AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

It’s one of those situations where you do a good turn and come out of it the bad guy. Just cut out the middle bit and ‘hard no’ it.
As other posters have suggested tell her it is already taken when work finished. Good luck.

It's a hard no. You dont owe her anything. Its a business not a charity.

I think it's the right decision and good for your DH saying blame him. But what reason(s) are you going to give, if any? Because this won't be the end of it, she and her flying monkeys will argue back and you need to be prepared for this to go on for some time.

Do not rent to family.. My dad rented to my sister she felt she was entitled now 10k in arrears and having to go through the eviction process and cost to get her out! Trust your gut and tell her no.

Most tenants think LL are exploiting them and I can understand that.
But this woman - a woman who is old enough to have children and presumably realises we live in a capitalist society - has expressed this belief in order to insult a family member on a regular basis.
Unlike the OP, who is clearly of a more generous disposition than me, I doubt that this woman would pay the rent.
She knows all she has to do is move in and stop paying and the 'exploitative' OP will have a hard time getting her out. I mean, why would you give money to someone who you believe is exploiting you? The woman's mindset is enough in itself to make it clear that the OP should say no as many times as she needs for this woman gets the message that she is not moving in.

She won’t kill her with kindness, she’ll create an even bigger monster that resents OP even more. Someone like that will hate the fact that she’s reliant on the charity of OP (and the power she’ll perceive OP as having over her) and will project that onto her. She won’t appreciate it.

This will not be delicious for OP. At all.

I think you've made the right decision.

Rewarding someone who treats you nastily and then has the nerve to ask for your rental for free or at a discount is just being a doormat and showing you'll tolerate being treated like shit.

This is the right decision.

You have saved yourself years of aggro.

Your rentals are your business. Don't mix business and family. Say no.

Exactly this. She's made her opinion crystal clear so best she doesnt rent eh? 😂

I'd say no because she will be a nightmare tenant.

Just say it isn't available because it is having work done which will take months and months and and you might sell it.

How do they all know so much about your properties and which are empty etc etc? I would not share any info with any relatives in this sort of family.

You will never get rid of her if you let her move in.

Please protect yourself and say no.

All these posters saying to do it for the children. They have parents to put a roof over their heads ffs! If Op let's her move in she'll never get her out!

Totally get why you wouldn't want to but for the sake of the kids I would... and I am sure she is aware of how horrible she's been to you about being landlords in the past, so it would also probably shut her up in future (she must realise how humbling this is!). I'm not usually one for the "kill them with kindness" stuff (it usually just means "put up with shit and smile") but this one does seem kind of delicious.

Definitely put all the usual legal stuff in place though (I'm sure you would) and don't give her preferential treatment.

I would knock 50 quid off the rent because she's family, you are confident she will pay. Then rent it to her and feel smug that she can't make comments anymore without looking foolish at having taken advantage of your hospitality. I would make sure she knows that you could fill it 10 X over at market rate so she knows you are doing her a massive favour and she can't spin it the other way around.

She's wanting to freeload off you. You can tell it a mile off. My DH's family are the same. I know for a fact that in a few years time my SIL will have primed her children to be all paly-paly with mine so that they could get mates rates at the place we are intending to buy for ours. They are setting the scene now. I have had words with my children and the answer will be a big fat no

Are you joking!?

This. I don't usually advocate lying but in this situation I think its the easiest way to close it all down. And when you have a suitable tennant it wll be true.

That's a good concrete excuse. Invent some drainage work for good measure. But add something like you will keep an eye out if you see anything suitable for her and you hope she finds something.

It would be a very different matter if the house was empty for the summer and she was asking to house sit whilst she found something, but even then... and there's no end in sight. The other relative suggesting you lease it to her for nothing is actually suggesting you subsidise her to the tune of 10s of thousands. Don't let them pressurise you. But also, don't discuss it any further with them. They don't know what they are talking about.

I wouldn't enter into any discussion with her or any of your family about why or what she previously said because that is just opening an whole new can of worms and I guarantee will be spread about that you are the cruel villan of the piece, kicking her when she's down - thus..."@NewNameForThisWWYD said relative was blah blah blah and refused to rent to her! Even though they had an empty house" and so on... when if you say already signed contract, you can just repeat not available.

Easier and get's you less involved to say sorry not available. If she's causing you this much stress now..and you already know her reputation, imagine what she'd be like six months in. Not grateful but entitled and difficult.

Your family knows far too much about your business, if they react like this. Start grey rocking the subject and never raise it with any of them again. Close it down with prepared phrases like "I hear what you are saying." don't give opinions when they talk about landlords etc.. this will blow over if you are steadfast about not feeding the flames.

Also. Its your DH relative and he says he doesn't want to let to them.. so let him deal with the queries. Keep well out of it.

I’m never one to side with landlords but absolutely no, she hasn’t even moved in and she’s already feeling entitled, asking for a lower rate, etc.

Just lie and say you already have it lined up for someone else. They have no way of knowing.

Don’t mix business with pleasure as they say. It will only end in tears.

If you give cheap rent surely you are actually subsidising the parents in finding appropriate housing for their kids, the "well earning" mother and the father.

Actually in this situation if you really feel that help is in order you would probably be better off making a financial contribution so they could rent somewhere else in the same area. It would be cleaner/have more separation and would save all the landlord/tenant hassle/interaction.

However don't be surprised if once you give one handout then you are on the hook for the next one, or made to look the evil party if you don't (no good deed ever goes unpunished, they will hate you for the future money your are not giving them, not thank you for the past money you did), and if you do it in terms of loan there is probably a high probability you won't see any of it back.

You shouldn’t be shocked. Mumsnet generally doesn’t encourage women to make blatantly stupid decisions, or to fall victim to (unsophisticated) emotional blackmail. Don’t think you’ll be appreciated for renting the house to her, or that she’ll like you for it. She’ll take it as something she’s owed, and if anything resent you even more for it.

Children or not, she is not your problem. This is not your problem. Do not sign up to make it your problem, because it will blow up in your face and create the very thing you seem to be fearful of.

Saying no really isn’t something you need to turn into some big event. So what if some family members don’t like you saying no? Why do you need to care about upsetting them, when they clearly don’t mind burdening and upsetting you? You’re not a doormat, so don’t assume the role
of one.

It sounds like there's going to be drama whatever your decision. Which drama would you like? That of other people not approving of your decision or the drama that will inevitably come around with actually paying the rent? What happens when you want her to move out?

@NewNameForThisWWYD I agree with most other posters here. DO NOT agree to this. Say no and don't be pressured/ emotionally blackmailed by her or other family members. This proposal has disaster written all over it.

You won't get her to move out, when the time comes, easily. You'll get flack from family members when the time comes when you need to sell the house or need her to move out for other reasons and that might be years and years down the track.

I would just bite the bullet now and stick to saying no. Mixing business and personal family affairs very rarely work out. If you say yes, i could almost be certain you will regret it