Childhood bedroom off limits?

Maybe the wife doesn’t want OP, a man, in her dressing area

Not reasonable of them but I can imagine it is very painful for you.

It's her closet so that's kind of similar. Either way it's 'hers' and not the OPs so it would be odd to assume a toddler could wander around in there. I've never let my kids just 'curiously explore' all around other people's homes. They hang out where they are invited to do so.

DD is now 2, very curious and likes exploring as you would expect.

That doesn't mean that they can go where they want to in someone else's house though!

Your dad's wife has put down a boundary & you don't like it.

It’s important for children to learn early the rules of other people’s space so they don’t go exploring around, messing with things and potentially hurting themselves. And a two year old is especially likely to ruin something expensive like cosmetics or to hurt themselves (or both).

I’d imagine if you asked if you could take your DD in to see your old bedroom briefly the answer would be probably be yes.

There is so much cloying sentiment (and one outright nutter!) on this thread!
It’s not OPs room any more, it’s function has changed so it doesn’t even look like a bedroom anymore more so what would be the point in showing the DD anyway? It’s not like she can hop on the memory lane train just by looking at the ceiling.
Also, stop letting your children roam around people’s houses willy nilly, it’s bloody rude

My children have left home & the bedroom door is locked regardless of who is visiting. Although I have nothing to hide I feel my bedroom is the one space I see as entirely my & my DHs sanctuary & I like it to remain that way. That means no children running in & out climbing on the bed etc. They are free to go anywhere else apart from our office room where we work which is also locked.

OP in this instance I would ask if it would be ok to show your daughter where you slept as a child. Other than that I feel your DFs wife has personal belongings in the room & is entitled to keep the room private.

If I’m hosting visitors I don’t want to have to worry about cleaning and making every room presentable. The downstairs yes but I would see absolutely no reason for guests to go upstairs and I wouldn’t want them just wandering off poking through every room.

Yes this may have been your home once upon a time but now it is your father and his wife’s home. Respect it.

Its not the OP’s bedroom, its not even his house. Its the step mother and father’s house to use as they wish.

Toddlers shouldn't be wandering around houses without permission from the people who actually live there. In this instance, permission wasn't given. The end.

It may be the end, practically, but it’s not the end of the feelings associated with it, which is what the post is about.

It’s not the mother-in-law’s bedroom.

@Agapornis any will prior to marriage will be null and void (in England anyway)

OP is actually male - first posts missed that and I havent read all of them. Not that it makes much difference, I guess I might be more upset by a step daughter rummaging in my wardrobe.

OP you've moved out, presumably years ago as you have a young child. It's not your house, it's no longer the room you remember and it shouldnt be, your security is now in your own home. I understand it feels a bit wierd, and it would be nice if there were pictures of what it looked like when it was yours - but you should move on.

Ah you beat me to it.
😂

.But also the idea that a wife of my father would interfere with the development of my child is also something that I would be kicking against.

OMG thank you!

I so needed a laugh today.

Is there still stuff belonging to you or your mum that you'd like to keep in the house? Has your dad updated his will since he got married?

I think it's time to take anything that is yours/your mum's back home with you, before it vanishes. If your dad hasn't updated his will, all his assets including the house will become hers.

YABVU.
Move on.
Life does.

I think YABU, it's not your room anymore and I don't understand why you want to show it to a 2 yo who isn't going to understand at all that it was your room. I think you should tr at their house how you would (presumably) want them to treat yours and I doubt you would want them poking around your house.

@ReadingSoManyThreads doesn't mean OP won't inherit.

YANBU

I'd feel pretty put out in your position. Sure, it's her home now, but it was your childhood home for 18 years! It's perfectly normal for you to be able to roam about the full house, other than their bedroom. I still go home and stay in my childhood bedroom when at my parents, I'd be furious if a parent remarried and I was no longer allowed upstairs!!

Do you have any siblings? I take it as your DF has remarried, you'll no longer be inheriting your childhood home, that's got to hurt too.

No idea why so many posters keep referring to you as a woman when you're clearly a Dad!

I would have assumed that as well, but obviously wasn’t.

They probably have a gimp installed there. This happen my old home. It was embarrassing and frankly I wish I’d never found out

Its the stepmother’s home, not the OP’s museum of childhood.

They’re married. It it just as much her house as his. They could have chosen to sell that house and start again elsewhere, it’s legally no different. It’s pretty awful to suggest this woman is nobody in her own home. If the thread was posted by the wife saying her DH considered their marital home “his house really” and that she had no control over who from his family went wandering around her bedrooms the replies would be uproar.

I would presume that the 2 year old would be supervised?