To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

Despairing because the process sounds like it’s been handled badly (not that the OP should have got the role).

Would be good to hear the OP to come back on here and say her manager has now spoken to her and they have a plan to work with her on development.

You could PM me 😉

You’re upset and that’s valid but you chose the demotion when you could have kept your job, that was your choice.

And realistically a week to prepare is not an unfairly short amount of time for interview prep, particularly considering you’ve been an interviewer on a panel and know exactly how it’s scored and that reliance cannot and will not be placed on your performance outside the scoring matrix.

I wouldn’t do anything rash and try to take it in your stride. Marching off on the sick when you wouldn’t have done so had you got the job you wanted will look at best like sulking and at worst like lying to get time off.

You sound lovely, hope that comment made you feel fab about yourself.

I can’t say what I really want to as my comment will get deleted.

Understandably you are disappointed but its how you deal with that disappointment that counts. I'd leave trying to blame them or yourself and look to the future. What do you want to happen now?

Why despairing ? I don’t get this, simply as the op declares herself the best person for the job and the person who got it not suitable does not remotely mean the hiring panel feel this to be the case.

of course she thinks she’s the best, she’s hardly going to come on and say she’s been a bit shit for the last 5 years but thought she should get it anyway.

it’s been 6 years inc maternity leave since she did it. It’s a long time. She chose not to go back into that role. Proactively when the option existed for her. She by her own admission didn’t prepare fully for the interview and messed up in this part. She didn’t even remember what star was. Even people not in the civil serve know this, which means she didn’t answer the questions posed to her, in a clear and full manner. That’s all it means.

i can assure you if they wished her in the role the scores would have been managed by the panel to ensure it. It could have been close and the other person has great potential and the best on the day won, or it could be she was never going to get it. None of us know.

There is nothing to indicate she’s not been through normal appraisal processes, and she is not entitled to some form of fast track promotion over others as she decided to spend time with her child rather than return to role.

Yeah, I don’t work in that world anymore either, but it’s burned into my brain I think!

I’m sorry I disagree, it is the penalty we face when we are not with someone who will not do their share of childcare, or we chose to have a child and can’t afford childcare. But it is irrelevant, the op said she wanted to go part time to spend time with her son when he was little. This is absolutely a valid decision, but she is not owed a career or to retain a senior job if she chooses to go part time to do that. That’s not how the world works nor should it. Businesses, companies, departments need to be able to function.

this is not about being penalised as she is a mother and I find it offensive to the women who are penalised due to it. Deeply. As many are.

tne op is not one of these women. She chose the lower role so she could go part time and spend more time wit her child. It is ludicrous to suggest she has in some way been penalised. Plenty of women, like men, go back to work full time when their children are little. She had this option. She declined it.

we get a years maternity, the expectation is to return to th4 workplace in the role we left, the op had that option, she prefered not to. Her decision. Her responsibility.

OP I disagree with the people above saying your employer hasn’t done anything wrong. The situation sounds very demotivating and badly handled.

while they may not have given you the job, they should have made an effort to work with you on what your role will look like, what your next steps and development might look like.

Have they talked to you at all? (Your manager or someone more senior?)

best practise would be for someone to pick up with you very quickly after confirming you didn’t get the job with some acknowledgement that this may not have been the outcome you planned for and to look at what’s next for you.

you could ask for this. If you can process the most difficult of emotions, I think it would be ok for you to say to employer that you were of course disappointed that you weren’t offered the role particularly with the context of having previously delivered that role successfully. You’d like to discuss your development and next steps within the new structure. (You will need to park the most personal circumstances)

you can also be your own careers coach and look for other options

As a side note, this leaves me despairing of the civil service, such a rigid recruitment process is detrimental to good talent and motivated staff

It’s not a case of pregnant and screwed, it’s a case of being a mother and screwed. The ‘Motherhood Penalty’ is a well known and well studied phenomenon.

The structure of work, including interview processes, is an outcome of the patriarchal system that does little to accommodate the needs of working mothers. Please do not blame yourself as one individual mother just trying to do her damn best in the unforgiving world of work. Did your ex take a demotion? So many men able to walk away from their parenting responsibilities and leaving women to do the hard job of children and work. Really angers me.

Of course you have every right to feel angry and hurt. They know, and you know, that you could do that job. Ignore the posters also shifting the blame onto you. Not the right time FFS. Anyone would feel down given the circumstances you’re in and you’re a bloody star for keeping going.

It isn’t the best way - I’ve been on interview panels where an internal candidate who was brilliant and the absolute perfect person for the job went to pieces with nerves in the interview and therefore by the scoring matrix presented as the worst candidate that day.

