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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not rent a house to our relative?

386 replies

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 10:33

We have some properties that we rent out. A couple of relatives have always had a problem with this and have taken every opportunity to tell us that we are terrible for adding to the issues with housing.

Now one of these relatives has split from her partner and is looking for a house to rent. She has asked us if she can rent from us and asked if she can do so at a cheaper rate or free to help her out. We have a property empty currently as we are having some work done on it. It will be ready in a couple of months so this relative could in theory move in then. Other relatives are putting pressure on us to help her, one even said we should let her stay in the house for free and completely ignoring the fact that this woman has been horrible to us over the years.

I want to say no. It’s a relative on my husband’s side and he is happy to say no but doesn’t care either way. Neither of us like this relative very much, she is very opinionated and has picked the fight about landlords with us many times at family events making a scene. Every time we see her she makes digs and negative comments. She has also made it known that she disapproves of other choices we’ve made and is generally just very judgemental. We see her at family events to keep the peace in the wider family but really wouldn’t care if she wasn’t in our lives.

She works in a career that pays well above average wage and has 2 children. The house she wants to rent from us has 4 bedrooms.

What would you do? Say no? Rent to her at market rate? Rent to her at a lower rate? Obviously my preference is to say no but I think this will cause issues with some other family members.

OP posts:
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EllaMozarella · 24/03/2026 16:27

Fuck, no

Londonrach1 · 24/03/2026 16:24

No! It be impossible to remove her once she moves in. Never mix business with family and friends.

AnotherForumUser · 24/03/2026 16:20

MimiGC · 24/03/2026 15:56

Why does she and the children have to move out and not her cheating husband?!

The OP describes him in several posts as a partner rather than a husband. It may be that it is solely his house (e.g. he owns the property or is the legal tenant). If that's the case the SIL is in a much more difficult situation than if they'd been married.

MimiGC · 24/03/2026 15:56

Why does she and the children have to move out and not her cheating husband?!

Gossipisgood · 24/03/2026 13:18

I'd probably let her rent it but at full market costs to save the children having to move schools & save family fall outs with others. Make it clear to her though that it's a business arrangement & have her sign a Tenancy Agreement. Could you rent to her short term until you have other tenants lined up?

Also when discussing things remind her of her attitude to you being Landlords & say it's just as well you are & have a property she can rent as she'd be up the river without a paddle otherwise & ask her in future to keep her opinions to her self regarding your business.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/03/2026 10:41

I would say yes but be market rent - why should you be out of pocket

but have a years contract or even 6mths so can ask to leave if annoying

LondonRidge · 24/03/2026 09:42

Tontostitis · 22/03/2026 14:25

We did this it was a horrific mistake didn't get rent for nearly a year then just got it sporadically meanwhile we were having to pay all the council tax and everything else because it's not worth putting it in our name we're only going to be there a month or two maybe. And to cap it all most of his family think we're absolutely awful even though we lost a fortune. I pointed out to his mum we were living in my house and had been renting his house out to pay the bills. She actually said you paid the bills before you met him you can obviously afford it on your own.

TLDR:
Relative wasn't grateful didn't pay.

Oh my word this is awful!!! Are you even speaking to them?

and of course it was your fault not DO

IShouldNotBeSurprised · 23/03/2026 19:04

Sounds like she has a lot of people on her side; they can all pitch in and subsidize her.

I agree with so many others, doing this will end up being a nightmare for you. I'm glad to see you've decided to say no. I think it's a very wise decision.

chaoticred · 22/03/2026 15:23

Renting to friends/family never ends well. Even worse that you already have a poor relationship with her. I understand you feel for the kids but if you didn’t have the house available then what would she do then? They will make do… this is just the easy option and people love a bit of emotional manipulation!

Sophue · 22/03/2026 14:29

NewNameForThisWWYD · 18/03/2026 13:01

When she asked for it for free, she was laughing but clearly testing the water. She was very serious about a cheaper rent though. Her partner was bad with money so although she earns quite well, she doesn’t have much in savings and has some costs for one of her children, due to a medical condition, that takes up a big chunk of her wage each month which I sympathise with.

