Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not wanting to use annual leave for stepdaughter’s childcare cover?

285 replies

crazycatladyof6 · 18/03/2026 19:20

Hello everyone, I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable. There’s a part of me thinks I am so wanted to know what others think. My husband and I have a granddaughter who we absolutely adore. We both work full-time and my husband actually doesn’t get much annual leave at all. It’s a bit of a problem. My stepdaughter works part-time 24 hours a week and our granddaughter goes to nursery on the days when her mum is at work and her other Nan who is very local collects her until Mum is home. She also takes her to nursery school in the morning. Unfortunately, my stepdaughter‘s mum needs to have some treatment and my stepdaughter has asked if we will have our granddaughter so she can go to work. This will mean that we will have to take annual leave to be able to have our granddaughter. One of the days I actually can’t do anyway because I’m already on annual leave for something that’s been booked for about eight months and then the other day I’m at work as is my husband and I’ve actually run out of annual leave at present. it does reset in April so I could take an annual leave day and this is where I need to ask AIBU to not want to take an annual leave day so my stepdaughter can go to work when it’s also my working day?

OP posts:
Newyearawaits · 18/03/2026 19:27

crazycatladyof6 · 18/03/2026 19:23

If it was a weekend we’d happily have her, of course but it’s a working day. I always feel so blooming guilty

Would you feel the same if she was your daughter and not your SD?

Dobequiet · 18/03/2026 19:26

Not unreasonable to say that you can’t for any reason.

I have used leave to look after dgc but had plenty of leave and really enjoy having them.

PixelDustMom · 18/03/2026 19:26

Why can’t your stepdaughter take annual leave? If it’s April then surely she will have holidays to use, no?

crazycatladyof6 · 18/03/2026 19:25

KatieKat88 · 18/03/2026 19:23

Is there a reason why SD can't get annual leave herself (e.g. teacher, or a nurse when rotas have already been decided and can't get anyone to swap?) Or the child's father?

She does have rotas but is equally happy to call in sick if it doesn’t suit. Father not in the picture

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 18/03/2026 19:25

you don’t want to take ONE DAY annual leave to help your SD? Did I read that right?!

Overthebow · 18/03/2026 19:25

Can’t she use her own leave?

Justmuddlingalong · 18/03/2026 19:24

Can SD not use her annual leave?

KatieKat88 · 18/03/2026 19:23

Is there a reason why SD can't get annual leave herself (e.g. teacher, or a nurse when rotas have already been decided and can't get anyone to swap?) Or the child's father?

crazycatladyof6 · 18/03/2026 19:23

pinkyredrose · 18/03/2026 19:21

Of course YANBU. Stepdaughter will have to take the time off work and use her own annual leave.

If it was a weekend we’d happily have her, of course but it’s a working day. I always feel so blooming guilty

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 18/03/2026 19:21

Of course YANBU. Stepdaughter will have to take the time off work and use her own annual leave.

Swipe left for the next trending thread