AIBU not wanting to use annual leave for stepdaughter’s childcare cover?

I'd be interested to know what the "treatment" is that the other nan is having, and if it can be moved to a day that SD isn't working. She is part time after all. Was it not possible to arrange the treatment on a day that she isn't needed to help with childcare? I'm sure that's what most grandparents who have committed to a regular childcare responsibility would try to do.

If it wasn't possible to swap then the next thing would be to ask the child's mother if they could swap their shift/take a day's leave so that the appointment could go ahead.

It really astounds me that instead OP would be approached to take her OWN annual leave from a FT job to sort all this out.

We can take parental/dependents leave for a day or two if no childcare or child is ill etc, but yes they would definitely ask questions if it was a regular occurrence. I work for the NHS and have been told it’s pro rata, depending on how many days you work. I’m 4 days p/w and ended up using 7.5 days of this kind of leave. Maybe it’s just an NHS thing? Or maybe I’ve completely misunderstood, it’s a possibility 😭

Exactly! It seems some people think OP should though!

Don't feel guilty, you have used up all your leave.

I actually find it cheeky that’s she’s asked you to take annual leave - without attempting to take some herself.

I could understand if her request had already been denied. But even then she would be entitled to parental leave.

Statutory entitlement to time off for family & dependents is for emergencies only, and specifically not for things you know about in advance (like a planned operation for example). Its also unpaid. There is no limit on amount (don't know where you got that 'pro rata' calculation from) but employers will start asking questions if you have a lot of 'emergencies'.

Parental Leave must be taken in week blocks so won't help for a single day.

Step daughter's employer might offer some additional paid contractual time off for dependent leave but if she is asking for OP's help then she's either used it up or they don't have that as a benefit.

SD should take leave, why is she expecting you to lose a day of AL? You seem to be implying that she swings a sickie when it suits, can’t she do this for the one required day or better yet, take a carer’s day? I believe we have up to 6 weeks of carer’s leave in my job.

Well, OP works FT and her stepdaughter doesn't. So I don't see how you've come to the conclusion that stepdaughter has more on her plate....She's got more time than OP!

I think SD should ask to swap her shifts, or ask for dependency leave.

OP, What about SD's other grandad? Can't he do anything? Or is he working and because he's a man she can't possibly ask him?

No YANBU. I can't imagine any circumstances where I'd have asked anyone else to take annual leave to look after my child so that I didn't have to take annual leave to do so.

It's unreasonable to expect any other adult to do this, family or not.

@crazycatladyof6 is working, that should have been enough of an answer for step daughter to arrange to take time off herself to look after her child. Expecting someone else to take AL to look after your child is entitlement.

She's going to have to think of a way of how she is going to cover the school holidays going forwards, her mum might not be around forever and it sounds like she relies a LOT on her mum for childcare.

Who is WORKING and she expects her to take AL instead of taking time off herself to care for her own child. Stepmother isn't available.

Yanbu. Your stepdaughter will have to take AL or unpaid parental leave. It’s not your responsibility and you definitely shouldn’t have to use precious AL.

So in your opinion parents should never ask grandparents for one off babysitting? What, ever?

Nothing the OP has said has given any indication that the stepdaughter is going to be pissy if they say no, she's just asked the question.

I haven’t read all the comments but she should get some carers/dependents leave I should think? It’s pro rata and I believe it’s two weeks of whatever your normal working week is. E.g you work 24 hours over 3 days, so you get 6 days per year etc. It’s paid and totally separate to annual leave. There’s also emergency leave. What does your stepdaughter do?

Why would you need to take a whole days annual leave if it’s just to drop her off and/pick up?

Cant one of you (her/you/DH) start early and one start late that day so you can cover the 1.5/2 hrs she needs?

As a single working mum, I don’t think she’s unreasonable to hope you’d help out. I know you work full time but she has a lot more on her plate than you do now and I do think grandparents should be prepared to pick up some of the tough bits and not just the fun stuff. Especially if their parent is doing it single-handedly, you’re her village.

But I’m also surprised her work can’t be more accommodating.

So you use up precious annual leave instead of her ? Why should you do that ?
Really selfish of her to request this .
Imagine asking someone else to give up a day of holiday so you don't have to !!

It has been established that he gets 25 days plus the Christmas and NY bank holidays so he is getting the statutory minimum.

Why can't just one of you or your husband have her? Why would you both have to take AL?

You know YANBU.
nursery extra day?

I think it’s up to the mum to sort her annual leave for her dd it’s a bit cheeky asking you to give up your holidays for childcare when you obviously do a lot for them. She asked and you just have to be honest and say we don’t have the annual leave available right now.

Surely SD, the child’s mother, should use her own leave!

She does have someone. Her stepmom who’s been in her life since she was 2 years old and apparently loves her like she was her own…