To be feeling low that husband doesn’t want a third

Yes, my rule with teenage DS is that he chooses activities/sports he can get himself to on public transport.

The sporting activities that they may not even want to do you mean? I never ferried mine around all weekend anywhere. We aren't slaves to their wants , parents are people too

That's not what she said at all.
In what world is it good for the DC, let alone the OP, that their father prioritises an entire day of his sport rather than spend time with them? And I say that as a huge cricket fan.
BTW - he doesn't need to be young. They're still playing into their 60s at my local club.

I think you'll feel better once you accept it's not happening and focus on the positives in your life and the children you have.

What's the alternative? Force the issue? Destroy your marriage and your children's family?

I hope DH realises that pretty soon he won't be able to do his weekend sport because he'll be ferrying the existing two to their various sports activities.

People are often very fucking mean to posters talking about their desire for a third child on MN... You've taken it very well OP! I totally understand your desire, and the sadness over no more newborn/toddler phase. I'm still coming to terms with it, it's bloody hard

I'm blown away that you can't cope with your 2 children for a whole day. If I were your husband I'd definitely say NO to a third 🙄🤣

Yes that is sad- incredibly sad. Probably devastating I imagine. I know I’m very lucky I’ve never had to experience that.

It is ‘less sad’ to accept not having a third child. Definitely a lot less sad. But still quite sad for the person in that situation at that point in time. It won’t hurt forever but the OP and others like her are allowed to be sad about it for a while.

MN is full of threads where posters are feeling sad or aggrieved for all sorts of big and small reasons.

i think if you felt that handling the two boys on your own on wknds was too difficult then I think a 3rd is a bad idea.

I am sorry for your situation but you can't use a baby to make yourself feel better about what has gone before.

This!

@Toastedteacake88 "It's like he's prioritising getting back to playing cricket whilst he's still young enough over having another member of the family!"

And I don't blame him. Believe it or not, there is actually more to life than just reproducing. Not everyone thinks that babies are the be all and end all of a happy existence.

I think it’s sad if one longs for a baby and can’t have one at all. It’s less sad when you have two healthy children but for whatever reason feel that’s not enough.

I strongly relate to this. It’s a bit paradoxical because I found the baby and toddler stage incredibly hard. But I sometimes yearn for it, even now that I’m nearly 50 and way past any possibility of having a baby. I had good pregnancies and really good births and I loved breastfeeding- I think I just found it hard to accept that I wouldn’t get to do it ever again (I did of course accept it eventually).

Don't underestimate how much you can push away your existing family by hankering after another child. I have a friend whose mother was in this situation - stopped at two when she wanted more - and they're not close at all. My friend says that she, her dad and her brother increasingly felt like they weren't good enough for her mum, and it's had a knock-on effect on all their relationships as adults.

Or if a baby boy wasn't emotionally straightforward?

OP, you are putting a LOT on imagined qualities of this child that doesn't exist.

Both of your feelings are equally valid, OP. It's really tough when there's an issue that you just can't agree on and one of you has to compromise. Just take care that you don't let resentment creep in - there's been a lot of talk about counselling here, and I'd suggest you going on your own to help you come to terms with the decision.

If it helps, we had 4 DC - the 2nd of whom was stillborn. I think I could have just kept going in truth, there would never have been a part of me that was satisfied due to our loss and the stress that came with subsequent pregnancies. And thankfully DH recognised that. Medically the decision was made for me after our 4th was born, but it took me a long time to come to terms with. I wish you well

I was once in your situation and when DH said definitely no it was absolutely heartbreaking. Longing for a baby is painful and even if it would be a ridiculous decision to have a third it still hurts.

I don’t think there really is a cure, it just gets easier over a long period of time and eventually goes away. Ignore the unkind posters, it’s sad to want something so much and not be able to have it.

He is being financially practical about the private school situation too if you can’t afford it x3.

He has reached peace though, I mean this kindly but you’re being the issue here x

I am glad my husband didn't give in to my urge and agree to a third, financially and emotionally, it would have been too much

I also have more time to devote to my two children.

Focus on your children, they are still so young and need you.

They nearly always will have primary age children because the average age of a first pregnancy is 30 and a lot of women seem to have a hormonal urge for a last baby in their late 30s and early 40s.

I can't help but notice that on threads like this, the OP nearly always has children of pre-school or primary school age, whic, IMO, is the easiest age.

Life gets much more complicated when your children are at secondary school. You can kiss and cuddle a small child to make everything better, but you can't do this with a teenager when they have been dumped by their friends, bullied or failed an exam.

Never underestimate how much a teenager needs you on an emotional level.