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AIBU?

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AIBU to refuse aunt’s FWB claim on her estate?

110 replies

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 19:54

I am wondering if I am actually being unreasonable here. I obviously don't think I am but this could end up in court and I am worried.

I am executor for my Aunt's estate. She had no children herself but lived close to me and my sister and always considered us as hers. We actually lived with her for some years. Anyway as she was getting older she decided to sell most of her investments and buy a house in my name as an alternative way of investing hoping to avoid inheritance tax. The intent was always that half the value was my sisters but for other reasons she couldn't be on the deeds.

In the last few years of her life she reconnected with an old uni flame and asked me if he could stay in the house for a bit. I never really considered it mine so felt that if that's what she wanted then of course it should happen. She would visit him some of the time sort of FWB. She went out of her way to tell me that the house was for me and my sister and this changed nothing. She also told me ge wasn't in her will as she wanted us to inherit.

Unfortunately after a fairly short illness (6 months) during which she lived with me she died.

The FWB chap is now claiming he is her dependant and has a right to her estate. My lawyers tell me that legally his case is very weak and if he does contest the will they think that they can get it thrown out without even going to a full hearing as he is refusing to disclose vital information.

Am I in the wrong though? My Aunt would be devastated at the trouble this is causing.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 18/03/2026 21:51

Try not to die in the next few weeks OP otherwise your executor might find out you had a dependent for whom you need to have made reasonable provision.

Anewerforest · 18/03/2026 21:46

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:02

So atm my solicitor is just responding when his solicitor writes. He has a few months left that he can officially challenge the will. So really it is a waiting game. Will he actually go to court?

It just takes its toll though and means that my accounts must be absolutely immaculate.

Such a pain for you.
Another angle: might your aunt have wanted him to have something? She must have been fond of him and cared for him a bit, to do what shr did. Suppose you offered him 10K in recognition of their relationship provided he leaves you alone?

Pessismistic · 18/03/2026 21:42

Op he’s a cheeky fucker where is his grief for her he probably only came back to her as she was getting on he might have planned to get her to marry him then he would have been entitled to everything. Just hold your nerve don’t give him anything your aunt was clear about that if she had wanted him to have anything she would have told you and your sister. He’s obviously a con artist trying his hand your solicitor will sort him out. Greedy bastard.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:42

LadyLapsang · 18/03/2026 21:28

Did your Aunt own a home of her own as well as the house she placed into your name? If not, did she pay you rent to live in the house she bought in your name?

Yes she did

OP posts:
LadyLapsang · 18/03/2026 21:28

Did your Aunt own a home of her own as well as the house she placed into your name? If not, did she pay you rent to live in the house she bought in your name?

Zilla1 · 18/03/2026 21:20

That appears helpful. Good luck.

Given the totality of your posts, do you think he knows you use MN? If it's a risk, might it be helpful to ask for the thread to be pulled as it feels mightily specific?

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:16

Thats basically his argument that my Aunt's was providing housing for him. I have stated that it was something I did as a favour for her. We also have evidence that he knew it was me who was his "landlord" not my Aunt although he claimed otherwise.

Edited to add. Very little TV recently but I do like a guilty sort your life out now and then.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 18/03/2026 21:12

HNRTT and the following might not make sense but as you 'legally' own the property then presumably you continue to assert you allowed him to stay as a favour to your aunt, initially for a short period though this stretched out by her unfortunate illness?

It would be interesting to see him set out in a coherent claim how what appears to be solely your financial favour to him then leads to a dependant status that supports a claim on your aunt's other property and estate.

Has he any evidence that the property is a gift with reservation that should remain part of your aunt's estate and hence it was your aunt who allowed him to stay in what was in substance still her property hence your aunt was subsidising him with notional rent? If not then it might be helpful to avoid 'muddying' the waters - when you say 'she said he could stay for a few months', do you really mean 'she asked you her niece and you agreed to help her friend as a favour to her and let her tell hm rather than tell him yourself to spare his pride'? if that makes sense? Otherwise it might look like she was subsidising his life with notional rent and support his claim for reasonable financial provision due to apparent dependence?

FWIW, he may well be looking for a payoff. As an aside, have you seen any decent TV recently to take your mind off things? I saw a program presented by, I'm not sure, Nigel Havers?

I'm sorry for your loss and the annoyance.

Everybodys · 18/03/2026 21:06

You're not in the wrong. It would also be fine if you wanted to shove him a few quid to get him to fuck off quietly.

Triskellion75 · 18/03/2026 21:05

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:02

So atm my solicitor is just responding when his solicitor writes. He has a few months left that he can officially challenge the will. So really it is a waiting game. Will he actually go to court?

It just takes its toll though and means that my accounts must be absolutely immaculate.

He won't. He's fucking at it.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:04

Gymnopedie · 18/03/2026 20:51

Am I in the wrong though? My Aunt would be devastated at the trouble this is causing.

Given how firm she was about you and your sister inheriting, I think she'd be rather more devastated if he got anything.

Probably true. I know she would be really upset that this means that I haven't been able to use her money for IVF. She wanted to pay for me as she was so invested in the idea of me giving her a grand niece. She wanted to be part of it when my DH and I realised we would need treatment.

