To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

Wounded pride is not a mental illness. It is something we all occasionally experience at work.

The grumbling about not seeing the Friday email suggests you think it is someone else's responsibility and not your own. That is the way it is if you work part time. I often have to respond to work emails at the weekend and I work in a job that someone in the civil service writes the job standards for.

You interviewed along with other candidates; which part was unfair? If you had got the job by sole virtue of having done it before (half a decade ago, right enough) then that really would have been unfair on the other candidates.

Yes it’s shit when you don’t get a job you know you’d be good at. Loads of us have all been there. However you admit your interview questions weren’t great, so that was the decider. There’s nothing you can do about it. In time, you’ll accept it and move on to something else. But I get how crap it feels, but the employer hasn’t done anything wrong.

It’s not unfair at all. It’s the way things go.

They are entitled to say that your previous role can’t be done part-time and that you have the option of working full-time, or taking a different role to get the hours that you want. (And actually that’s incredibly reasonable of them, they could have just said “no” to the reduction in hours request.)

Losing one weekend of preparation time shouldn’t have made a massive difference. You still had a whole week to prepare. As a single parent to a five year old, it would be surprising if you had a lot of time to prepare over a weekend, or if it would have been at most a few hours after they had gone to bed. And of course you would not have expected to use work time to prepare.

It is possible that you just didn’t answer the questions very well. As an interviewer, I have very often seen candidates who walk in so overly confident and not putting much effort in, because they have done the role before so think they are assured of getting it. Meanwhile someone who has never done the role will interview much better because they take it far more seriously, as they know nothing is assured. I wonder if that could be what happened in this case.

And actually, if you are genuinely depressed, it is probably for the best that you did not get the role. You would be better off getting yourself sorted out, and I’m sure that it would be easier while you are still working only part-time.

They don’t care if you’re depressed or grieving your mum. You weren’t good enough on the day and if you took a demotion they prob think you’re not hungry enough for it. This is harsh but sadly true. You need to get a new job.

YANBU if you want to take time off because you are overwhelmed. YABU to be so put out you didn't get the job. Everyone in the CS knows how tough the interview are.

And having worked in the Civil Service for 10+ years, why are you acting like you don't know how the interview process works?

The interviewers cannot take into account anything other than your performance in the interview - so I have no idea why you thought your experience would count as a positive (apart from the fact it may have helped you with your answers).

And your point RE your presentation being good - likely the candidate who got the job also had a great presentation + better interview answers, which is why they scored higher than you.

Empathy bypass? Op is clearly struggling and you think it’s helpful to chip in with this snidey shit. How unpleasant.

Op I get why you’re annoyed. Cuts being made, managers receiving a promotion and getting cast aside for a job you’ve already done. It doesn’t exactly scream ‘great workplace morale’. People on MN are very literal - of course you weren’t entitled to get the job but you still are allowed to have certain feelings about the situation.

It sounds like you’ve had a really difficult time and emotions are probably coming to the fore more so now than when your mum initially passed. If you need time off I’d absolutely take it. Come back stronger, use the time to assess whether you want to stay there and just be kind to yourself.

They have literally shown they can replace you so don’t feel bad for prioritising yourself and your wellbeing.

Ok, but yoh also wrote this I should have rehearsed the Star stuff or whatever that is

which doesn’t indicate you were fully aware, nor did you prepare correctly. It does feel like you thought you were a walk in so didn’t prepare correctly for it, and are now embarassed and angry you didn’t get it.

just put it down as a lesson learned, there will be other interviews, and you know now you do need to prepare.

You sound entitled op and are being unreasonable. But also must have been hard that week for you re the anniversary of your mum's death. Perhaps you simply weren't the best person for the job.

Why is taking time off for mental health extreme? I'm still dealing with suddenly losing my mum last year, the anniversary being last week, having recently been through a divorce, and my therapist has said I'm depressed, and now the shock and embarrassment of not getting the job I was successfully doing before maternity leave. I haven't been able to sleep. I cannot work as much as I couldn't work if I had flu.

Why ask if you already know you are going to go off sick? Ultimately the situation will remain exactly the same when you return.

