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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
skyeisthelimit · 18/03/2026 10:52

GoldAndSilverBells · 18/03/2026 10:45

I must admit, I would never rent to family (if I had a couple of spare houses and was looking for tenants.) Well, maybe our DC but that's it. Like I would never lend money to anyone (other than our DC) or recommend anyone for a job. All a bit too 'familiar' and too much of a risk...

Also, if you are renting your house to a relative, they can't claim housing benefit if they can't afford the rent for some reason. Not even part housing benefit.

As someone has said @NewNameForThisWWYD tell them you have tenants already....

sorry to interrupt, but you can rent from a family member and claim HB if you have a legal tenancy agreement and other documents and pay full market rent.

Catcatcatcatcat · 18/03/2026 10:50

Tell her you have already agreed to rent to someone else.

skyeisthelimit · 18/03/2026 10:49

100% you have to say no. Letting her move in would be the worst decision ever. Other family members can say what they like. Let them buy a house for her.

Ask yourself the question, why did you buy the house? Will letting her live in it, help you achieve that goal? If she moves in, you will have to charge full market rent, why should you lose money to help her?

She is a nightmare person already, what do you think she will be like as a tenant? Your life will be hell. She could stop paying the rent. She could trash the house.

It will be harder to evict tenants from May.

Why on earth would you do this to yourselves when you have a choice?

Pieandchips999 · 18/03/2026 10:48

I would also say no. Are you sure your landlords insurance would cover you? I know from previous experience it's an exclusion on some policies which might be your get out of jail free card

WellOodelally · 18/03/2026 10:48

Op, it is perfectly obvious that the last thing you should do is rent a home to a woman who has been nothing but difficult in your lives. I can’t believe anyone was so gauche as to suggest you should just let her live there for free either, bonkers!

Fuckitydoodah · 18/03/2026 10:48

You already have someone lined up!

It'll be nothing but problems and drama if you let her have it.

Janey90 · 18/03/2026 10:47

justthecat · 18/03/2026 10:37

I’d say you have nothing available, I imagine she’d become the tenant from hell and she’d never be truly grateful

This!

TheSassyPinkJoker · 18/03/2026 10:46

Just say a Tennant is lined up for it. If she gives you problems there's no way you can get her out.

GoldAndSilverBells · 18/03/2026 10:45

I must admit, I would never rent to family (if I had a couple of spare houses and was looking for tenants.) Well, maybe our DC but that's it. Like I would never lend money to anyone (other than our DC) or recommend anyone for a job. All a bit too 'familiar' and too much of a risk...

Also, if you are renting your house to a relative, they can't claim housing benefit if they can't afford the rent for some reason. Not even part housing benefit.

As someone has said @NewNameForThisWWYD tell them you have tenants already....

Hoardasurass · 18/03/2026 10:45

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

If you only have a 4 bed available (and if its being refurbished then its not really available) and she needs a 3 bed at most you would be absolutely truthful if said that you have no suitable properties at this time. Which means none of your dhs family could give you any agro about not renting to her

Gallowayan · 18/03/2026 10:45

Of course not. She resents your position as a landlord so she would be a nightmare to deal with.

InterIgnis · 18/03/2026 10:45

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

She’s your husband’s family and he is quite happy to say no, so why are you taking it upon yourself to hand wring about it?

She’ll be a nightmare tenant. If you’re so worried about family fallout, then think of the family fallout that will inevitably occur if you do rent to her and ever wish to hold her accountable for rent, or if you ever wish to get the house back.

RandomMess · 18/03/2026 10:44

I think someone has already paid a deposit and in contract with you aren’t they?!

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/03/2026 10:44

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

Agree - given she thinks she should get it for free (and presumably for life because - why would she move?), there's a strong chance she'd default on paying.

Why should you pay to house a relative?

I'd say no, it's a business issue and you've lined up tenants.

5foot5 · 18/03/2026 10:42

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

Yes this. And if she didn't pay promptly or if she mistreated the place and you wanted her out, think how much worse the fall out would be when you tried to evict her.

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/03/2026 10:42

I’d say no. I’d actually also say that the reason you are saying no is because she has been very critical of you being a landlord, so therefore you don’t feel comfortable having her as a tenant.

If you do change your mind, make sure you charge full market rate.

toomuchfaff · 18/03/2026 10:42

No

Dont even offer an explanation, that will invite discussion. Its not a discussion irs a NO.

Not a chance. She is already a relative from hell, you want to make her the tenant from hell?

You owe her nothing. Don't listen to anyone insinuating you do. YOU OWE HER NOTHING.

tealandteal · 18/03/2026 10:42

I would say no, or if you feel inclined to say yes, ensure she pays market rent. You also need to charge her rent to ensure you are protected surely, what if she refuses to leave? Would your mortgage/insurance even allow your to rent to a relative?

JamJar187 · 18/03/2026 10:41

I'd be telling her to sod off!!!

middleagedandinarage · 18/03/2026 10:41

Absolutely say no! Gaurantee this will end in a family feud if you rent to her.
Do family know you have this house empty, could you just not tell anyone or say you already have someone lined up for it?
You are in a no win situation, if you give her the property reduced rent, you'll never get rid of her and it'll be a total headache for you and you'll be out of pocket. If you charge her full rent or don't rent to her then you're not going to be popular with family so I'd go don't rent to her at all and save yourselves the headache.

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Rizzz · 18/03/2026 10:37

After the write-up you've given her I'm really not sure why you're asking?

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

OP posts:
aWeeCornishPastie · 18/03/2026 10:40

What @WeepingAngelInTheTardis said 100%

5foot5 · 18/03/2026 10:40

I would say no and I would make damn sure she and the wider family knew why I was saying no If that cause a rift so what, you said you don't like her much anyway.
.
As for the family member saying you should let her have it for free, I would point out that on the open market you could rent that out for £xyz per month and then ask them if they would also be willing to put their hand in their pocket and give her £xyz per month, because that is effectively what they are asking of you

TheSlantedOwl · 18/03/2026 10:39

Say no, of course. Even if you agreed a rent she wouldn’t pay, probably.

dadtoateen · 18/03/2026 10:39

Sounds like she could be a nightmare tenant.

IF you were to agree to allow her to rent, tell her it will be at full market value and use a letting agency on this one, keeps the 'family' bit out of it. Purely a business transaction.

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