AIBU to dread DH working from home with a toddler underfoot?

My husband WFH and I'm off with our toddler, he just knows daddy is here but working and he'll come out at "x" time (his lunch break) to play etc.

As its unusual for your husband to be home in the day why not make a clock picture with segments where daddy can play and daddy can't, so your daughter isn't always asking to see him? Just a simple pie chart style thing?

I'm not sure of the house set up, but if you need to be in/have run out of being "out" then I'd try and stick to a different floor. Have toys in her bedroom instead of the living room/kitchen, read books, mine used to love a middle of the day bath and I'd throw some little plastic gen things in there for them to "treasure hunt". Just generally keeping her busy. If she knows daddy is there and can't be distracted, focus activities on him "shall we paint a picture for daddy to show him at lunchtime" or "we can't speak to him now but let's make biscuits for our dinner time when daddy will be with us". Ask him to also think about it, e.g. schedule some breaks when he can play or have lunch together every day, and ensure he doesn't just pop out, wave and go again as that used to drive my toddler wild with anger. It's definitely do-able (I say this as someone who went through covid with a husband, 2.5 yr old and 5 year old doing home schooling - be grateful for the soft play!)
Hopefully now the weather is picking up a bit you can get out lots too even if its just a walk to the park.

Where's he sitting to work? Dh worked at home a lot when ours were little and we found it best if he was upstairs and we were mainly downstairs. (We actually had a loft room and that was the best place)

He put a little hook and eye lock up high on the back of the door to stop exuberant youngsters letting themselves in mid client call 🤣 My friends used to joke about that bloke you keep locked in your attic 🤣

Also can he use the time he's saving by not commuting to spend some extra time with your little one? That might help.

Back when we had a toddler still, I worked in the house 1 day a week when DH was off work looking after said toddler. We both knew that it was going to be a pain in the arse for all concerned if she knew I was available, so we worked to make sure it wasn't going to happen. I didn't want a screeching shitfit any more than he did.

That meant background noise, a routine involving him getting her out of the house in the mornings and me taking care over where I went otherwise- I would work upstairs and they'd be downstairs. He also did the school run for older DC and took toddler alongside, so that was more structure too.

Basically the answer was planning and some give and take.

His home too, yes. But his child, too. His wife looking after his child, him making it a bit easier for her? No, I don't think it's a big ask, and it's only for a short time while he's WFH.

I feel like I’m just repeating myself now 😂 I personally don’t think it’s a big ask, I’m aware it’s his home too (obviously?! 😂) but again, it takes all sorts. I’m aware not everyone will agree. I don’t know what else to say!

Of course it’s a big ask. It’s his home too.

Okay 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think it’s a massive ask for a short term solution to it being a drama every time he goes in and out but fair enough that you disagree, takes all sorts.

Love your username!

I couldn’t believe what I was reading!

Just keep your child away when he's working.
Shouldn't really be difficult/questionable.

He needs to not potter. So take a flask or cold drink and snack and stay in bedroom /upstairs office unless needs a wee

you have music /radio /tv on downstairs

This

its not hard and dont have to be costly

many M&T are £1/2

parks and libraries free

no friends you can go and crash round / kids play - you have a catch up

Literally, this! Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill!! I’d love to have my OH home more, I WFH and if my son is here with my OH he wouldn’t think it such an issue!!

I think people are being very harsh to you here!

On one of the days I work from home, my DM looks after my toddler at our house. Toddler knows I’m here but I make it as easy as possible by staying in the study with the door closed and not popping out for snacks constantly. I think your DH should be a bit more considerate and try to keep out of the way as much as possible.

No, this is ridiculous. If that was me, no way would I agree to hole up in one room all day with a kettle like a sad B n B, and only scuttle apologetically out when I needed a piss.

Yes, I’ve had 3 of them, and a DH who worked from home for the vast majority of their toddlerhoods.
Yes they knew he was at home. They also knew that they couldn’t go in to see him while he was working.

I assume you're in a mainly open plan house? He'll just have to find a room with a door to work from. That might be from your bedroom. Get a lap tray if you don't have a desk in there. It's not forever.

Do you people know what a toddler is like???! First comment is mindboggling

Of cours esh knows!

It's nice she wants to spend time with him. During COVID, mine always seemed to understand Daddy was working but me they would interrupt. They do learn, though. You just repeat over and over Daddy is working , set out the day. We are doing x and y and z, after z you can play with Daddy. You don't need to go out tonnes.

I agree - my DD had DH around all of the time because it was covid. She was only 4mo so it was normal for her that he was there but unavailable. He did come down for lunch so she still got to see him for a bit. I was a SAHM until she went to school so this went on for years and she was just used to it.

Just keep reinforcing boundaries with her and she'll adjust over time.

DH works from home 4 days a week, 2 of those days DS (3) isn't at preschool. They quickly get used to the idea that mummy or daddy is home but working and unavailable. She'll get used to it. Echo pp that I'd get her out of the house and wear her out so she's happy to chill at home.

You need to just suck it up unfortunately, you need to structure your day to keep the toddler distracted. Your very lucky you are home with her. During lockdown nursery was shut I was working full time at home on my own with a 2 yr old running wild and my husband was out working. It's very difficult and I nearly lost the plot but it's temporary at least you know it won't be for long and things will return to normal. For now just support him as best you can.