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Asking school if my 5-year-old can leave five minutes early

64 replies

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:40

I’ve booked theatre tickets for ds(5) on Thursday. The show starts at 4 so after school but like a lot of primary schools there tends to be a lot of traffic and it can take a while to get out.

I am wondering if it would be reasonable to ask if he can leave five minutes early to miss the traffic. Or would this be too disruptive for the other children in the class? I’m going to ask tomorrow if the consensus on here is that it’s OK so need to know now.

OP posts:
isthatmytrainleaving · 18/03/2026 07:17

He will have his afternoon mark for attendance in the register. Ds had a regular appointment at the hospital every couple of months and we would literally book it so he got his afternoon registration mark then 15 minutes he would be leaving school premises.

Tell them he is going to the theatre, he will talk about it anyway, they always do.

Beyondjourneysend · 18/03/2026 07:13

Non event and really don't lie. You are overthinking it. Why would you lie? They are not going to refuse to hand him over whatever the reason. And it is unlikely to be marked down anywhere - there isn't a 'left early' mark like a 'late'. Kids leave class for toilet, for interventions, for testing all the time. As long as it isn't something you are doing regularly unlikely to piss the school off - I suspect they will be excited for him going to the theatre.

Our primary school made a fuss of our two when we took them out an hour early to beat the traffic on way to a weekend at a Haven resort.

Wheelz46 · 18/03/2026 07:11

I would be honest and not say it's for a medical appointment as previous posters have suggested. We have always had to provide proof with appointment cards or letters.

Although our appointments have always been after registration and more through the day so they may not ask for proof to leave 5 minutes early but you never know.

StrawberryElephants · 18/03/2026 07:01

I'd ask for 20 mins... 5 mins they're in the midst of packing up so unlikely to think "better get Anna out NOW" whereas 20 mins theres more breathing space.

Sirzy · 18/03/2026 06:57

I work in a reception class and my only comment would be “have a wonderful time we can’t wait to hear all about it”

I would actually make it 10-15 mins early just to give yourself some leeway.

BeanQuisine · 18/03/2026 06:56

It's a school, not the Gestapo. Don't ask, just inform them that he'll be leaving early on that day.

chateauneufdupapa · 18/03/2026 06:52

It’s totally fine!

ACynicalDad · 17/03/2026 21:59

If they check in for the afternoon session it makes not a lot of difference to school. If you took him out at lunchtime it would count as a session missed I suspect that’ll be fine.

tellmesomethingtrue · 17/03/2026 20:35

Non event. Just email saying you’re collecting 15 mins early for an appointment.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/03/2026 20:30

I would also just say an appointment!

If she talks about it the next day you can always said it was after the appointment

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 20:17

Reception is literally next to the classroom; it’s a tiny school, only three classrooms and none are more than a few seconds away from reception, so not worried about that. I just don’t want to cause any disruption for the teachers.

OP posts:
itispersonal · 17/03/2026 19:26

Deffo ask. I’d be another that says I’d say for more than 5 mins early. Those last 10 mins at school can be chaos whilst everyone gets ready for home time and there might not be a member of staff to bring them across to reception etc.
I’d deffo do more 15/20 mins

ItsameLuigi · 17/03/2026 19:25

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:51

@itsmeits I’m so sorry I genuinely don’t understand your second paragraph, (it’s been a long day!) could you explain?

Just say he's got the dentist and you need to collect early. Give plenty of time tho for them to collect from the classroom, costs toilet etc. I'd do 15 mins early personally. If he mentions theatre and you get asked, you just say yeah we had dentist then theatre lol. Nothing will happen anyway it's fine

Coursechange · 17/03/2026 19:23

Do it, but make it 15mins early in case the staff who will need to get him are busy (especially if there is another child leaving early, they may have routines for him they can’t change).

itsmeits · 17/03/2026 19:21

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:51

@itsmeits I’m so sorry I genuinely don’t understand your second paragraph, (it’s been a long day!) could you explain?

Apologies for confusion
@JustGiveMeReason post explains what I was trying to say, in a much easier way to understand

SparkyBlue · 17/03/2026 19:14

Why would you even need to ask? I’d go into 15 mins early as 5 mins might be awkward. I’m not in England so the idea of having to query this is just baffling to me.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 17/03/2026 19:08

I’d make it 15 minutes. Five minutes hardly seems worth it.

Kirbert2 · 17/03/2026 18:57

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:56

Right! Oh, we just go in and get them at DS’s school; it’s tiny Smile

That might not be the case if you pick up early.

splagne · 17/03/2026 18:57

I'm a teacher. School can't really refuse to hand over your child. It's a non-issue and they'll probably be delighted you're doing something cultured! It won't affect attendance because they'll have their register mark for the afternoon.

JustGiveMeReason · 17/03/2026 18:57

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:51

@itsmeits I’m so sorry I genuinely don’t understand your second paragraph, (it’s been a long day!) could you explain?

@itsmeits is pointing out that they won't have the child standing ready, in the office. When you get there, someone will have to go down the corridor to get them, then she will have to get her coat and bag (potentially could be in PE or the library or another classroom for some reason as well), then come back down to you. You need to build in extra time for that, so don't rock up 5mins before the bell, say you need her 15mins before, and you will stand a chance of getting moving 5mins earlier.

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:56

Right! Oh, we just go in and get them at DS’s school; it’s tiny Smile

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 17/03/2026 18:55

bringmethespring · 17/03/2026 18:51

@itsmeits I’m so sorry I genuinely don’t understand your second paragraph, (it’s been a long day!) could you explain?

pp is saying that when you collect them early, it can actually take a while for someone to go up and get them so give yourself a bit of time for that too.

NormasArse · 17/03/2026 18:55

It’ll be absolutely fine. Go 15 minutes early- you’ll need to collect him from the school reception, so it won’t impact the other children at all.

sixsept · 17/03/2026 18:55

I would definitely ask but I'd be honest! I doubt they'll mind and you want your DS to be able to talk about it the next day.

ACIGC · 17/03/2026 18:54

It'll be fine. I took my daughter out for a whole afternoon last year because we could only get decent tickets for the matinee. Also at her school there is one kid who misses the last 40 mins of every day because she has to get to her dance lessons. 5 mins is nothing. Enjoy your show.

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