AIBU not wanting to use annual leave for stepdaughter’s childcare cover?

Confused
why are you calling your husband’s daughter your step daughter yet I take it the child in question is the stap daughter’s daughter, so not your granddaughter, but your husband’s granddaughter??

She is entitled to take parental leave but I think you need to give 21 days notice, it can however be declined for up to six months if her employer can prove a business need and it is usually unpaid.

This is not your job to fix though.

She'll be able to request unpaid parental leave

Parental leave then. Or swap shifts. Or have an unpaid day off.

If you’ve run out of annual leave that’s the perfect excuse!

Of course YANBU. Stepdaughter should use her own leave, in fact she’s a CF even asking you. Obviously if you didn’t work then you should (and I’m sure you would) be happy to help, but no way should you be expected to use annual leave for this.

Of course she has. Her AL is for holidays, yours is for helping her out. CF.

If the child is under 5, I think she can request parental leave. It's not paid but she should be able to take time off to care for her child. There are certain rules about it but no idea what they are.

I would do it. Single parenting is ridiculously hard & exhausting and she will be keeping days aside for the school holidays and the child being sick. I wouldn’t do it every week but as a one off, I would. Especially if her mum was getting medical treatment.

She must take annual leave herself and look after her own child. Or arrange temporary care with a nursery or childminder. But all the same I don't think its unreasonable to ask you for one days childcare. But multiple days certainly not.

So same as you then

both used

she will have to take it unpaid

What a stupid post.

They play their part. They take their granddaughter on holiday. They clearly help in other ways or they wouldn’t even consider doing this. It’s not going to work this time, that’s fine.

Only on MN would saying a reasonable no to a reasonable request involving people who care for each other become ‘not being a village’. What a massive chip on the shoulder one would have to have to be able to spin it this way.

This woman has a supportive mum and a supportive dad and stepmum. That’s good, it will save her a lot of angst and difficulty, but it doesn’t mean every problem will be solved for the next 14 years, as all those supportive people also have their own lives.

I’ve not got family nearby to help. I either had to use annual leave, swap shifts or take parental leave. Parental leave is for all parents with children under 18 but it is unpaid.

I think in the interests of helping I’d tell her I can do a day or two but not until April as that’s when your new leave year starts. I’d encourage her dad to do the same and then she can take some leave herself.
It just seems a bit mean to give a flat no when you could offer a little help.

Her work is not more important than your work. YANBU.

Some of these replies are pretty crazy

OP only you can decide if you think you are being unreasonable or not here in the scenario

however I know for a fact my parent, step parents, parents in law etc would all do anything they can to help
as long as it’s not an every day regular occurance I don’t see the problem.
Do you have something planned for your annual leave outside grand daughter?
You could take the day and make a lovely special day out of it together

its extremely hard for working mums, even more so if no dad in the picture

I think it is a bit mean actually to not help at all. You could do one day and take grandaughter out somewhere lovely to have a great day together, which hardly sounds the end of the world. It sounds like her mum is struggling trying to balance everything.

Also, unless I've missed something it sounds like your dh gets a pretty standard amount of days, not sure why you keep saying he gets so little.

No I don’t wouldn’t either

my dh is retired and has a grandson ( toddler) and we both agreed that he wouldn’t get roped into being a fixed babysitter so that they could work / go out save on child care fees

They have hinted but we have just said you wouldn’t like it if we had to cancel

as an emergency possibly but we live around 30 mins drive away

we go away a lot on holidays and we have a dog and out house is long past being toddler friendly

The OP has already updated to say it's multiple days.

Parents with young children are entitled to unpaid leave, if she's struggling with temporary childcare or a child is unwell etc.

Why can't the mum take annual leave to cover it? If she's not enough days she needs to take unpaid parental leave. I wouldn't be using my leave to look after someone else's child when they aren't even related to me, it really isn't your problem. It's up to her mum to sort an alternative.

I think you’re being a bit mean not helping her out for one day. Presumably she uses her AL to look after her dc when nursery is closed or whatever.