If you’ve been on an interview panel then you should have known the importance of ‘the Star stuff or whatever that is’.

I think you winged that part of the interview and paid the price. We’ve all been there. Just learn from it. If you fail to prepare, then you prepare to fail, as my dad used to say.

If you have been on panels. know the scoring etc then once you get past the disappointment and frustration with the system and your workplace and managers, you might see that you’re being unreasonable about the interview outcome when you didn’t do well on the questions.

It’s time to move on OP. Taking time off isnt going to make this situation better. Being proactive and finding a new opportunity elsewhere will. There are other jobs out there, you just need to be brave enough to go for it.

Been there done that. important for civil service interviews to prepare well on the STAR stuff.

‘I don't see why this wasn't given more weight’.

That’s just not how civil service interviews work.

Your frustration about your current place is clear!

Do you have other job options? If so would focus on working towards that.

Everyone feels like this after a rejection OP. How you’re feeling is normal, let it ride out.

It sounds like you’re going through a lot personally, perhaps now isn’t the best time to take on a full time job anyway. Concentrate on yourself and your son. You’ll both be feeling the effects of the divorce and trying to establish a new normal.

Take time to breathe. To heal. Things will get better over time and if you want a promotion, it’ll happen. But now is a brutal time in the job market (it’s possible they were trying to offer to someone who’s lost their job?).

All the best. Try not to spiral, if you need a few days off to re-centre, take it as annual leave. You’ve got this.

Your work have done nothing wrong.

They have to go on interview performance on the day. I get interviews are shit, but if past performance was taken into account, then people who had not worked for a particular company before would be at a massive disadvantage.

Its nearly the weekend...take that time to do something lovely with your child, recharge and go back to work, knowing that you still have your job, which you were ok about in the original restructure.

I am an employment lawyer

“I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'.”
”I don't see why [my presentation] wasn't given more weight Vs the interview questions.”

OP, I’ve never worked in the civil service, but I’ve known someone who has, and who interviewed for her department, and I’ve heard her bemoaning the fact that there were good people who didn’t get promotion because all the sections of the interview are scored and the job goes to the person with the best score, irrespective of experience. She was particularly irritated on one occasion when the best candidate in terms of track record didn’t get a post because of this system. Unfortunately, you just have to learn to play the game.
As for “taking time off for mental health”, surely all you will be doing is proving to them that actually, you weren’t the right person for the job - employers like employees who show a bit of resilience. You will get over this disappointment - have you asked for feedback? Do a bit more research to find out what they’re looking for in the interview, and I’m sure you’ll be successful next time.

You went for a job you thought you were a shoe in for, and from your post, considered it to be yours already. You didnt get it.
And now you are going off sick in a strop and claiming a mental health issue.
If you really are this fragile then perhaps you werent up to the job anyway.

You aren't understanding. Its about how you answer questions in the interview. There is a scoring matrix, civil service uses this to award scores for answers. Full marks for fully answering down to low mark for not fully answering or giving the information they are looking for. The highest total score wins the job. Ask to see a scoring matrix, to understand how it works. This is key to understanding how to prep for future interviews. Sadly in the civil service its not about how well you can or have done the job, its about how you score in the interview. It has to look fair and objective, it covers them if someone challenges the process. In the civil service promotions go to people good at interviews not necessarily good at the job.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave

Taking time off for mental health reasons because you’re angry you didn’t get the job is not professional. Rejection is a part of working life.

Ask for detailed feedback and learn from it and move on.

Excuses such as I didn’t see the email because I don’t work on Fridays don’t really wash anymore.

This isn't correct. The limitation for an employment tribunal is 3 months but there is often an option of a claim in the county court depending upon circumstances. That claim may be out of time under tort but under contract law may be admissible albeit almost impossible. I'm happy to be corrected by an employment lawyer . . . if I'm incorrect.

Op I'd suggest continuing in your current job and taking some time to review what career path you'd like to take and work toward that. I'm sure you had a lot going on but interviewers can mark only on your performance that day.

Legal avenues are fraught with stress and pain, and at most stages unlikely to give any validation to how you feel.