Daughter (13) has pierced own ears

I still have a beautifully designed and well thought out tramp stamp with the deep & meaningful word “love” my still best friend tattooed on me with a compass and smashed biro, I’d have been about 13 and we were on detention. So naturally we needed a prison tattoo to mark the occasion.
I did one on her ankle which her mother noticed and my friend then picked the skin off and it didn’t stay. I still have a small wonky heart and love lightly scarred.
I also let her piece my nose with a piercing gun she acquired from fuck knows where. I had this great big earring sticking out,it must have looked dreadful 😂

I did think the same tbh.

Some girls used those drawing pins they had in primary to do their ears (they were younger and it was in the most common place, the lobe). As far as I knew everyone was fine, but then no one seemed to think about infections then! Seem to remember the Supergirl film mentioned self-piercing, and doubtless there's lots of things they see online. As everyone says, not much you can do now really.

This, my mum didn't react well to me piercing my own nose thank god I changed my mind about my lip but was fine in the end but her immediate reaction to things like that that are a bit daft but not the end of the world, yelling and punishing me, meant that if I needed help with something that id done she wasn't the first person I went too, if I was stranded after drinking too much at 17, I was too scared of a telling off so made stupider mistakes (cars with strangers...) to avoid it. Don't be that person to her.

It's not a big deal really, she could've been more sensible and got it done at a reputable place but she didn't, no one died, no one made a life altering mistake and no ones in jail. She didn't deserve that reaction.

Same thinking

My grandmother did that! She lived into her late 80s.

I would not be too concerned.

My first was done at 3 days old i and 3 in each ear by 10 and 7 by age 14.
Went on to have other piercings, my mother said thank god it was not ink.
I only have one pair of studs in now and my lady jane.

I did the sameat a similar age. Actually, a friend did it for me one lunchtime, sitting on the classroom windowsill. My third hole in my right ear. Hid it from my mum for about 4 years I think and still have it today. I couldn’t get as worked up as you have - at least she tried to be hygienic about it. As a Head of Year I see far worse acts of teen rebellion every day.

My DD did the same, at 14. Brave and plucky, I thought. I wasn't cross at all although her father wasn't impressed. I took her the same afternoon to buy a pair of hyperallergenic earrings, then the following morning to the local tattooist so they could be checked. I wanted to make sure the risk of infection was minimised. The tattooist said 'Don't tell your mum but you'xve done a good job.'

There are plenty of things to get mad about but this isn't one of them.

She is a rock star and will go far! What a legend. Shades of Debbie Harry.

Loads of kids do this.

remember when kids did
their own tattoos with a compass and ink cartridge?

😅

That's an overkill reaction and punishment. If thats your reaction to self pierced ears, how is she going to approach you with something really serious? This is not a hill you want to die on. Pick your battles.

My 16 yr old daughter came home with her nose pierced by her friend. I definately was not happy and made it known to her but told her my concerns were about an infection and cross contamination. I definately didn't blow my top but made her promise not to do something like this again unless with a professional. In a few years time she'll be able to go into shops and do this herself. My job is to ensure her safety and to help navigate her way through life.

Why were you angry? In the scheme of things piercing your own ears really isn't a big deal, several of my friends did it as teenagers.

Being 13 is really hard, I think you should apologise for going over the top with your raft of punishments and give her a hug. Don't drive her away with overreactions, I had to learn this too.

Back in the 80s it was the norm to pierce ears in the school loos and I was at a bloody convent 😅

I have a feeling a lot of us did this as teens😂 don’t be that hard on her! That’s a rather large list of punishments

I think you’ve overreacted. It wasn’t great decision making but it’s not the end of the world.

You haven't said what your issue is. It's not as if she didn't have piercings already. Now she's never going to show you her tattoo!!

... oh, and actually, I've just remembered the short-lived, slightly wonky, eyebrow piercing when I was 17.

At least you can take piercings out, and let them heal up, if you don't want them any more. The same can't be said for a neck tattoo, obviously. ;)

Eh? What a random set of proper punishments for something that doesn't actually harm anyone. Why are you so furious about it?

Do a 180 on your perspective on this: You’ve got a daughter who has enough bravery to work around the restrictions on her to get what she wants - even if it involves her own short term discomfort.

So tell her off and confiscate things to teach a lesson, but inside be proud.

It's done now. Just keep it clean, and watch there's no issues with swelling, etc. Yes, she shouldn't have done it, but this all seems like a wee bit of over-reaction. It wouldn't have made me feel keen to share things with my parents as a teenager, anyway.
(But, I'm also the person who let someone pierce the top cartilage of my ear in a bar, with vodka, a needle and an ice cube, when I was backpacking.....)

2, 3. Not much difference

I am afraid lots of girls do this. At school usually.
They are teenagers and love to push the boundaries. It’s OK, try not to show her how hacked off you are.

This. I did mine the night before my mock Maths O’level (like GCSEs in Scotland) - it was weeping haemo-serous fluid and throbbing like hell all through the exam. My exam paper was all sticky with the fluidy/bloody fingerprints from me trying to stem the flow. I completely flumped the exam but it taught me an important life lesson - only pierce your own body parts at home with a needle and an ice cube if you don’t have an important exam/meeting/interview/occasion the next day.

To make you feel better my dd had hers done at a very reputable tattoo shop (needle) and she got infected 3 weeks (!) later, so personally in my opinin, its all about aftercare and not "how" it was done.