To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

Situation, task, action and result. You structure an answer in that order to fully make sure you cover everything.

I would honestly look for another job (if you aren’t already). There are jobs in management that are 4 days a week and/or full time roles that could have compressed hours. I know what it feels like to put your career on hold when you have a child but if you’ve reached a point where you think you can work full time then there are a lot more opportunities out there for progression than in your current organisation.

Then you'll know that it simply isn't possible to take into account previous performance. It has to be a level playing field for all candidates on the day and the one with the highest score gets the job. A 30 minute interview isn't necessarily the best way to appoint someone, but it is the way most organisations use.

I've sat on many interview panels in the public sector (at least 50). Im sure the outcome has been disappointing to many candidates. It seems to me that you've a lot on your plate at present, and being unsuccessful at interview is the final straw. If you feel unwell enough to be at work, you need to go off sick. If you're upset, angry or disappointed, then it might be better not to - coming to terms with this situation will need to happen at some point. Wishing you all the best.
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Ita not accurate to say you were demoted.

You could have returned to your role but accepted a different job. Probably a good decision on the circumstances. Own that choice and dont view it as a demotion.

It didn’t come together for you this time. That doesn’t make you a bad person / colleague / daughter / mother / or anything else. Rejection is hard but you do have a hell of a lot going on elsewhere. It’s ok to be disappointed & upset with how this has gone this time. But I would really focus on how you use this as an opportunity to think about what you need or want from work / career. If it’s more, go and pursue it. No doubt, this experience will have you super prepared for your next interview. If it’s a realisation that your current role continues to service your needs whilst you wear all these other hats, that’s ok too x

You have definitely had a tough time but gently, many people lose loved ones and apart from initial grace around the time of passing you can’t expect much more from a workplace. Things don’t always feel fair, it’s shit.

Book leave but I really wouldn’t take time off for mental health reasons, you may be depressed but it’s not a good look to not get a job and then sign off sick imo.

Hi OP, sounds like you’ve had a tough time and this is the straw that broke the camels back?

I think you know you have no case against your employer, but you were disappointed, angry, and hurt and you are entitled to feel how you feel.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Have a rant and cry, take a day or two off if you need it (or longer if you really feel too unwell to work). Then pick yourself up and get back out there because no one is coming to do that for you and you owe it to yourself.

People are being a bit harsh on this thread when it’s clear OP is having a hard time and reacting in frustration. If you’ve never done that and then calmed down later then bully for you.

Don’t let the fuckers get you down OP.

And that's one of the reasons it's so fucked.

And we are all paying so much for services we aren't getting.

They’ve done nothing wrong

You didn’t get the job

You didn’t want to do full time so they found a role for you on less hours but a lower grade which you accepted

What have they done wrong?

ok, anyone else want to know what STAR is?

Let it go OP, stop trying to make it as though you were unfairly skipped over, you weren’t. You gave a good interview and have some experience, but someone else was better and possibly had more relevant experience.

Your employer has done nothing wrong. They gave more than enough time to prepare and you know that, they sent out the interview date promptly which you didn’t check until the following week, you admit you have a lot going on and forgot some things. The outcome of this is 100% on you.

Your employer has done nothing wrong. I have been both sides of the interview table and didnt get the job I was actually doing at the time of the interview. I got the same post later on. I didnt put myself forward in interview and I paid the price first time.

I've interviewed many people in the civil service and the lack not examples is a common issue. People just assume you know what they've done and will fill the blanks - we don't. Its tough but it is what it is

This. It will be about your interview responses for equality reasons. They can’t go on what others say about you or what they might/might not recall from 5 years ago as this is very subjective and open to abuse/memory lapses and such like. Unfortunately then it comes down to what is said in the interview and somebody will have answered better. They will have a list of the same questions they ask everybody and your answers will be compared to those of other candidates. So - it’s not about you being able to do the actual job. Rather, you being able to ‘do’ the interview. This is where you need perhaps to upskill in terms of question response so might be worth thinking about how you could have better replied so you can carry this forward in case another post comes up. I think reflecting on what happened in this way might make you feel less slighted and unappreciated (I know it’s natural to feel like this - I’ve been there myself) but once the initial gut feeling of being disappointed has faded, try and think critically about it and take from it some lessons that will benefit you, going forward. Good luck OP.

It what it is. I knew somebody who was doing a temp role in the Civil Service for a number of years and kept making applications to get the same role on a permanent basis whenever they had recruitment rounds, but never got it as she was terrible at the process. She asked me to review her written application and it wasn't answering the questions with STAR examples in the way that she needed to. I spent time explaining it her but I don't think she really got it. It didn't matter that she was currently doing the same job and had been for several years. It's just how it works.

I am a bit confused though that you have done recruitment but seem to be saying you needed time to remind yourself of how STAR works. I would have thought that would have been drilled into your brain after that.

I advise my team to keep logs of their examples so that they have something half-ready if a promotion round comes up. If your keen to stay in the civil service then I would dust yourself off, learn from this, and polish your examples ready for next time.

You shouldn’t feel humiliated about anything! Taking a step back to focus on family isn’t humiliating and no one (accept may be you) will think anything deeper about it.

I don’t think you are ready yet to step back up. You said yourself it has been a shit year with so much going on, you are seeing a therapist, not sleeping and probably depressed. No one is going to shine in an interview in these circumstances and now is not the right time.

I agree solely going on the interview is crap as it allows bullshitters too much benefit, but taking into account internal work can have problems with favouritism. There is no perfect system.

The most posts I read the more I think this workplace dodged a bullet.

If you're feeling too unwell mentally to go to work, then this doesn't need to be justified by whether your employer has been fair to you. Conversely, if you feel badly treated at work, going off sick is not a solution to the employment problem.
If you feel going to work will make you feel more unwell then check your sickness policy and call in sick. You'll need to make a GP appointment as they'll expect a fit note after a day or so.
See how you feel then and whether you want to look at whether things could be improved for you in that job or whether it's time to move on.

“they gave the job to the best candidate, I’m sorry that wasn’t you and doing it five years ago doesn’t mean it is still you or you’re entitled to it.”

Largely bollocks. They gave it to the person that interviewed best on the day. Doesn’t mean the person is better at the actual role or a good fit.

You can’t predict the future Op. Have a vision about what you want and work towards it. Maybe a side hustle if it’s money or take a sabbatical and take your son on an adventure in the summer. Whatever you want. Don’t dwell.

None of what you’ve said in your OP is unfair. I actually laughed at a couple of things like only having a week to prepare and complaining about not being given time at work to create a presentation.

It’s usually public sector jobs where people go off sick I’ve noticed. Less pull to do so if you’re not being paid in full.

It sounds like you expected a lot from your employer - time to prepare the presentation, an awareness of your personal circumstances but that’s not realistic in a recruitment process that will likely involve external candidates.

It’s shit but it sounds like the timing was all wrong for you, and I wonder how able you’d be to move into a new role given the other challenges you have just now. You sound sore, understandably so, but you know it’s what happens on the day rather than their knowledge of you day to day that matters. If you need time off then take it but try to separate that from not getting the job, because you’ll drive yourself mad.