AIBU to leave tutor and 9-year-old to work at kitchen table?

I guess it depends on the behavioural problems?

my Dd has a maths tutor and the set up is exactly as you’ve described. However, I know my Dd will be well behaved & well mannered - much better behaved than she would be if she was doing maths with me 😂

it would be a different story if I didn’t trust her to behave. A tutor isn’t like a teacher in the way that they’re there purely to teach for an hour. Unlike teachers in a class, the tutor is there to educate only - they’re not responsible for discipline and/or correcting their behaviour

I used to private tutor kids from around age 9. What you're proposing would be fine. Some families I worked with kids in their bedrooms or a study. Some I used the kitchen table. Parents usually made themselves scarce. I had a DBS check and preferred the parents but hovering.

I'd have preferred the parent to discuss any behavioural problems and management strategies with me before the lesson and to have a plan for check in afterwards.

My daughter has a maths tutor but they meet online. Shes autistic and has situational mutism so I found a woman who has experience with that. First couple sessions I was there to talk but slowly inched my way out of the room. She does it all herself now and I just get on with whatever I’m doing (it’s Sunday mornings so endless laundry usually!)

I think kids do much better without their parent right there in most instances.

I offer a drink, have a quick chat and then leave them to it - I need to finish work, as the tutor arrives at 5pm. It has never been a problem.

I'm sure she calculated her rate. Don't worry about it.

It may not suit her for kids to go to her house. My kids have had lessons in tutor's houses where the tutor is sharing a house with others. It can be difficult to block off the kitchen or living room and its obviously inappropriate to do a lesson in a bedroom/office

In some instances, it suits the tutors more to teach in the kid's house.

We have done both, had a tutor to our house and also (currently) drop off at tutors house. When our tutor came to our house my son was younger than yours is now and we left them to it and she debriefed me at the end. She is presumably experienced at dealing with children so I’m sure they will be fine!

How much is she charging? I am a maths gcse, a level and uni entrance exam tutor and charge £50ph for students coming to my home. I’m in SE England and these rates are on the low side for my 20+ years experience.

I would say that, as long as you have had a chat with the tutor beforehand about your child’s specific needs and potential triggers, then you trust in their experience of dealing with sen students, and leave them to do the lesson alone. By all means, be available in another part of the house if needed but, if the tutor has enough experience, this shouldn’t be necessary.

I’ve taught so many Sen students over the years and, tbh, a parent in the room actually doesn’t help when I’m working with a student. Most of the time, they can never resist intervening 🤣

My 16 year old ds gas a tutor, he comes to our house, I set up the kitchen table, I say hi then go out shopping and let them get on with it.

Tutors are usually only there for an hour. A glass of water is fine. They aren’t there to eat. Your child should definitely be ready to work.
@Catlady007007 is 100%.

OP, your plan sounds fine. Be near enough to hear whats going on, particularly in the first class, but not “breathing down their neck”.

Two glasses of water? What, no hard tack?

Yeah, I guess one shouldn't spoil the help @Catlady007007

I wouldn't linger, just let the tutor get on with teaching. Maybe a few quick words at the end. Offer a drink, but ours preferred to bring their own bottle.

Yes, I thought some tutors might like more than the one biscuit that everyone's stipulated so far 😄

We’ve only ever had tutors come to ours in special circumstances. None of these involved my mother hanging about, she’d only be in the way.

Normally we just went to the tutor’s house and later when I was in uni, to a local café.

Yep this is what I did.

lots of great advice on here. I will add just one thing. Don’t hover. It’s so distracting.

Quick hello, pleasantries and share anything the tutor needs to know relevant to the lesson. Then do the “Shall I pop into the living room and let you get on with it?”. She will tell you if she wants you to stay.

It sounds absolutely fine OP.

Set up the area - laptop, books, pens.
Leave out two glasses of water.
Make sure your child has been to the bathroom and is ready to work by the arranged time.

Welcome the tutor and show them the working space and where the bathroom is. Then explain that you will be busy doing things around the house and to just call out if they need anything. Leave and close the kitchen door.

My daughter is 9 and has a tutor. But we go to her house and I just leave them to it. It’s been the best thing for her. Her confidence has rocketed.

I worked as a private tutor for many years.
Don’t worry about her coming to you rather than vice versa; that’s completely normal. And working at the kitchen table will be perfect. Offering a drink and some biscuits is always nice. A chat at the start if you want to tell/ explain/ ask anything, and then leave them to it.

Very different age so maybe not helpful but I had a tutor during 6th form and we were just left to it. Think mum got him a coffee and a biscuit at the start.

My dc tutor and piano teacher we take to them, so I think both options are common.
I have a busy loud household so suits us all round to take the children there and i think helps them focus more in that specific environment away from home.

I had a tutor for 3 years for my then junior age child. She came to the house. Quick chit chat, then left them to it in the dining room whilst I went upstairs and younger brother played in his room for the hour. Son would call me down when done, 3 mins or so of showing the work and pleasantries, and off she went. My son would offer her a drink and a biscuit every week so I left them to it. My son also has behaviour issues (asd and adhd) and on occasion would get cross and start shouting. She dealt with it like a pro (well, she was I suppose 🤣). Occasionally I'd get involved if he stomped off, or it was more than a minor shout.
I miss her. She was fab. But my son started high school and the longer day due to transport (out at 7.20, home at 4.20) meant he could no longer cope with the extra work. He already felt he was losing 3 hours a day of "his time" and refused to add any more to his day 😫

Yes have any stationary and books already out and set up. And offer a drink. Sounds like it will be fine 🙂

I had a tutor for my DD then. I asked my DD if she wanted me to stick around as she’s shy. She did. So I let tutor know I was going to sit in. DD only wanted me there for the first two sessions, as her and tutor really hit it off. After that, I just let them get on with it.

Editing to add, that my DD’s tutor and piano teacher always came to our home.