If potentially seeing your ex husband after 15 years, would you be sure to look good?

If it was an amicable split where we both wished each other all the best and were more or less friendly, then no, I wouldn't care how I looked.

But if it was an ex I really disliked - yes, I would want to look fucking great.

It's not really about caring what they think of you or wanting to impress them. I'd want to look good in front of a horrible ex in the same way that I'd want to look good if I bumped into a toxic ex-colleague, or someone who bullied me at school or something.

It's about not giving them the satisfaction of being able to feel superior to you. It's petty, sure, but it also makes you feel like you've 'won'.

I honestly wouldn’t care. My ex-husband’s wife is also about 3 dress sizes smaller than me but I just pity her for being with such a vile man. I know from DS that they’ve split up before and they have horrendous arguments. Plus they’ve got a shared FB page…there’s only one reason why people do that 🤔

If I bumped into my ex-husband wearing a binbag with scarecrow hair I really wouldn't care. In fact it would probably make me laugh.

That said, there is one ex. Who I still love. And we cannot be together due to matters of distance and other complications. If I ever bumped into him in person... I would want to look like a greek goddess, sleek in white, hair in curls down my back, gold jewellery glinting off my skin... and that is just the truth. Also I'm taller than him when in heels, so nice gold skyscraper sandals! And the soundtrack would be by Gwenno! Not that I have thought about it ever...

My ex told me I wouldn’t last 5 minutes without him. Yet here I am 15 years later, fittest I’ve ever been. Damn right I’ll be looking my best when I know I have to see him (rare, but it’s happened).

No, I wouldn’t give a stuff

Yes but not for him to fancy me, the fact you want thay and say how much you loved him would indicate you’ve still a thing for him.

Totally reasonable and normal.
And why not? If he knows you'll bump into each other maybe he's having the same mini angst? Do men have this?
I have a similar situation in the next couple of weeks. I'll be somewhere where he'll probably see me. I really hate myself for being a bit bothered by it too with regards to how I'll look! And worse, it's an outdoor event where I'll be working outside all day and it's likely to be chilly so I'll have a rosy chilled complexion and be wearing warm comfy clothing (not a chic fitted dress and heels with full make up 😂).
Im glad you posted this as I've been battling with my inner demons over it. To not care and just be me is my default but there are these moments when I'm like "mmmm, now how can I look together, stylish and absolutely fantastic but be wearing practical clothing and be warm?"

Yes, I think that’s natural

You want to message that you're healthy, happy and doing very nicely thank you without him. You're not going to be able to subject him to several hours of how great your life has been so your appearance needs to do the talking.
It's also a little bit nice to imagine he might think he made a mistake in treating you badly/ending it. (Even though I'm not sure they ever really think that just because you're wearing a nice dress and had your hair done, but still...)

Oh yes, but without looking like you're trying too hard! Effortlessly chic and glossy would be my ideal, unfortunately I'm a bit of a scruff and too lazy 😂

I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want him to think I was putting in any effort on his account.

I couldn’t care less what he thinks! I love my life now and my dh. Even he loves my dh!😂

I would. Probably similar effort as my usual best effort. I wouldn’t buy new clothes, get a manicure or anything.

Oh hell yes. Each and every ex strewn across time all the way back to Sticky Nicky at the school leavers dance.

It's called pride ffs! Nobody wants to look crap in front of their ex. Liars, maybe.

Omg definitely

Course I would want to look good, but I’d have to look like I wasn’t trying to look good!

100% - make sure you look tip top x

I would know I shouldn't care, but I would care and I would want to look like I had my shit together and was living an excellent life.

Yes I did, saw mine after years this year. I knew the day was coming so lost weight, wore a fabulous dress and felt great. He always said I’d end up in gutter without him whic is where he claimed he’d found me so it was important to me to prove him very wrong

Yes but in a way that it absolutely couldn’t be obvious. I’d have to look like I woke up this way, nowadays.

If I was seeing anyone for the first time in 15 years I would want to look my best. To be honest I always want to look as good as I can anyway even if I am the only one seeing me.

I always want to look good.

I would but for me, rather than any possible opinion he might have.

There is something self satisfying about looking and feeling good - especially in front of someone who didn't think highly enough of you.

The fact you are confused indicates that this is about you not him. If it was about him you'd know the reasons why without even having to think about it!

Honestly no. Some years ago I would have but I really no longer care what he thinks of me