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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being a bitch- seeing results

204 replies

hotgirlsummer26 · 17/03/2026 20:19

Has anyone else realised that once you start putting your foot down and saying no, people tend to start to listen?

I was very much a people pleaser up until this year when I snapped and thought, enough is enough. I’ve seen my relationship change for the better (literally tell him to piss off when he tells me to wear makeup and the guy just accepts it, whereas before I used to go running to fix my face).

In-laws used to pop over whenever suited them and expected me to stay and host them as did husband. Now I just walk out saying I have errands to run.

Same thing with parenting clubs, a mum who used to make digs at me like “your daughter eating fruit in the morning, has she not had her breakfast?” And now I just reply saying, she likes her fruit and has had porridge for breakfast thanks. No more comments from her.

There has been backlash, husband saying no one wants to come over anymore, that I look a state (cut my hair short because I wanted to and he hates it), Some side eye from some mums- but overall just a general improvement in my quality of life!

Anyone else experience this or have I turned into one of those bitchy people no one likes and will probably die alone :) ? Although honestly at this point, I wouldn’t care- I feel so light and care free!

AIBU- nice is the way
AINBU- no one listens to nice

OP posts:
AmberTigerEyes · 17/03/2026 20:22

That doesn’t sound like being a bitch to me. It sounds like you’re being assertive.

IPM · 17/03/2026 20:22

I think it's ridiculous really that you're equating being firm with the awful phrase 'being a bitch'.

I think you have a lot more work to do.

Ditching the twat you're married to may help.

Swissmeringue · 17/03/2026 20:21

This doesn't sound like you're being a bitch, it sounds like you're establishing boundaries and not letting people walk all over you. Though tbh I'd go one step further and put any man who told me I looked a state and should put some makeup on directly in the bin.

FussyFancyDragon · 17/03/2026 20:21

It sounds like you should have been telling him to piss off a long time ago.

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