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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
AggroPotato · 18/03/2026 11:22

No no no no

And no

outerspacepotato · 18/03/2026 11:21

The family feels entitled to your property. That entitlement is exactly why you should never rent to them.

Daisymail · 18/03/2026 11:20

That would be a hard no from me!

2spensive · 18/03/2026 11:20

FOJN · 18/03/2026 11:13

Saying no might cause family disapproval now but I think it will be less than the drama she is likely to cause. I can imagine she would be a nightmare tennant, complain about everything, possibly refuse to pay rent and then refuse to move out. Imagine the family tension if you have to issue an eviction notice?

She will find somewhere to live and any upset will soon blow over. If you rent to her there could be drama which stretches for years. You would be mad to agree; I have no doubt you would regret it.

Sounds like many family members disapprove of OP's choices anyway. I'd go with that option that maximises their disapproval, but that's becuase I'm petty.

SummerFrog2026 · 18/03/2026 11:20

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

The trouble it will cause in the family now, pales into comparison to the trouble allowing her to rent it would bring. Unless of course you'd be happy to let her live in it rent free??

'No I'm surprised you're even asking considering all your comments over the years about us having rental properties'

job done. Deal with the family bitching. It's the least worst situation!

Berriesandcucumbers1 · 18/03/2026 11:19

If you have a buy to let mortgage I imagine the provider wouldn't be too happy come renewal if you were giving her the rental for free. If you ask her to pay rent, what happens when she decides to stop paying, are you going to be happy to take her to court?
You may be worried about the fall out with family if you say no now. But just imagine the fall out in the scenario where she hasn't paid for months because she thinks you can afford it and you then need to accept that she'll never pay rent or you need to take her to court
I would be saying no and stating you don't mix family and business

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/03/2026 11:19

She will find somewhere to live and any upset will soon blow over. If you rent to her there could be drama which stretches for years

Precisely, @FOJN

As you suggested, better a bit off passing angst now than ongoing rows that could go on and on

Easterbunnyishotandcross · 18/03/2026 11:19

As its your dh's family and he is happy to say no you need to go with that. Let him deal with the fall out.
You owe them nothing.. Especially not a free house..
Maybe her dh had cause to escape....

MyKindHiker · 18/03/2026 11:18

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

I don't really care what you do but put YABU because the way this post is written is soooo one sided.

To summarise...

You have a house you rent out and it's empty. A relative is in hard times and you have a chance to do them a favor by letting it out to them at a discounted rate. This would save you agents' fees and you'd presumably know they would take care of the property.

You've given all the background about her being horrible, and disapproving of your choices, and she earns above average etc etc because you want a bunch of strangers online to validate your not wanting to do it. So don't do it. You obviously don't want to. Maybe she's mother Theresa, maybe she's a monster. We'll obviously never know, and it's your house so it doesn't matter.

Honestly I'd want to hear from her perspective given how one sided your post is about her!

jeaux90 · 18/03/2026 11:17

Why would they have to move school? It’s not like she will have to move 200 miles away! Just say no.

BaronessBomburst · 18/03/2026 11:17

If the children have to change schools, that's due to their father's actions, not yours. He caused it. It's not your responsibilty to fix it.

Eviebeans · 18/03/2026 11:16

You would never be able to get her to leave so say no at the start

TheQueenOfTheNight · 18/03/2026 11:16

You may get some disapproving comments if you don't rent it to her , but she does that already.
You will have a nightmare collecting money and getting her out if you do let her stay there.
There's no benefit to you to do this. She needs to find something now.
Say no, and say it now so she's clear that it's not going to happen.

Let me guess - she's already showing that she's jealous and doesn't think you deserve to own "all these houses"? No chance will she pay rent.

loislovesstewie · 18/03/2026 11:15

Sorry I'll say this again. I used to be a homeless officer, there are any number of problems when a landlord let's a property to a friend or relative. There is a saying 'don't mix business with pleasure'. And that is something I would stick to. It usually involves the tenant wanting favours, being difficult and thinking as they are friends / a relative the normal rules don't apply. And just wait until you have to serve notice!
Stay well clear!

2spensive · 18/03/2026 11:15

No, you're considering selling the property in question, hence the work currently being done to appeal to buyers. And when your relative finds a place, oh shucks, you weren't getting decent offers and hae opted to rent it out again.

Obeseandashamed · 18/03/2026 11:14

I’d say no. She sounds nothing but trouble.

Fluffyholeysocks · 18/03/2026 11:13

I'd tell family that you might be considering selling your rental properties in the near future due to recent changes in the law. You think it unwise to rent to her as you want to sell soon. You are only looking at a very short term let to professionals before selling so too much upheaval for her and her kids.

FOJN · 18/03/2026 11:13

Saying no might cause family disapproval now but I think it will be less than the drama she is likely to cause. I can imagine she would be a nightmare tennant, complain about everything, possibly refuse to pay rent and then refuse to move out. Imagine the family tension if you have to issue an eviction notice?

She will find somewhere to live and any upset will soon blow over. If you rent to her there could be drama which stretches for years. You would be mad to agree; I have no doubt you would regret it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/03/2026 11:12

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:40

Because she is family, her partner has cheated on her, I feel for the children and I’m not sure if it’s worth the trouble in the family that I think it will cause if we say no.

But if you say yes the trouble among the family may get even worse unless you bow to her every command - and they'll doubtless insist you should to make up for your sins in being a landlord at all

Presumably there are other properties to rent, so let her take one of those and enjoy the ranting about how awful someone else is for a change

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 11:12

If you have a mortgage on the property, I don’t think your lender is going to allow it. They usually have a clause in to say that it has to be an arms length transaction.

GasPanic · 18/03/2026 11:11

Once she gets in there she may well claim difficulty in paying the rent.

Then the same family members that are putting you under pressure now to house her will be putting pressure on you to let her live there for free.

By letting her live there it's likely that all you will do is move the goalposts somewhere else that is going to bring you into conflict with her/other family members, so you might as well take the conflict now from the start off.

Snorlaxo · 18/03/2026 11:10

I would say no because being her landlord will just give her more ammunition to use against you.

Member984815 · 18/03/2026 11:10

No , it'll end in disaster. I rented to someone I considered a friend they left owing rent and the house in a disgusting state. The last 2 tenants I have had were lovely pay their rent on time and notify me of any issue straight away. It was a rude awakening. The first tenant also decided to make changes in decor , changed things we never agreed to . It's like they thought because they knew me they could do what they wanted.

LoveItaly · 18/03/2026 11:08

justthecat · 18/03/2026 10:37

I’d say you have nothing available, I imagine she’d become the tenant from hell and she’d never be truly grateful

I expect she’d be impossible to get rid of as well, which would cause more family friction. I would say I have nothing available too.

PaterPower · 18/03/2026 11:08

That’d be a solid ‘no’ from me.

She doesn’t like you, has criticised you both in the past and yet wants a freebie or mates rates? Fuck that!

If she doesn’t respect either of you, what makes you think she’ll respect your property? She could trash it and then you’d have all the same relatives telling you to just suck up the cost.

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