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AIBU?

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AIBU to refuse aunt’s FWB claim on her estate?

110 replies

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 19:54

I am wondering if I am actually being unreasonable here. I obviously don't think I am but this could end up in court and I am worried.

I am executor for my Aunt's estate. She had no children herself but lived close to me and my sister and always considered us as hers. We actually lived with her for some years. Anyway as she was getting older she decided to sell most of her investments and buy a house in my name as an alternative way of investing hoping to avoid inheritance tax. The intent was always that half the value was my sisters but for other reasons she couldn't be on the deeds.

In the last few years of her life she reconnected with an old uni flame and asked me if he could stay in the house for a bit. I never really considered it mine so felt that if that's what she wanted then of course it should happen. She would visit him some of the time sort of FWB. She went out of her way to tell me that the house was for me and my sister and this changed nothing. She also told me ge wasn't in her will as she wanted us to inherit.

Unfortunately after a fairly short illness (6 months) during which she lived with me she died.

The FWB chap is now claiming he is her dependant and has a right to her estate. My lawyers tell me that legally his case is very weak and if he does contest the will they think that they can get it thrown out without even going to a full hearing as he is refusing to disclose vital information.

Am I in the wrong though? My Aunt would be devastated at the trouble this is causing.

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JohnofWessex · 19/03/2026 22:37

As the occupant he is liable for Council Tax and utilities

stichguru · 19/03/2026 22:36

So sorry you have had to go through this. Your aunt bothered and was physically and mentally able to tell you 3 times that she everything was coming to you in her will. I therefore see NO REASON whatsoever that she wouldn't have been able to tell you what she wanted to go to her friend, AND change her will to match if that's what she wanted! He'd have to prove that she wanted to change her will and couldn't, wouldn't he?

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 22:22

Yes but we have a court decree that he has to leave. His only avenue now it the dependent thing

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Badbadbunny · 19/03/2026 19:51

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 17:54

His name. He has paid all utilities and council tax etc.

Unfortunately that may muddy the waters a bit as it makes his occupancy "official" to an extent rather than him just being a temporary visitor.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 18:43

They are in his name as it was an informal tenancy type thing. Her name isn't on that house mine is. Her council and utilities have been informed of her death.

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Lennonjingles · 19/03/2026 18:34

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 17:54

His name. He has paid all utilities and council tax etc.

Does your Solicitor know this, has he put these into his name or does he just pay them. Council and utilities should be informed of her death.

CowTown · 19/03/2026 18:15

😳

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 17:54

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 19/03/2026 17:40

Who's name is the utility bills in? Tell them aunt is dead and to cut off all supplies..

His name. He has paid all utilities and council tax etc.

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Zanatdy · 19/03/2026 17:50

What a cheek. He won’t have a chance in hell of winning that.

Everybodys · 19/03/2026 17:45

So he thinks a house your aunt didn't own and that he was living in without a formal legal agreement counts as part of her estate? Quite the chancer!

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 19/03/2026 17:40

Who's name is the utility bills in? Tell them aunt is dead and to cut off all supplies..

SardinesOnButteredToast · 19/03/2026 17:37

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 07:48

She asked if he could stay after his last relationship broke down. They had been good friends at uni (I think she fancied him then) but lost contact. She mentioned reconnecting as friends after a reunion about 4 years ago and emailed intermittently for a couple of years.

2 and a half years ago they were meeting up more and his other relationship ended maybe 6 months later.

He moved in to the house on a temporary but ill defined bases at that point and about a year later she became ill. So he has lived there about 18 months and I am sure he is upset by her death.

That doesn't mean I am responsible for housing him.

Literally didn't say that it did.

Sally2791 · 19/03/2026 13:56

Disgusting man.

ConstanzeMozart · 19/03/2026 13:52

I agree with pps that you should basically leave it to your solicitor until he runs out of time.
And ask your solicitor to keep their time and costs down.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 12:11

PrettyPickle · 19/03/2026 10:14

Did he know you technically owned the house and not your Aunt when he was living there and prior to your late Aunts death?

