To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

Just say what the country is called now. How many British kids are going to be au fait with eastern European history?

My Polish family live in a part of the country that changed hands several times, including during my father in law's life. We've never said anything other than that the family is from Poland.

Saying that your children come from 'Eastern European countries' will have immediately made people curious. If you'd just picked the country that the region is in now, no-one would have cared to show any more interest.

I’m so sorry this has happened to your child/ children and is happening to you all OP. This should have no place in a decent society.

”London” should absolutely be an answer to the question “where are you from”. But London children in my experience usually know this is an offensive question! Most of my son’s school are not white, and no one would dream of asking anyone this.

If they actually do want to invent a county to be from (and I can’t believe I’m even typing this) the obvious answers are Italy, Greece, Malta. Malta might be the best as UK people don’t know a lot about it, or a small island off Malta called Gozo (my best friend at secondary was from Malta/ Gozo).

I am Italian by heritage and many, many people think I’m Jewish, so the reverse should also be true.

But I really hope for your sake your second child doesn’t come across this utterly unacceptable behaviour, and the grotesque failure to act by the school.

I’m just so sorry this is even a thing for your children, it’s horrible. Says a lot about how racism towards Jews has become so normalised. It’s disgusting.

Just repeat: London, I was born here. My parents /grandparents were originally from "whatever country sounds plausible for their appearance. " Maybe Greece?

Op, were you kids born in the UK? As you're not answering I'm leaning towards that they were?

I'm a traveller. I didn't admit this in secondary school, as I'd had a lot of problems in a primary school over it.

I didn't sound like a stereotypical traveller in accent by then and we were settled with my mum educated and in a professional job, so it was easy enough to avoid. I just said the city we lived in and stuck with it, I'd been born there after all, even if we hadn't stayed there very long until we settled... Whenever asked where my family were from, I said the same city for all my family. Didn't invite people home and didn't show photos of my childhood. Could your DC say the same? Just London. All from London for so long they don't actually know and nor does the family.

I'm sorry you all find yourselves in this situation. It's a horrible thing for you all to be considering. My best wishes to your family.

A significant number of people in London are not British born & do not look British (whatever that might be).

Normally, big nose, curly hair (tends to be darker) , and sometimes olive skin.

However, within my congregation they do come in all colours of the rainbow. My BFF is a redhead with blue eyes. There’s a couple with olive skin and straight dark hair.

"London" is not acceptable as an answer, as they don't look British"

What does a British person look like!? I don't know ......

The school need to be all over this. Most schools now have an ethic mix and come down hard on this. Get stuck in there - quote their safeguarding policy, speak to relevant governor. I would not let this lie. Give them hell - they cannot ignore racist bullying.

I am very anti segregated schools based on ethnicity or religion. That is not the way to have an integrated society. All schools need to make sure every child is safe and if they are not doing so they need to be taken to task.

No child should have to be ashamed of who they are and make stuff up to cover this up.

Me too. What makes a person look specifically Jewish, rather than just vaguely Mediterranean?

You shouldn't need a cover story. The school should be coming down on this like a ton of bricks. What are they actually doing?

People live in Britain from all over the world and they are British, unless they have a strong accent nobody will question it. If they are pushed say they have a Greek grandad of something. I’ve got friends with all kinds of ethnicities and nobody bats an eyelid, not these days. Perhaps I just live in more multicultural and liberal places

I'm so sorry that your dc has experienced this, OP. I don't have any advice for you, I'm afraid, but I'm outraged on your behalf that your older child's school has done nothing to respond to your concerns. Can you ask your local MP to intervene?

Not true. British can mean any colour or creed. The people asking are the problem.

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your dc. The Jew hate in this country at the moment is repugnant.

Genuine question because I don’t know many Jewish people apart from a few work colleagues, what makes them identifiably Jewish? I’ve never looked at my colleagues and thought there is anything that makes them stand out so I’m curious.

I’d go with “none of your f-ing business”

I’m sorry your children are being racially abused. When this happened to my son, school were all over it immediately. Have you escalated the issue to the school governors?

I'd complaint to school
not do this nonsense

If there is racist hate speech, I’d talk to the police. Might put a rocket up the school if nothing else.

What does a British person look like?

Palestinian, Jordanian, Lebanese, Syrian, Egyptian?

Not necessarily. As I said, saying they’re say Greek might satisfy the bullies as an explanation as to why they are darker toned/ Mediterranean.

there aren’t any Jews in Greece so it doesn’t signal confirmation of Jewishness

What an awful school. Have you contacted the governors??

OP what cover story were you thinking of? Is this going be sustainable when your daughter brings friends home etc? Asking her to lie, is a big commitment, even with understandable intentions.

Ex teacher

yes children of this age do do this.
schools should record racist incidents and have procedures in place to support victims and deal with perpetrators. They no longer have to report to the local authority however.

if the people in question are in secondary then involving the police may be appropriate.

I’m sorry you and your children are experiencing this.

My dh has catholic polish heritage and “looks” jewish (I strongly suspect his ancestors converted a few pogroms
ago). Ds1 also “looks” Jewish and has been hassled at school about it. He just shrugs and says he’s not, that he’s baptised Christian and that his grandad is Polish and that’s why he has a good tan. Do you want your children tp deny their heritage? If you’re not worried about that aspect they can say whatever they like to deny their religion.