' about it I'd be more inclined to ask to meet. I think it's ok to be private about these things

Sorry, just read your last post about him having a gf apologies

Sorry, I have misquoted you. Someone else brought morals into it .I agree there's no need to normalise sex at 15 because everyone is doing it.

Its not immoral.
Just unwise, IMO.