I have decided to say no and deal with the family fallout if it happens. I do feel guilty for the children and I have sympathy for her being cheated on but you’re all right that it could end up causing too many problems. My husband has said to say that it’s his decision and then hopefully she’ll aim all her anger at him which he won’t care about.

Thanks for all the replies.

Difficult decision, as there may be a fallout from it, but I think you've made the right one.Now you need to stand by it and not be swayed.

Tontostitis · 22/03/2026 14:25

We did this it was a horrific mistake didn't get rent for nearly a year then just got it sporadically meanwhile we were having to pay all the council tax and everything else because it's not worth putting it in our name we're only going to be there a month or two maybe. And to cap it all most of his family think we're absolutely awful even though we lost a fortune. I pointed out to his mum we were living in my house and had been renting his house out to pay the bills. She actually said you paid the bills before you met him you can obviously afford it on your own.

TLDR:
Relative wasn't grateful didn't pay.

dh280125 · 22/03/2026 14:21

Of course you must say no. She has no respect for what you do. Expecting you to help is pure hypocrisy.

deeahgwitch · 20/03/2026 19:29

You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t @NewNameForThisWWYD
That’s why I wouldn’t.
She’ll be the tenant from hell.

UnderstatedChaos · 20/03/2026 09:09

Why would you rent to her below market rent? If you don't get on very well anyway I think even renting to her at market rate has disaster written all over it, she'll be a nightmare tenant and will turn the family against you off the back of it. So your family will fallout with you whether you rent to her or not, may as well not have the house headache and be out of pocket too. People can put pressure on you all they like, you aren't obliged to house family members.

Imisssleep88 · 20/03/2026 08:00

I wouldn't personally do it, it won't end well I fear. Just say sorry you have already signed a contract with new tenants for when work is complete and let her sort herself out some other way. If she has been horrible in the past she doesn't deserve your help. She will underpay/not pay I guarantee and you will struggle to get her out.

Redragtoabull · 19/03/2026 22:03

Absofuckinglutely not!
Fuck what she and the other relatives think.
Let them take her in if they're so concerned. CF's

keffie12 · 19/03/2026 21:57

My God no don't do this. Given her past behaviour she will no doubt treat the property badly, you will probably struggle to get the rent from her and you will find it difficult to get her out to if you need too.

Also if for example she lost her job Universal credit will not pay the rent as the property is owned by family. I know this is a fact. It didn't used to be like that. However it is now.

Tell her to go to the council. Housing options will have to help her as she a woman with children

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 19/03/2026 19:13

I would say no. Don't mix business/money with family. Youll be damned if you do and damned if you don't rent to her. Might as well, bite the bullet and say no that way she will just moan that your heartless.

Shes going to bitch about you anyway. Probably about the house, the rent, decor... she sounds like a handful..then because she's family, you can't remove her cos you'll be seen as the bad guy. Sounds like hassle which you don't need.

TwinklySquid · 19/03/2026 19:06

Offer to rent it too her at market rate. She clearly doesn’t want that so hopefully she’ll say no.

Allowingthebreezethroughmyhair · 19/03/2026 13:52

Did the CF argue when you said no?

SummerFrog2026 · 19/03/2026 11:25

@NewNameForThisWWYD

Good decision! I hope you stick to it & don't get swayed!! Tell her ASAP, dwelling on it will only drag it out for you. If you feel yourself dithering remember how awful she was to you & about you having rental properties!!

myheadsjustmush · 19/03/2026 09:42

A very wise decision @NewNameForThisWWYD

I really do think you have saved yourselves a lot of heartache and aggravation by saying no.

DragonsAndDaffs · 19/03/2026 09:11

I would rather deal with the fall out of refusing than have her as a tenant!

IsItSummerSoon · 19/03/2026 09:05

100% made the right decision. There will be a fallout now, but if you’d said yes you’d have various fall outs in the future and be stuck in an ongoing saga. I’d rather take the hit now and be done with it.

fataroundthemiddle · 19/03/2026 09:00

Why even consider it?

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