AIBU to feel hurt my friend refused a small favour?

Where would the box be stored when not used? Who would take delivery of the leaflets? What happens if some go missing?

If it's only once a month, is it really such a big deal for you to drive and meet him halfway?

I wouldn't want a random box on my drive for several days and nor would I want my parents having a teenager on their drive who could be violent!

100% this

she is protecting her elderly parents

That is reassuring but perhaps the friend and her parents don't understand this.

You still haven’t really explained why you’re annoyed at your friend when it’s not even her house you’re talking about.

I probably wouldn’t want a plastic box of stuff sitting on my drive either really. It would become my responsibility and if it gets stolen or damaged I’d feel like I had to get involved. It’s also ugly, and would likely look like an open invitation for thieves to come on to my property and have a look. And your son is prone to violence. Just because it’s only in your home, that doesn’t mean your friends will want him turning up at their elderly parents’ homes, potentially being agitated if the box had been nicked or whatever.

Also, it’s not even necessary. Your son could use a trolley like a postie would. He just chooses not to because for some reason he thinks it’s embarrassing. That’s very much his problem and not one you should be enlisting your friends and their parents to solve for him.

That’s your interpretation of it. But your very good friend said no, so maybe reflect on that.

You sound... charming.

If this is your idea of a large favour, I sincerely hope you never ask anything of anyone ever. As for the rest of your deluded rant, words fail me.

Yes. Wheeled suitcase. or meeting him on route. or a trailer for a bike. Any of these.

This can't be the first time people have had to deliver these for the employer... what other options did they have?

It was simply too big an ask from your friend. It's clear from the comments on here that it was a much bigger ask than you actually realised when you asked your friend. It involves much more than it seems on the surface.. all the issues about what if something happens to the mags. What if the deliveries increase etc. There's no end date either.

She wasn't in a position to grant this anyway. Only her parents were a

It's not even a favour for you, its for your son and then not even for him ,but ultimately making life easier for his employer who should be the one to make the job feasible.

Edited as I've just seen your update OP.... but the overall theme of my post was to say forgive you friend and find another way to make it work.

I can see why they wouldn’t be keen - they’d have to have a big box on their property, accessed by a potentially violent man. That’s not fair to ask. Also, who’s responsible if it’s pinched, or damaged while left on their property.

He’d be better with a trolley that he can pull along to make it feasible.

I’d agree with this too

@Livelovelaughfuckoff how you describe it is exactly how my elderly mum would be. Her elderly neighbours are similar.

Its a very impractical solution @Redman73 and almost certainly the stored magazines will get damaged, stolen etc, and if the company find out he is storing them outside in a tub, that would likely be instant job loss.

Get him a trolly, point out the bloody postman uses a trolley where necessary and its simply a tool for a job. It needn't be a tartan grandma shopping trolly (almost certainly wouldn't be big enough anyway), more likely plain coloured. The people he's working for may even supply one if asked.

Like this https://www.bigdug.co.uk/bigdug-folding-camping-festival-trolleys/v/BDFFT160L_1/

Is this a reverse?
Who wants a plastic box in their driveway, being serviced by a potentially violent man?

To be fair on them, I’d be inclined to say no as well because I wouldn’t want to be responsible for someone else’s valuables on my property, especially as it’s something he needs for work.

Him finding something embarrassing is unfortunately not a good enough excuse, if there are other solutions then he needs to accept them.

Her likely elderly parents likely refused having their property being used as a leaflet depot for somebody who they percieve to be violent.

Your friend cant be held responsible for that.

If the getting out of the house part and walking in fresh air is therapeutic for him maybe don’t offer solutions. If he needs to walk more and spend longer that’s perhaps a good thing. You’ve got him the job. If he’s able to let him manage how he organises it eg choosing trolley or walking more.

I think if you had asked me to use my drive way I would absolutely say yes, but if you had asked me if it could be put on my elderly mum’s driveway I would be a lot more hesitant about it because your ds can be violent, and I wouldn’t want my mum put into a potentially frightening situation.

I really feel for you though because I can imagine your hurt and frustration, and you’re just trying to help your ds as much as possible. I know he thinks a trolley would be embarrassing but maybe he will come round to the idea once he realises how inconvenient it is doing it without? Anyway, I wish him the best of luck and I’m sorry you feel so let down by your friend. Perhaps talk to her and tell her how you feel, and maybe she will explain her reasoning behind saying no.

I think it was rude to them not asking them direct but going to your friend to be the messager.

If they are close enough to help, they should be close enough to ask directly.

It’s not a small favour, for all the reasons pointed out by PP. It might (possibly!) not have been unreasonable to ask on the offchance, but for you to be hurt when they said no is v v v v v v v unreasonable.

My drive is for driving my car over in order to park, I wouldn’t want a big plastic box sat on it either.

Several issues here - it's not your friend's driveway, for starters. The parents mightn't want their daughter's friend's son (effectively a random) having use of it, or your friend might not have wanted to ask them - you don't know what her relationship with them is like.

Another point is that a box of magazines is going to look untidy, like they've permanently left their recycling out for collection.

Finally, it involves someone coming and going on their property at will.

I wouldn't agree to it, personally, even directly from a friend, let alone a relative's friend's relative.

Don't take it personally, OP. Hopefully you can find another solution such as the trolley suggested upthread.

On the face of it not unreasonable but in reality how big would this box be, how long would it be there for, would they be responsible for receiving the leaflets and stocking the box? What if some went missing?

There's some really nasty OTT replies on this thread. Even if you disagee with the OP there's no call for it.

I hope your DS's job helps to stabilise his mental health OP.