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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 18/03/2026 11:07

Don't do it. Make something up if you have to about having promised it to someone but it will be a disaster and she's a cheeky fucker.

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 18/03/2026 11:06

I would say no unless she can pay the full amount of rent. Asking for a discount and even for free is cheeky as fuck!

Shatteredallthetimelately · 18/03/2026 11:06

She is saying they might have to move school if she can’t find a property in the area which is emotional blackmail I know, but also I don’t want that for the children.

Parents having to move DC happens in a lot of cases, not necessarily ok but it happens and the parents and DC make the best if it.

Parents that use their DC as emotional blackmail are despicable and show a side that's the real them.

Don't store future problems up, it's either your relative that will be upset now or in time yourself, that's your choice to decide which not hers.

thinkfast · 18/03/2026 11:06

I would rent to her but on a normal commercial basis. She has to pay market rate rent, pass the checks required by your landlord’s insurance, provide a deposit and sign a suitable tenancy agreement.

LlynTegid · 18/03/2026 11:05

No is a complete sentence here. I'd probably even say no if it was a relative you had a good relationship with.

Skybunnee · 18/03/2026 11:05

No - don’t do it
How would you ever get her out if no real contract.
Then New partner moves in also expecting cheap accomm?

Catcatcatcatcat · 18/03/2026 11:03

Honestly you will regret it if you get bullied into renting to her. Use the mortgage condition excuse.

LadyDanburysHat · 18/03/2026 11:02

I would tell her that due to her thoughts on you being terrible people to be landlords that you are unable to rent to her.

user7538796538 · 18/03/2026 11:02

Absolutely not!
she will be a nightmare, and getting rid of a tenant is near on impossible now.
I’d say sadly you already have a tenant lined up - perhaps one of your other houses needs emergency work and the tenant from there is moving in temporarily, (until she’s found somewhere else…)

Octavia64 · 18/03/2026 11:02

No.

she’ll almost certainly be a lot more hassle as a tenant (for one thing she’ll feel able to contact you at the drop of a hat) so while saying no is likely to be difficult it will save you hassle in the long run.

lie. If they know you haven’t got anyone in at the moment then just say you’ve been contacted already informally and the house has been offered to someone else and you don’t want to go back on your word

RedRec · 18/03/2026 11:02

If you say yes to this you are the biggest mug ever.

GasPanic · 18/03/2026 11:01

This sounds like it is almost 100% guaranteed to end in disaster.

I would come up with some sort of excuse if needed, but I wouldn't rent to them at any cost.

The renovations are taking longer than expected, you are thinking of putting it on the market etc.

PinkyFlamingo · 18/03/2026 11:01

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

Well you're a mug then. Family doesn't mean getting taken advantage of which is what will happen.

ObsidianTree · 18/03/2026 11:00

I would say hell no. I would say she would be a big problem from the start. Complaining a lot. Creating issues. Not paying rent. Maybe damaging the property.

The way she has acted in the past seems like jealousy. If she's in your house she could be a lot worse and cause big problems.

She obviously won't like it if you say no, but no loss really.

GoldAndSilverBells · 18/03/2026 11:00

skyeisthelimit · 18/03/2026 10:52

sorry to interrupt, but you can rent from a family member and claim HB if you have a legal tenancy agreement and other documents and pay full market rent.

Oh right, the rules must have changed then, because someone I knew in the 2010s had 3 houses they rented out, and they were told they cannot have a family member in any of them paying rent via housing benefit (it was his niece.) Maybe the rules have relaxed? Maybe it's only some councils? Apologies if I have got it wrong.

.

Gribouille · 18/03/2026 10:59

RandomMess · 18/03/2026 10:44

I think someone has already paid a deposit and in contract with you aren’t they?!

This, absolutely. And stop telling your extended family anything about your finances and properties - none of their beeswax!

AWedgeOfLemonAndASmartAnswerForEverything · 18/03/2026 10:59

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

There will be trouble in the family either way, she'll be a nightmare tenant, guaranteed.

NicPapr25 · 18/03/2026 10:58

If you have a commercial buy to rent mortgage, there is a clause saying you will not rent to family, even if you don’t have a mortgage perfectly reasonable to use this for rational for saying no. X

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:58

Unfortunately, she knows we don’t have tenants lined up. Another relative has been doing the work on the house evenings and weekends so we haven’t been able to have a definite finish date and therefore decided not to line up a tenant until the work is complete or very nearly complete. She also knows that we helped out a friend of ours who was in similar circumstances, although we liked her.

It’s the fact she has children that is bothering me. She is saying they might have to move school if she can’t find a property in the area which is emotional blackmail I know, but also I don’t want that for the children.

Although my husband is happy to say no, it’s my job to deal with our rentals as he works.

OP posts:
Thanksforyourlackofthought · 18/03/2026 10:57

I have learnt the hard way to never ever get family involved in anything to do with business. Your rental properties are your business and who you rent them to are none of anybody else’s business.
If you say no, yes you will probably get push back from your family. But if you do feel you need to explain anything to them, She’s never agreed with you having rental properties and you don’t want to compromise her principles.
It absolutely won’t end well if you rent to her. If she doesn’t pay or doesn’t pay on time, you will be the bad guy if you ask for the money. If you actually charge her rent, you will be the bad guy. If at any point she requests something that you can’t provide, you will be the bad guy. If you need her to move out, you will be the bad guy. If she trashes your house and you try to get any compensation or withhold her deposit, you will be the bad guy. So you may as well be the bad guy from the start and just for that one reason. No point dragging out the misery for yourself.

satsumas26 · 18/03/2026 10:57

Obviously no

tell her that the house won’t be ready as it now needs more work (then line up other tenants)

you can help her by pointing out she can look into housing benefits; and point out that she would have issues claiming if she were your tenant (even if this may not be entirely clear)

hth

BaronessBomburst · 18/03/2026 10:56

Definitely not. You're unlikely to get insurance cover for non-payment of rent or eviction costs for a start. Plus she'll want you to wave the deposit so you'll have no recourse to funds to cover cleaning or damage. Even if you use a letting agent she'll contact you directly and complain about everything.
I may be projecting here...... <bitter experience>

Shatteredallthetimelately · 18/03/2026 10:55

From the off it's best to say no that way if anything happens and they refuse to pay the rent or treat the place disrespectfully you won't be setting yourself up for a stressful time in having to sort any problems out that my arise.

A really good case for using forethought here and not hindsight.

perenniallymessy · 18/03/2026 10:55

If any family tell you that you are being mean not letting her stay for free (or reduced cost), then ask them if they would be happy paying rent for her. That is what they are asking you to do as you would be missing out on the rental income on that property.

outerspacepotato · 18/03/2026 10:53

Saying yes will cause you a lot more trouble than saying no. She's been nasty to you for ages. Why would you reward that kind of shit treatment by renting to her at a reduced rate? Do you think she'll be a good tenant who will abide by the terms of your lease? Of course not. She's a nasty, spoiled woman who will make excuses about not paying rent and possibly damage your place. You'll get no end of grief.

The family wants use you for your assets while treating you terribly. Time to see them less. They're users.

No good deed goes unpunished.

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