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Original poster

Partner moves furniture and doesn't put it back

56 replies

boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 12:08

This is not a big thing but it leads me down a path of not being listened to properly. In our living room is a bay window with a table in it where I often like to sit in the mornings with a coffee or snack. My partner (we are both in our 70s) pulls this table back about a foot into the room in order to pull the curtains at night. He never replaces the table in the place where it normally sits. Same in the morning if it is him who opens them. I have multiple times requested that he pulls the table back in place afterwards. I mean multiple times. So I approach the table with my snack or coffee and I can't sit down before I have to push the table back into place. I absolutely know this sounds so trivial, but it is because he just won't do it! despite asking so many times. It makes me sound very pernickety. However it sort of annoys me at some deep level to come into the room and find the furniture not in the right place! I guess I will get called all variations of 'narrow-minded old henpecker' but hey ho.

OP posts:
GasperyJacquesRoberts · 17/03/2026 15:25

boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 14:55

Well thank you for all the practical solutions but I can see now that the main issue is the refusal to take on board my request to replace the table. The table is light and easy to push and pull. The curtains could be improved, but I think he should either walk around the table, or agree to put the table back where it belongs. To me it is just carelessness.

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You want the table in one place. He wants it in a different place. What makes you right and him wrong?

oviraptor21 · 17/03/2026 15:24

It's a badly designed room or furniture arrangement. He's probably fed up with it.
If it's that important to you that the table is in a certain place, why don't you sort it out before bringing your food through?

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 17/03/2026 15:21

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 17/03/2026 13:29

I don't have or want curtains. There are crap Venetian blinds left behind by the previous owner but they barely tilt, if anyone can see into my house they can cope, I'm sure 😀

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Wait so you have nothing in the windows at all? you lose a lot of heat through the windows, plus people can see in if you live somewhere busy, is this some new trend?

Anewerforest · 17/03/2026 15:18

Furniture has no right place, only the place that the householders agree to put it. Have a friendly chat about how the roon layout works best.

WallaceinAnderland · 17/03/2026 15:01

I couldn't get worked up over this. Maybe one day he won't be there and you'll come for your morning coffee and the fact that the table hasn't been moved will be a memory of him and his quirky ways. You might even miss that little table not being out of place.

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 14:58

boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 14:55

Well thank you for all the practical solutions but I can see now that the main issue is the refusal to take on board my request to replace the table. The table is light and easy to push and pull. The curtains could be improved, but I think he should either walk around the table, or agree to put the table back where it belongs. To me it is just carelessness.

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It doesn’t belong in any single place.
Your home is a shared space and the table equally belongs where he has left it.
Compromise is both sides bending, not one dictating.

GoldenCupsatHarvestTime · 17/03/2026 14:56

You need to arrange the house so it works for both of you. He shouldn’t have to move furniture to access the curtains tbh that’s just badly thought through.

I don’t think you’re a hen pecker. I do think this is an issue for both of you - I doubt he enjoys having to move the table multiple times a day to pull the curtains across. Rethink the space.

Original poster
boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 14:55

Shedmistress · 17/03/2026 13:38

I genuinely feel weird if the cutrains are not pulled at night. They are the first thing to get fitted if I move and there aren't any.

But I wouldnt want to keep moving a table every time I opened or closed them.

I'd move the table back, or swing it round so that I could access the curtains from the side. OP what is your solution to the table/curtain issue?

Well thank you for all the practical solutions but I can see now that the main issue is the refusal to take on board my request to replace the table. The table is light and easy to push and pull. The curtains could be improved, but I think he should either walk around the table, or agree to put the table back where it belongs. To me it is just carelessness.

OP posts:
Original poster
boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 14:51

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 17/03/2026 12:49

The table shouldn’t need moving to draw and open curtains, its clearly in the way yabu.

He doesn't want to walk around it to reach the other curtain.

OP posts:
Yardbrushes · 17/03/2026 14:51

Yes, that would bug me too.
Yanbu.

Original poster
boilinthebag · 17/03/2026 14:50

BruisedNeckMeat · 17/03/2026 13:41

The table must be really cramped in if you can’t even shut the curtains.

Could the curtains be closed with a pulley string type thing on a track? It sounds like a strange set up.

