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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying and making up excuses

37 replies

Emmmreallt · 18/03/2026 00:03

Am lc with partner family as too much drama , partner told his family I am not coming to his adult daughter birthday party as I have to look after my stepmother on that day as she is currently ill . Am Aibu to think he should leave my family out of it and should make up either another excuse or tell the real version?

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 18/03/2026 02:35

Well the truth is that you're not going because you don't like his family. "Too busy" just means you are prioritising doing something (anything) else. I would normally encourage telling the truth but if he has to be the person delivering the message I rather think he gets to decide what to say. Why are you not making your own apology for not attending?

Helplessandheartbroke · 18/03/2026 02:04

YABU by not going. Its his daughter

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 18/03/2026 02:01

No one is being dragged in to anything, your boyfriend is saying you’re helping someone connected to a parent, no one is going to give it any thought, it’s fine.

BauhausOfEliott · 18/03/2026 01:13

What difference does it make? What’s the point in stirring things by saying ‘She won’t come because she doesn’t like you’? Honestly, you’re making me wonder whether it’s actually you, rather than your partner’s family, who is the difficult one here.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/03/2026 01:01

Emmmreallt · 18/03/2026 00:21

Maybe just say I’m busy as opposed to drag someone who is sick into it ?

It doesn’t drag them into anything… unless you tell them they probably don’t even no they’ve been mentioned

Original poster
Emmmreallt · 18/03/2026 00:21

Maybe just say I’m busy as opposed to drag someone who is sick into it ?

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 18/03/2026 00:13

What is it that you want him to say? I think it's pretty normal to give an excuse in situations like that, "she's not coming because she doesn't like you" seems a bit unnecessary?

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 18/03/2026 00:12

'my girlfriend won't be coming because she doesn't like you and thinks you're dramatic.'
Seems like it would guarantee a dramatic reply?

Explosive diarrhoea is always a good excuse to not attend something.

Yellowteeth · 18/03/2026 00:09

YANBU I hate pointless lying. Why can’t people just tell the truth FFS

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/03/2026 00:07

I’ve read it, it doesn’t make sense. What do you want him to tell them?

Original poster
Emmmreallt · 18/03/2026 00:05

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/03/2026 00:04

I can’t even tell what you want him to do from that post.

The last line ?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/03/2026 00:04

I can’t even tell what you want him to do from that post.