HR would not budge from the scoring system to let me give her the job. Then I had the manage the person who did get the job who wasn’t half as good as the internal candidate.

Its really tough when you don't get a job you really wanted and the rejection can hit hard, especially when you arent in a great place mentally.

It doesnt sound as though your employer has done anything wrong tbh. They gave you the same opportunities as every other candidate for the role and on the day, someone else performed more strongly. Whilst it is unfortunate that the timing of the interview coincided with the anniversary of your loss, it isn't your employers fault this was the case and for fairness to all, they really can only consider each candidates performance during the recruitment process rather than how well you may have potentially performed at another time.

Take time to feel the disappointment, it is valid to feel how you feel, but try not to become consumed by it and allow yourself to slip into a hard done by/victim mindset.

Some practical suggestions:

• Take on board the feedback from the interview and work on strengthening your answers and examples to use for future opportunities.

• In terms of having less time because the interview invites were sent out on your non working day - in future apply using your personal email address to avoid missing such notifications.

• talk to colleagues/hr etc about potential opportunities that might be coming up in the future.

It may well be wise for you to take some time off to look after your mental health and that is valid if you're are struggling, however it seems this situation isn't really the cause of your MH being affected, more like the final straw that's made it too hard for you to cope at the minute.

Do reach out to your GP and friends and family for support and take care of yourself OP xx

But you didn’t need to let it. You could have stayed full time, they were willing to let you do that, as your maternity cover was, in the senior role.

you appear determined to position yourself as a victim due to your own choices.

you chose to have a child. You chose to go part time. You chose to take the lower grade role, you chose to not adequately prepare, you didn’t even appear to know what star was, you chose to not be prepared for an interview important to you, I assume as you thought it a formality.

you could have made different choices. No one else can take responsibility or be blamed for your choices. Your comment on they prefered your cover makes no logical sense, the job was available to you should you had chosen to continue in it. You said no thank you.

these are you choices. Had you made different choices you’d not be in this position.

The onus is on the internal candidate to check their emails when not at work and expecting something important surely!

I can't see what they did wrong.

Oh, sorry, repeating a PP.
Take time off for mental health, they won't have you back.

But when you’re in the situation you have worked with all the candidates and you already know who would be most competent, yet you’re forced to hire someone you know doesn’t work as well, yet interviews well, it’s hugely frustrating.

I’ve done a lot of these interviews in the civil service / public sector, on both sides of the table. Maybe 50 or so in total. The challenge is that you will be asked about a capability (usually 4 or so in total) and so you have to know your examples for each capability and then make sure you choose them correctly. So for example you might have a good example for data, but it could also fit for a teamwork or achieving results capability. You need to tailor it accordingly, and then if you’ve used it and you are asked for another example for another capability which would have fit you of course need to find a new and better one. On top of that you might be asked for a specific example eg one from your current role, or one during a period of change.

Like I said I’m pretty good at that but it did require a lot of prep and a good memory (and if you’ve used panic in an interview the process in your brain is such that it blocks the bit of your brain you use for accessing your memory).

So I should have been clearer that it’s not STAR structure, it’s more how it’s used in the public sector.

But it was your choice, you could have continued in current role, you chose proactively to do the demoted role as you didn’t want to work full time.

if they’d refused you back into it, and said the only option was the demoted role, that would be different, but that’s not what occurred. You wanted part time, it couldn’t be done in current role it could be done in lower role, you had the option of both, you chose part time in lower role

But that would be unfair to those they don’t know and always give the advantage to someone they do know; which isn’t ok.

it sounds like the interview process was conducted fairly. However, I really dislike the scoring system of interviews when candidates are already known to the interviewing panel. I’ve been in situations before where I have been hiring and I know from previous performance who is the right fit for the job. However another candidate scores more highly in the interview and gets the job. It really is a poor way of hiring, and yet is endemic in the public sector.

I applied for a what I think would be a really cool/good job.

It was with the police as an evidence administrator.

I was successful in getting the role and was genuinely excited..... Until I thought about what the evidence might have been for.

I'm an empath and I know for a fact I would have struggled with whatever bad had happened. It would have been too much on my heart body and soul soni ended up saying thanks but not thanks (and lots of sorry's).

Doesn’t sound like they made you take a demotion at the time though. Your role was available, but you wanted a part time job instead so went for that. I don’t understand why that would be not allowed. If they refused to let you have your old job back returning from maternity leave and only offered a demotion that would be different.

I’m sorry you didn’t get the job. But I really think you need to suck this one up. Interviewers will only be interested in recent experience and unfair as it might seem, five years ago is not recent in workplace terms.