Should I ask my DS and his girlfriend for money

I'm glad to see the comment has been deleted by MN.

Im personally not sure what's worse at the moment. The benefit digs or the mental health digs. Mental health can be genetic/hereditary and there are people queueing up to put "anxiety" in brackets as if they don't believe its a mental health condition

Throwing them on the streets isn't going to give them a lesson in reality.
There are plenty of parents who don't for one reason or another ask their adult kids for money but money is obviously tight.

Obviously the mum needs more money as she's on benefits herself but the gf will be on 316 a month by the sounds of it. Her son if he gets disability benefits will be on more (although she's not said what benefit).

It's not up to anyone on here to tell the OP to throw her son out.

Not only were they taking the OP for a mug, they are taking taxpayers for it. Their attitude is that there is money around (I.e you bought a phone) so why shouldn’t you pay (and the rest of us) pay for me. I would tell her to leave with her 30 quid a week, and would hope that the anxiety ridden son would leave with her. They are freeloaders who need a sharp lesson in reality.

That's uncalled for. You don't have the right to tell the OP they have failed as a parent.

Can people not read the full thread?

There are different levels of illness. I have a friend who is partially sighted (missing one eye entirely after an assault and partially sighted in the other from a degenerative eye condition) and has ADHD so he is entitled to full disability benefits. He manages to do the occasional bit of work for family members, but he'd really struggle in a proper job. Frankly, I'm not sure he'd be safe in most workplaces. But there are people with sight impairments to manage. My FIL has severe bipolar. He has lived in a car with a dog (sometimes 2) for over 20 years. He can't even manage living in a regular house. He cannot function in society, and has got less functional as the years have gone on. But there are absolutely people with bipolar who manage full-time work, and there are people in-between, where they aren't living on the fringes of society, but also couldn't hold down work. Then you've got the fact that, despite legislation, disability discrimination absolutely happens. I've stopped declaring my disability on application forms because it just feels like saying "please discrimate against me" - I have a 95% hit rate in getting interviews generally, but it's only about 30% when I tick the disability box. I've even had an incident where I asked for the questions ahead of time for an interview as a reasonable adjustment - they gave me them 40 minutes in advance, but I found out the other candidates for them 24 hours in advance!

Please leave her alone. She has enough on her plate. Stating that she should kick her son out and his gf when they have stated that they will pay rent is ridiculous.

And don't tell someone they are a failure as a parent because their adult child has apparent anxiety. He's on disability benefits. He's been assessed by the dwp.

She's had enough criticism on here to date and it's getting too personal

You’ve lost me.

You don't get the housing element if you live at home. I claimed UC between graduation and getting my first job. My parents made me for the 'stamps' (it really wasn't worth the hassle otherwise). I only got £20 a week because they lopped off loads because I had a £10k mortgage deposit I'd saved during uni, and then I didn't qualify for the housing element as I lived at home.

Can they afford to pay you if they’re on benefits? They won’t get much. Far better solution would be to move the girlfriend and cats out again.

She is charging them and they've agreed to pay.

Your bipolar isn't anything to be ashamed of. I would be very surprised if they mentioned it at an interview but they might ask you to fill in a health questionnaire. Please don't let this be a big issue.

No, i paid 'housekeeping' after I finished uni (not as much as rent but a contribution none the less). If they are living in your house, pushing up the cost of your utilities, then charge them. Do you feed them and the cats? If they are her cats she should be covering the cost of their care.,

Some employers ask about mental health history during the employment process.

Best of luck!

I don't disclose my Bipolar or other disabilities unless I am offered the job 🙂

Obviously you adhere to HMRC guidelines. You also agree with them now historically

I think they're taking the P to be honest.

I will always support my kids, but I wouldn't allow them to freeload, especially with a partner, and I absolutely wouldn't be allowing them to bring pets to make a mess in my home. You're not being unreasonable at all.

I'd give them a time frame to find their own place and try to help them getting into work. I have mental health issues (Bipolar plus several other conditions), I'm neurodivergent and have other invisible disabilities but I still work. I do think a lot of people have jumped on the anxiety bandwagon because it's an "easy way" to get out of working, which really doesn't help the stigma surrounding things like anxiety and depression.

The amount expected by HMRC as I do myself. Otherwise I do not understand your question.

OK, taken your opinion on board. A question how much tax do you think a person should pay?

They'd have to pay rent somewhere else so yes, they should be giving g you some money. I charge my 23 year old £200 a month because otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford anything!

Incorrect. You need to look earlier in the thread than that. And what is "A a %" ? 🙄 What drivel.