OP posts:
Triskellion75 · 18/03/2026 21:04

I wouldn't be giving him a bloody penny, the cheeky old rat! Absolute chancer

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:02

Anewerforest · 18/03/2026 20:49

The house is yours so at least you have that.
Could you just do nothing now, and wait for him to actually put his case, then deal with it? Take some time to grieve?

So atm my solicitor is just responding when his solicitor writes. He has a few months left that he can officially challenge the will. So really it is a waiting game. Will he actually go to court?

It just takes its toll though and means that my accounts must be absolutely immaculate.

OP posts:
Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 21:00

SheSaidHummingbird · 18/03/2026 20:58

You need to hit hard with your rejection of his claims. Find the strength now, nip it in bud, whack him with a watertight rebuttal and you'll have no further trouble from him. It must be awful for you, but fight now and grieve in total peace when it's done.

Fortunately my solicitor is great. They are whacking him down each time in a very thorough way.

OP posts:
SheSaidHummingbird · 18/03/2026 20:58

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:43

My sister would be with you. I am reluctant to spend yet more on solicitors.

I just want to be able to grieve in peace.

You need to hit hard with your rejection of his claims. Find the strength now, nip it in bud, whack him with a watertight rebuttal and you'll have no further trouble from him. It must be awful for you, but fight now and grieve in total peace when it's done.

Gymnopedie · 18/03/2026 20:51

Am I in the wrong though? My Aunt would be devastated at the trouble this is causing.

Given how firm she was about you and your sister inheriting, I think she'd be rather more devastated if he got anything.

Anewerforest · 18/03/2026 20:49

The house is yours so at least you have that.
Could you just do nothing now, and wait for him to actually put his case, then deal with it? Take some time to grieve?

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:49

Scout2016 · 18/03/2026 20:46

Was he paying any rent? Or living there for nothing?

Who are the letters from - has he got someone legally qualified sending letters for him? Surely not!

it doesn't matter if he has 10p or £100,000 he was never her responsibility and he's certainly not yours. Not married, not in living together in a relationship, own nothing together, not related. Cheeky bastard. He's a grown man, how is he not embarrassed to be saying he has nothing and is her dependent like he's a child????

Sorry OP, you shouldn't have to deal with this nonsense and stress at an already difficult time.

He wasn't paying rent. Basically she said he could stay for a few months (it was let on a very casual basis) and that just sort of lengthened and then when she was ill I didn't have the heads pace to deal with it.

I probably should have sorted it then but...

OP posts:
Scout2016 · 18/03/2026 20:46

Was he paying any rent? Or living there for nothing?

Who are the letters from - has he got someone legally qualified sending letters for him? Surely not!

it doesn't matter if he has 10p or £100,000 he was never her responsibility and he's certainly not yours. Not married, not in living together in a relationship, own nothing together, not related. Cheeky bastard. He's a grown man, how is he not embarrassed to be saying he has nothing and is her dependent like he's a child????

Sorry OP, you shouldn't have to deal with this nonsense and stress at an already difficult time.

Ohnobackagain · 18/03/2026 20:45

You are not being unreasonable @Sleepneededprettyplease he sounds like a serial cock lodger after what three divorces? Stand your ground/don’t offer him a penny. The bare-faced cheek of some people.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:43

aurynne · 18/03/2026 20:40

Another vote for him wanting a cheeky handout to disappear from your lives.

Personally I would take him to court for harrassment and fraudulent impersonation (her is trying to impersonate your autie's partner) and try to get as much off him as possible, so he is discouraged from doing this to others.

My sister would be with you. I am reluctant to spend yet more on solicitors.

I just want to be able to grieve in peace.

OP posts:
Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:41

JohnofWessex · 18/03/2026 20:35

If he were to go to court either ask the court to strike it out OR for directions that he replies to your questions

I think that it is striking out that my solicitor is talking about.

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Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:40

Cherrysoup · 18/03/2026 20:35

How long has he been in the house? Court can tell him to leave but he may not. Have you-presumably-gone the eviction route as a court is involved? You may, unfortunately, need to involve bailiffs to remove him. You should be present to ensure he doesn’t take anything that isn’t his. Once he’s out, he has 3 weeks I think it is, to remove anything he owns.

Not sure what process you’ve used to remove him, but if he proves resistant, you can use this (if he has a tenancy, not sure of the legal route if he (I’m assuming) doesn’t. https://www.nrla.org.uk/resources/ending-your-tenancy/applying-to-court-after-serving-a-section-21-accelerated-possession?irclickid=33oU1j0jaxyZTI3TwCw9OUPbUkuwwEVE2VJbWg0&irpid=10078&irgwc=1&afsrc=1&utm_source=affiliates&utm_medium=affiliates

Thanks. I cannot be there when he is due to leave but I do fear it may be bailiffs in the end.

OP posts:
aurynne · 18/03/2026 20:40

Another vote for him wanting a cheeky handout to disappear from your lives.

Personally I would take him to court for harrassment and fraudulent impersonation (her is trying to impersonate your autie's partner) and try to get as much off him as possible, so he is discouraged from doing this to others.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:40

Fluffyholeysocks · 18/03/2026 20:35

Do you think he wants a payoff in order to drop his claim on the estste?

Probably. My lawyer says that until he answers the financial questions we shouldn't do it.

OP posts:
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