Yes. It was made very clear and we can prove he knew that. He signed a document to that effect.

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Everybodys · 19/03/2026 10:23

PrettyPickle · 19/03/2026 10:14

Did he know you technically owned the house and not your Aunt when he was living there and prior to your late Aunts death?

Also my question!

PrettyPickle · 19/03/2026 10:14

Did he know you technically owned the house and not your Aunt when he was living there and prior to your late Aunts death?

Ophy83 · 19/03/2026 08:11

Trust your lawyer on this one. He wasn't your aunt 's dependent - he was actually living in your house with your permission.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 07:48

SardinesOnButteredToast · 19/03/2026 07:06

Alternative view: I wouldn't give a shag buddy free accommodation in a house I owned for a number of years and just occasionally visit. Your Aunt may have been bonkers, but it sounds like this man, who you say was involved with her for not months but YEARS, may have meant more to her than you conveniently want to narrate whilst you're busy making sure he can get his mitts on your cash.

Possibly he MAY actually have cared, have a pretty long term commitment to your aunt and be bothered heartbroken and facing homelessness. Now none of this gives him any legal claim, but the depiction of him as some money grubbing fly by night just doesn't sit with the story of a man whom your aunt wished to accommodate for some years.

She asked if he could stay after his last relationship broke down. They had been good friends at uni (I think she fancied him then) but lost contact. She mentioned reconnecting as friends after a reunion about 4 years ago and emailed intermittently for a couple of years.

2 and a half years ago they were meeting up more and his other relationship ended maybe 6 months later.

He moved in to the house on a temporary but ill defined bases at that point and about a year later she became ill. So he has lived there about 18 months and I am sure he is upset by her death.

That doesn't mean I am responsible for housing him.

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Elsvieta · 19/03/2026 07:48

Sleepneededprettyplease · 18/03/2026 20:27

He says that he is her dependent and he cant afford to support himself. He is ignoring all of our questions about what he has done with his money as we have evidence that he had a substantial sum less than 3 years ago.

He did try to claim he was her common law husband and that they lived together but we could disprove that. She spent less than 8 weeks a year visiting him.

There's no such thing in UK law as a common-law spouse. Ignore, don't engage. If he wants to take legal action leave your lawyer to deal with everything; have no direct contact at all. He has no claim and your solicitor will soon send him packing.

Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 07:41

Yes in the UK. Apparently it would have been a bit different if they had been cohabiting but we were able to prove that she didn't spend even a quarter of her time there. The common law husband thing was I think him just trying it on.

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Sleepneededprettyplease · 19/03/2026 07:39

JuliettaCaeser · 19/03/2026 06:03

If she was living in the house surely the reservation of benefit rules mean it was still part of her estate for IHT purposes anyway? Though legally yours.

She wasn't living i the house but because it was under 7 years inheritance tax has duly been paid.

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SardinesOnButteredToast · 19/03/2026 07:06

Alternative view: I wouldn't give a shag buddy free accommodation in a house I owned for a number of years and just occasionally visit. Your Aunt may have been bonkers, but it sounds like this man, who you say was involved with her for not months but YEARS, may have meant more to her than you conveniently want to narrate whilst you're busy making sure he can get his mitts on your cash.

Possibly he MAY actually have cared, have a pretty long term commitment to your aunt and be bothered heartbroken and facing homelessness. Now none of this gives him any legal claim, but the depiction of him as some money grubbing fly by night just doesn't sit with the story of a man whom your aunt wished to accommodate for some years.

Namingbaba · 19/03/2026 06:51

Are you in the UK? You mentioned he tried to claim to be a common law husband but that’s not a thing here.

I understand it’s worrying receiving letters from him but I’d trust your solicitor. It does sound a very weak case.

ChaToilLeam · 19/03/2026 06:07

I'd be concerned that he would somehow damage the house or remove items of value. Don't know the legal implications but I'd be tempted to move in with a kazoo and a banjo.