Am I over sensitive

@Ceci693 you’re not being over sensitive at all! Don’t start making excuses / allowances for him either such as him having a hard week at work etc… we all have hard weeks at work but it doesn’t mean we act like arses at the weekend with those we are supposed to be close to!

You paid for a lovely 2 night break away for his birthday and he sounds like an ungrateful prick! Cancelling dinner and falling asleep at 7pm on a fully paid for weekend away is disrespectful to say the least. Frankly, I’d have packed my bag, left him there to sleep and gone home. I’d also have demanded a refund! Did he even apologise or thank you for paying for the weekend?

Also, what was the reason for him setting the alarm for 6am? He then had the cheek to demand sex when he woke up (I hope you refused btw). Then he called you lazy. Don’t be a mug and don’t allow yourself to be treated like this again. You deserve better.

I don’t think you are being sensitive. I’d be sad if my DH didn’t want to make the most of our time away never mind a BF who I only see once in a blue moon. We tend to have a cheeky nap in the afternoon but definitely go out for food and drinks- even if we come back to the room early.

You must of felt very lonely stuck in that room. I’d of felt used for a very comfortable nights sleep at my expense.

I think I’d be thinking this relationship had run its course, realistically you should have been ripping each others threads off after such a short time not snoring the bloody night away!

You are witholding your feelings to placate him, this is not healthy. I had one like this and he drained me for two years, get out now while you can. Everything will always be on his terms. That is not fair.

And I am concerned about you not talking to him cos he might get defensive, this isn't normal. You need to address that.

He sounds like a sexist twat. And talk about double standards! He spends half the holiday asleep but you're the lazy one?!

Tbh though you should have woken (or tried to wake) him a couple of hours after he went for what I'm presuming was meant to be a nap. Just accepting he's asleep from 5pm onwards seems odd. Both of you would be missing out on doing something nice.

If you didn't want to wake him (again it makes little sense you didn't on holiday) you should've tried to make the most of it and at least gone for dinner or exploring a bit alone.

Not that I'm excusing him from having the audacity to call you a lazy woman!?

I think you can safely say he's not the one for you. Time to part ways as soon as possible I'd say.

Yes, probably keeping you sweet for the next time he wants a free bunk up in an hotel and a shag.

Oh, well as long as he had a lovely time, all is well.

From what you have said it sounds like you are already walking on eggshells when you are with him, that's no way to live.
I wouldn't want to get too close to someone like that.

OP, you've only been seeing this man for six months (actually, looking at your previous posts, you only had your first date with him five months ago), you live 3.5 hours apart, is miserable and unappreciative of you booking a nice hotel and arranging dinner for his birthday, expected you to get up at 6am simply because HE had had enough sleep, insulted you and called you 'lazy woman' because you didn't want sex after two hours sleep AND he's such a dick when you express your feelings that he's left you scared to argue with him.

This isn't a good relationship. At all. You only see this man a couple of times a month at most, and you've only been together five months, so you've only actually had about, what, 8 - 10 actual meetings? And it's already like this?

Seriously, in a long-distance relationship with someone you've only had a few actual dates with, things should be at the loved-up, butterflies in the stomach when you see them, can't keep your hands of each other, staying up all night shagging and talking phase. It should not be like... well, like whatever this is. Do yourself a favour and ditch him. This isn't good and there's enough red flags here to make a string of bunting.

I would get rid of him too.
The defensive behaviour would be the final nail in the coffin. Basically he can insult you to your face and call you lazy for not doing what he wants when he wants. But you are walking on eggshells not daring to say anything to him at all about how you feel.

But there was already a long list of things that would have pissed me off.
Totally unappreciative of a lovely and no doubt not cheap birthday trip.
Rudely rejected a dinner reservation you had thoughtfully made.
Went to sleep at 7.15pm like a fucking toddler. Tired after a week at work, oh please.
Left his alarm set for 6am with no consideration for you.
Pestered you for sex when you needed to sleep (ok for him to sleep when he wants to but you are "lazy").
Was champing to get up and go home at 6am!!! Why? Surely part of the treat is a leisurely hotel breakfast.

I've never met him and he's annoyed me anyway.

I think you should just tell him that it was disappointing that you didn't make the most of your time in the hotel and can he get up later in the day for the next meet up to meet you half way with your insomnia. And you could let him know that it's not laziness on your part it's insomnia which you can't help

Well, that's not healthy. You should be able to discuss things
Does he always get defensive in other situations and do you always back down for fear of upsetting him?

It's a bit worrying if you're scared to express any dissatisfaction in case of 'a big argument'. Is he unpleasant / aggressive when there's any disagreement?

That, combined with him refusing to go to dinner with you and calling you a 'lazy woman, makes me suspect he isn't a very nice man at all.

He sounds absolutely awful. Why do you think this is the best you can do?!

Absolutely this!
YANBU, op, he's behaved really badly! People like this really annoy me....you've made the effort and bought him a really nice gift, you've gone away together, and then he makes zero effort and falls asleep at 7.15....sod that! He could've slept at home!
If someone goes to all that effort, you suck up the tiredness and get on with having a great time.
And don't get me started on the fact he woke up and wanted sex despite falling asleep on you the night before....he's a bit of a dickhead, isn't he op?

But why would do you think it would cause a big argument if you broach your feelings @Ceci693 ?

I think he took you for granted here.. you did a nice thing for him and paid for the hotel.. he acted quite ungratefully and then was rude to you. I would probably suggest not paying for him next time, he didn’t appreciate it.

He doesn't sound nice. I actually wonder whether you're my exH's girlfriend, because this sounds suspiciously like the way he used to behave. Personally, if he was asleep and snoring by 7.30, I would have gone out and found a pub or a nice wine bar or something. Fuck sitting in the room on my own with Sleeping Beauty snoring away.

People saying the OP shouldn't have 'stayed up' until 4am are missing the point that she couldn't sleep. It's not like she went out clubbing. She had insomnia.

If I was staying in a nice hotel for a couple of nights, I would be pretty pissed off if my DP refused to go out for dinner and just ate snacks in the room and then went to sleep at 7pm like a toddler. I get that he was tired but it would definitely give me (and yes, I know some people hate this term, but it's useful shorthand for exactly what I mean) 'the ick'. To me it just screams 'feeble, fragile wet blanket' and that isn't the kind of man I can find attractive.

Also, no wonder he's bloody tired if he's the sort of person who wants to get up and start the day at 6am when's got the day off work and doesn't need to check out of his hotel until midday. He could have had dinner the previous night and stayed up until a more grown-up hour and caught up on his sleep in the morning. It's a waste of the hotel room to go to sleep at 7pm and then want to be up and out at the crack of dawn.

Also, he was a complete cunt to call the OP 'lazy' when he couldn't be arsed to go out to dinner and he was asleep at 7pm in a hotel room she had paid for.

"Yeh looks like I am being over sensitive. I suppose I wanted to make the most of our time together but a big portion was spent sleeping."

Why are you letting yourself be convinced you were over sensitive? You have a right to feel disappointed.
If your boyfriend can't manage to enjoy a two-night stay in a hotel , which you had arranged and paid for as a birthday treat...unless he is 90 years old or suffering from some debilitating illness....it is HIM who is in the wrong, not you.

I don't think you are necessarily incompatible, maybe you can talk to him about trying to stay up later with you next time. Maybe he could sleep in the day you meet if it's possible

Poor effort on his part. Everyone gets tired sometimes. Most people work hard. Suck it up when someone has put in a lot of time, effort and money on you.