It's because he doesn't want to walk around the table to get to the other curtain. The table is close up to the window.

OP posts:
BruisedNeckMeat · 17/03/2026 13:41

The table must be really cramped in if you can’t even shut the curtains.

Could the curtains be closed with a pulley string type thing on a track? It sounds like a strange set up.

JanBlues2026 · 17/03/2026 13:39

If you want to keep the table there, get an electronic track for the curtains (you can get devices for existing curtains)

Shedmistress · 17/03/2026 13:38

I genuinely feel weird if the cutrains are not pulled at night. They are the first thing to get fitted if I move and there aren't any.

But I wouldnt want to keep moving a table every time I opened or closed them.

I'd move the table back, or swing it round so that I could access the curtains from the side. OP what is your solution to the table/curtain issue?

Pepperedpickles · 17/03/2026 13:38

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 13:24

I’m immediately suspicious of someone who sits in their living room in the evening during the dark winter months and doesn’t draw their curtains. Weird behaviour!

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I think it depends on the layout of your house really. We always draw the front curtains as that looks out onto a road but our back windows just overlook our own garden, which is secluded so we don’t pull the curtains shut for that side.

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 13:34

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 17/03/2026 13:29

I don't have or want curtains. There are crap Venetian blinds left behind by the previous owner but they barely tilt, if anyone can see into my house they can cope, I'm sure 😀

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I’m not concerned about seeing in, it just doesn’t feel remotely cosy at night with no curtains, plus it helps to retain heat.

Itsafactitsactual · 17/03/2026 13:32

I once had a boyfriend who didn't hear me when I asked him to pass the salt - I had to ask again.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 17/03/2026 13:30

Do you move it after use ready for when he needs to open or draw the curtains (not sure why it's his job specifically)? If not, why would you expect him to move it ready for you to use it where you want it?

I agree with PP that it sounds a massive, intolerable faff to have to keep moving a table at least twice every single day - it does strongly suggest that it isn't the most appropriate piece of furniture and/or in the appropriate place.

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 17/03/2026 13:29

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 13:24

I’m immediately suspicious of someone who sits in their living room in the evening during the dark winter months and doesn’t draw their curtains. Weird behaviour!

Show quote history

I don't have or want curtains. There are crap Venetian blinds left behind by the previous owner but they barely tilt, if anyone can see into my house they can cope, I'm sure 😀

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 13:24

Pepperedpickles · 17/03/2026 13:14

The curtains don’t need drawing, surely? I’d remove the curtains just to be petty 😁

I’m immediately suspicious of someone who sits in their living room in the evening during the dark winter months and doesn’t draw their curtains. Weird behaviour!

Pepperedpickles · 17/03/2026 13:14

The curtains don’t need drawing, surely? I’d remove the curtains just to be petty 😁

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 17/03/2026 13:04

If it's only a foot can't it stay moved out?

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 17/03/2026 13:01

'narrow-minded old henpecker'? I don't think any feminist would refer to another woman like that.
For some reason I found your post sad. Would living separately suit you and the boyfriend better?
This is meant to be the most peaceful time of your life, I can't imagine it's pleasant for you having a man in your house who refuses to make your life easier, unless this is his sole flaw?
Also, just leave the curtains, then no need for furniture to be moved twice a day.

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 17/03/2026 12:49

The table shouldn’t need moving to draw and open curtains, its clearly in the way yabu.

Talipesmum · 17/03/2026 12:45

ICanLiveWithIt · 17/03/2026 12:19

It would annoy me to have to move furniture to draw the curtains twice a day. Is it because the curtain pole/track goes in front of the bay, so the curtains cut it off from the room, rather than it following the curve of the window?

I bet your DH is thinking that he wishes that lump of furniture didn't go there and why you don't listen to him about it being in the way

Change the curtain pole situation or get blinds? Or you take over the job of daily curtain operative

Edited

I think this too. It’s not a good location for furniture if you have to move it twice a day to open and close curtains. Is it because it makes the curtains hard to reach? If so then change the track to one with a pull thing at the side, or add curtain poles to pull more easily.
If it’s the bay window thing then changing to a track that goes round the window rather than across?

Or changing to a smaller more portable coffee table on casters?