Childhood bedroom off limits?

Should have said grandchild.

My 2 year old went up my stairs decimated all my lipsticks and drew on the wall. So I will say you are being unreasonable.

Maybe the wife feels that this is her own private space, the bit that she can make her mark in. Would it really mean much to your 2yo?

We have all moved very far away from my old family home. When DS was very small we happened to be driving past my old village on the way to somewhere else. So we took a detour and I showed him my old family home and the various places I used to play. He was not interested one bit 😂

I'd hate it. I consider my childhood home my house, even as a 45 year old who moved out a looooong time ago. It's probably wrong but i'd feel the same as you.

Ask your dad if you can take your DD into that room. Explain you're not going to give her free rein to rampage through the house.

Things have changed in your dad's life and home since his remarriage. It's not your bedroom anymore. If your dad's wife is using it as a giant closet, it's probably been changed around, it's not childproof and she doesn't want your child in there. She's allowed to have private areas and your child shouldn't be wandering without you and without permission.

Agree with this, it seems very insensitive of his new wife not to appreciate this is your childhood home.

My mother would never allow my kids to just go in any room in her house whenever they choose. My grandmother however would have happily done so. Its different for different people. I don’t allow my grandchildren to roam wherever they like unsupervised but this is mainly because they are young and I don’t want them to harm themselves or break something, im not sure how i will be when they are older.

I assumed she would be with the 2 year old to show him

I am all for privacy and any level of CFery is routed out immediately but this seems a bit extreme. My children wander round my parents house and gardens as they want and it's a lot of space, even has spooky secret passages connecting different areas of the house. They do stay there though, so it wouldn't occur for there to be any areas that are off limits really. Have you stayed there since you left?

Maybe she values her privacy and doesn’t want you and your child wandering round what is now her home amongst her belongings.
Whenever my mum visits and mops upstairs to the loo I always tell her to not go in my bedroom and disturb my elderly cat who often sleeps there. Next thing I know she’s in my bedroom asking ooh what’s this, I haven’t seen this before etc.
Pisses me right off.

I dislike it when visiting children think they can go exploring upstairs uninvited.
It’s her home now and I would have thought your old bedroom would have been repurposed by now as you are a grown woman with a child of your own.

I don’t really get this as my parents moved from my childhood home when I was 28 so they could live closer to me and their grandchildren. After I left home the room had the same curtains but totally different appearance. It wasn’t “mine” anymore. That doesn’t mean the memories aren’t still mine. So from the childhood room angle, I find that odd. However, I think it’s the freedom you have in a parent’s home is what makes you feel less of a guest and maybe being shut out is more of a reminder your mum isn’t there. There will be a difference and your dad’s wife isn’t wrong in wanting privacy in her own home, but that wouldn’t have been the case if your mum was there. I think that’s why it stings a bit. Unfortunately I don’t think it’s something you can change.

Everyone is different though aren't they? They react different. There's no wrong or right to how we feel about a childhood home. My partner just sold his childhood home and had a really hard time of it, saying goodbye to the walls that kept his relatives safe for over 90 years.

I think it's this part that people noticed -
It also feels a bit odd because when we visit the in-laws and other family, DD has free reign and goes everywhere (we try to keep her out of the hosts' bedrooms as a courtesy).

Toddlers shouldn't be wandering around houses without permission from the people who actually live there. In this instance, permission wasn't given. The end.

It is the childhood home, it's not just a home. A little understanding perhaps?

Your 2 year will neither know nor care that was your bedroom- presumably if you’re old enough to have a 2 year old it was many years ago. Time to grow up and respect your DF and DSM privacy.

The thing is rooms don't hold memories people do. The op can hold her memories perfectly fine without going into her and dad and his wifes private space. Nobody is stopping her from remembering anything. My parents moved house so my kids have never seen my childhood bedroom, I can tell them about my childhood perfectly well without showing them the ceiling I used to stare at. I don't think my kids even know which bedroom at mils house dh used to have, they've never asked. They are just spare rooms now, really not that interesting to anyone.

Dungeon?

I don't think you're unreasonable to find this hard. My dad's new g/f threw out most of my mums stuff, even things like her posh crockery set. She didn't even live there yet but they were engaged. While can be pleased for your dad to have found someone it is still hard when childhood places change and rules that you grew up by are different.

I don't think it would've harmed to let you take you toddler up to your old childhood room. It is a strange thing to have not allowed and it's not welcoming.

Why is your 2yo off exploring rooms in every house she visits? What on earth makes you think this is appropriate?

Do you think you might be projecting?

It’s their house now. Respect their privacy.

I'm wondering how your father's wife having boundaries about which bedrooms your child is allowed in would be "interfering with her development"? Do you think your childhood bedroom holds magical developmental powers that your child would fail to thrive without??

Als interesting that you feel entitled to "march [your] daughter upstairs any time she wanted" in someone else's home, regardless of their feelings or boundaries.

Tbh you come across as rude, overbearing and a bit unhinged. If my d behaved like you she'd be put straight it's not happening and you are not marching around my home doing what you want.
As for 'interferring with the development of your child' is a reach and you really believe that you possibly have bigger problems if that would be a problem.
Also what has being Western Australian got to do with anything ?🤔