Hello
Ive got two lovely little boys ages 6 and 4. I have wanted a third for a while now and go through phases of feeling at peace with sticking with two. But then Ill revert back to yearning for another baby which I’m sure would be our last and the sadness in feeling over my husband saying no is feeling overwhelming.
His reasons are that he feels our family is complete, he is enjoying getting a bit of our freedom back and time to ourselves now the boys are a bit older and easier to arrange childcare for. He also states finances as a reason because he was adamant about them going to private school so we couldn’t afford to put a third through. He also has made hints about returning to play his favourite sport which hasn’t been possible the last few years because I found it too much having the boys all day on Saturdays (when if he was at home we’d be able to share the load and get rest etc).
I just feel like some of his reasons are selfish. He’s making a life long decision based on temporary things like us having a bit more time to ourselves back.
I’ve suggested we go to counselling over it.
before anyone suggests it, I would never leave him so that I could meet someone else and have another baby. I love our family unit.
im just so sad we can’t expand it.
just to add, we had a traumatic time with our second as he needed very serious surgery as a baby. He’s absolutely fine now. I don’t think it’s a major factor in how I feel about wanting another but I do think the experience of having a “normal” newborn phase would be healing.
my husband says that what happened with our second is not a factor in him not wanting another.
advice please on how to feel better!