Daughter (13) has pierced own ears

Ahh that’s what I thought but it didn’t come up when I googled it. I’ve changed internet providers and turns out they’ve turned automatically turned safe search on

Good for apologizing for being so harsh. You set a good example of what to do when you overreact.

That said, she's 13 and I can see why she wouldn't run another piercing by you because she's already got some. She's got body autonomy. I think you should give her phone back to if you haven't.

Another Well Done to you, EllaMozzarella.
You modelled so much that was positive to her; your reaction was strong enough for her to (hopefully) take her responsibilities to herself more seriously. And your maturity & thoughtfulness in reducing this is also meaningful as it shows how you’ve thought it all through & decided to be gentler with her. Given you’ve been so close for so long, I think your handling of this mini-drama will have only strengthened your relationship. She is very fortunate to have you as her Mum.

If it’s not like her to be secretive, does she actually think she was secretive about this? Or did she just not think it was a big deal and therefore didn’t mention it? She might also have been a bit embarrassed because she maybe knew it wasn’t most sensible thing to do.

I think you did the right thing apologising, it’s not always easy.

Well done @EllaMozarella

Sometimes as Mum's it's hard not to lose perspective-you did a great job recovering on this one.

You always want to be the person she will come to so you being too heavy handed may stop her telling you things-but sounds like you have a great relationship!

Or the:

Look mum no hands
Look mum no teeth
😀

I grew up with three brothers and we were masters at riding our bikes without holding onto the handles. Our mum loved this phrase and used it often.

While on the topic, my eldest brother had both legs and an arm in plaster at one time. This was not from a BMX incident however, this was the unfortunate ending to him being rolled down a hill inside a tractor tube.

Now I think about it, he didn't even have a wheelchair to use. He shuffled around and we pushed him around outside in the wheelbarrow. We had wooden floors and we would pull him up and down the hall on a sleeping bag.

My poor mum. No wonder she was happy when we all cleared off to our own houses 😂

I must be a total wimp because that scares me! No way could I do it myself. 😬
I don't know about punishing her...
at 14 I used money that was meant for school clothes to get another ear piercing instead. 🤷‍♀️

I read this earlier, and I am still laughing about the sausage.

😂

Reminded me of the time my brother and his friends had made their own bmx track and when he came home to get his bmx to ride on it and my mum said “don’t come running to me when you break both your legs” 😂

he told her he couldn’t run anywhere with 2 broken legs anyway and left haha

Piercing your ears with a needle is almost like a right of passage. I did mine at that age with ice, a needle and an apple. It’s not something I could get upset about

punishments are beyond extreme

My friends and I did this years ago! We got a frozen sausage to hold behind the ear then went in to the lobe with a needle that we had sterilised with a match flame.

As a professional body piercer, this is how i started! There's good money to be made in it, cut her some slack!!!

i did my own ear also when a teenager, ice cube and sterilised needle through a flame, people used to come up to me at school with a safety pin asking me to do their ears! #
i had no punishment at all.

I added three holes to my right ear using an ice cube and piercing studs when I was 14, and two of them are still usable! My mum was strict and kind of hit the roof (I was pleased because I wanted to shock her - complicated relationship), but even she didn’t punish me.

She said "Don't come running when it gets infected

And this phrase was all of our mum's rite of passage into raising a teenager 😂

Doing your own piercing is a rite of passage into the teenage years.

The punishments you have dished out seem rather extreme.

I think I'd rather have a teen taking intitative and experimenting a little in life, than a cotton wool wrapped child who dares to try something new.

Just keep communication open and suggest she clean them with salt water. And be proud that you have a very normal teenager.

I did my seconds at about age 12 myself with a needle and an ice cube 🤣

Ah granted I was older than 13, but I definitely remember getting my ears pierced a second time at 15 and my mum also was not happy (though I didnt DIY them!) and then at 18 I quite confidently walked into the tattoo/piercing studio fullin intent on getting a tattoo and then chickened.our and got my ears pierced for the 3rd time!

I will say though as far as life regrets go, ear piercings are VERY VERY low on the list!!!

Honestly at the end of the day, piercings can heal. I haven't really worn earrings for about 13 years of my current job and my second and third ear piercings have basically healed up now (I can occasionally if needed force some earrings into the original -wonky!-piercings though!

In the grand scheme of things whilst it's a little disappoining she went behind your back and did it herself you can at least know that it technically isn't permanent!

you have really overreacted. It’s just a teenage thing to do.

out of interest, had she asked you to get the 2nds done ? Lots of my friends pierced their own ears. I didn’t because I asked my mum and she took me to get the 2nds done professionally.

Mu mum banned me from having a second hole so I did my own. 38 years on I still love them and have a bit of a 'fuck you' moment 🤣

Btw it's really easy especially if you numb it with ice first!

I wouldn't punish her for this, certainly not to the extent you have. At the same age my friend and I pierced each other's by forcing through a pair of studs. We didn't even clean them.

Calm down! If my Mother had over reacted like that when I was a teenager I would probably have come home covered in tattoos just to wind her up. (She learned quick after I dyed my hair purple 😆).

I think that’s really extreme reaction and harsh punishments for something that’s a bit stupid but not life changing. Make sure they are clean and tell her off but don’t be so hard she’ll never come to you again ( she hid it for a reason and you’ve reinforced that )

I pierced 2 of my friends' ears in the school toilet at the same age. I wouldn't let them do it to me because a) my Mum would have killed me and b) I was a secret woos!