AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

Something I have learned over the years (particularly when it comes to DH family) is that you can't care (about the kids) more than their parents do.

The kids have a mother and a father whose responsibility it is to house them. You've said she would be able to easily afford rent in the area, plus she'll get CMS and potential proceeds from a divorce settlement down the line.

Whether she chooses to fight to stay in the marital home (like most women would do if they are primary carers for the kids), rent in the local area, move out of the general location / move schools... none of that is your business.

Right now you don't have a habitable vacant property. You're not going to kick someone else out so she can move in. It's that simple.

I would advise your DH just says "Sorry, we don't have anything available, if I hear of any vacancies in the area I'll be sure to let you know".

No sorry, its a business... never never EVER mix business with family or friends it NEVER ends well, also after april tenents will be harder got get out.. dont do it. hubby cheating is nothing to do with you and would have happened if you had property or not.

I mean...no. I don't think so. I'd create a story about how you already have someone lined up or whatever. I certainly would not be considering renting at a discounted rate to her. What if she stops paying and you're stuck with a non-paying tenant in your house, and the family comes down on her side and you're expected to just subsidise her and her kids indefinitely?! No, no, no, no, no.

It's difficult enough at the best of times renting properties and managing relationships with non-family tenants while complying with law and financial implications. Renting to friends or family adds an extra layer of complication because you are simultaneously managing both the personal or family relationship and the rental / tenant relationship, which are uneasy bedfellows.

We don't know the full financial situation of the woman and her ex or even the OP's financial arrangements but renting to a family member with a history of downright hostility and entitlement / financial disparity/ envy, plus the wider family opinion and emotion, comes with conflict built in. I wouldn't want to box myself into such a complex emotional web.

I'd rather sell the house than that. Is that something you might consider? And as for the children, you might be able to think of other ways to help: would your husband offer her a rental deposit or a house purchase deposit and provide some generous one off or annual gifts for Christmas, birthdays and the like? Even sell her the house at a discount? Would be helping the children and being free from her at the same time.

Nope. How could she honestly expect you as a money grabbing evil landlord (or whatever word she used) to allow her to sacrifice her morals especially for lower/free.

This is an instance where I would lie and say the management company already has a tenant lined up to take possession when the renovation is complete. Sorry (not sorry).

I didn’t have to spend the last 18mo on MN to learn that mixing family and business is a highway to hell, with no exits along the way. Asking for a discount is cheeky - your overheads and landlord obligations don’t get discounted for family occupancy.

Hell no! She's got a brass neck for even asking.

“I’m really sorry, but we value our relationship with you too much to risk it by mixing business with family!”

This has disaster written all over it! Do not rent to her.

Going against the grain- yes, I’d rent it to her. (I mean I also generally agree with her about landlords and making money from property etc but wouldn’t openly criticise you in the way you’re saying she does, but perhaps that does play into my opinion as well)

If you think she’ll pay rent and be an ok tenant then yes I would rent it to her

I agree with other PP, to rent to her would be the biggest mistake of your life. You would never get rid of her.

I agree about never mixing busness and family.
Absolutely DO NOT rent to her below market value. If you do decide to rent to her (but nononono) then a formal legal agreement as though she is any other tenant.
I can foresee that renting to her would be danegeld. I mean anytime you don't turn up the instant she calls with a problem or otherwise don't give her premium service, I bet the fam will give you hell anyway.
BUT
Objectively she would find it easy to find somewhere. You say she works and earns a good wage, What if you weren't in the rental business? She'd have to find somewhere then.
I'd be listening to your husband on this. He is "happy to say no" and neither of you like her. I bet his "don't care either way" has at least an element of family appeasement.
final comment because I am a bitch, why would you rent to someone who disapproves of your being a landlord?

OH PS I wouldn't be surprised at all if the next step is "you shouldn't be renting to me, you should give me the flat"

If you do rent to her you have to assume you’ll not be paid rent. She absolutely sounds like the “well the children needed school shoes and I know you can afford it so it’s just one month” type.

Also check your landlord insurance. I had to change mine when I realised my tenant was actually my cousin (I have had no contact with my mother’s family since I was 7 so I didn’t know) as the one I had had a blanket no relatives policy.

This!!!

It depends on how close the relative is if it's your DH husband and your nieces and nephews are the children I think I would rent it to them, but for full market rent and usual vetting process, deposit etc. But keep it formal and business like and be prepared to push back against unreasonable requests for replacement fittings etc once they are in. If it's a cousin or similar then that would be different. You have already mixed family with business by having a relative tradesperson work on the property and if it's genuinely empty then I don't see why you wouldn't if DH is relaxed either way.

No, say it’s a business. Nothing worse. You’d never get her out if you wanted to

Some councils try and word it like an absolute ban as it’s easier than trying to police it.

Properly set up tenancies, especially with landlords who’ve been renting previously, are absolutely allowed.

contrived tenancies set up just to have HB paying the rent when the landlord isn’t actually charging or would actually throw the tenants out aren’t allowed.

Renting out properties has become increasingly more hazardous than previously, hence many people getting out of the game. I know someone who took their tenant to court for non-payment of rent with a view to evicting them and the judge gave the tenant a whole year to leave because of the sob story: that’s a year where they’re getting no rental income!

Renting to relatives is adding an extra layer of stress. She is already guilt-tripping you and feels aggrieved that you get money for renting out a property. How much more aggrieved will she be once it’s her money being paid? She may be grateful at the beginning but gratitude often soon turns to entitlement further down the line. Can you imagine trying to deal with relatives reactions to you taking her to court and trying to evict her. It would be out of sight worse. If they believe in subsidising her then they should be doing it out of their pockets. People are always very willing to volunteer other people for things that don’t affect them!

For the sake of the children, I would offer her the house that is too large at the market rate via a registered real estate agent
.
State that it is an exception (usually wouldn't rent out to relatives) due to the children having to cope with a rotten situation, and that it is temporary until she finds a smaller home.

Deposit paid, contracts written and signed as if she were a stranger renting your house - with two huge differences:

• Written into the contract allow her to move out with short notice (two weeks) as you understand her need is for a smaller home.
• And, when she does leave, resolve to refund her deposit in full; because she is a relative.

Absolutely not. No.

If she’s earning well above average wage then why doesn’t she just buy?
id be very wary of renting to her given your not on best terms and once she’s in it could be very difficult to get her out due to the new landlord rules coming in.

Hard no. You'll never get rid of her.

I'd say no, even at market rent, because she sounds as though she'd be a trrible tenant - and would probably not pay you rent anyway.

And your answer to her when she makes digs about landlords, is to say that you rent out the house at a reasonable rate to families who are not in a position to buy a house. You're offering a necessary service.

I rent out a house to a family who could not afford to buy such a nice, large house as the one I rent to them (at a slightly under market rate because it's a family & they're good tenants).

Bit edited to add: you will likely have to steel yourself to even more abuse from her at family events, or resign yourself to being excluded from your DH's family events.

Never do business with family and certainly not this rude CF.

Say no. Tell them you don't mix business and family.

YANBU if you want to avoid the stress of mixing business with family/ family politics.