AIBU to feel hurt my friend refused a small favour?

Well, it’s that or not doing the job, surely?

He needs to speak to his employer. Nobody could carry that much at once. He needs to be working alongside a van driver who can restock him and others or they need to give him some wheely trolley type thing.

Yes the friend is not helpful. I mean I would have probably said yeah sure.

But ultimately it's his employer responsibility to supply him with equipment required to perform the task. Presumably they are a legit marketing or delivery company?

He won't have access to the house.

Sorry but you were a bit cheeky to ask in my opinion.
As others have said, get him a shopping trolley or one of those big trolleys that families take out on days out, or you should be topping him up if that isn’t feasible.

Well poor diddums. He is an adult. This is his job. Was it you who suggested he could just use someone else’s property for storage? And you think they’d be fine with a violent man on their property.

He needs to use a trolley. Too bad if he is embarrassed. Tell him to grow up.

When do you next see her parents? Ask them in person.

A violent man, whose decline in mental health is ‘triggered’ by work related issues, wants to use elderly people’s property for work related purposes? Ehh, no.

I wouldn’t have boxes stored on my drive for a few days each month. Something else to be responsible for and something to attract people onto their property to see if there was anything good in it to steal. No.

Your son could get a trolley, like those used for festivals and camping and people who do craft markets. Stop making his job someone else’s problem.

I don’t think it’s fair to be off with friend about this it’s entirely outside her control.
Her parents may have said no. They may not want an ugly plastic box on their garden, may be worried about a large violent man coming in their property, worried about what may happen if leaflets get wet or taken eg worry your son may be banging on door shouting at them. Worried re slippery slope - few days is vague.
She may have thought I’m not asking my parents it will worry them or possibly put them at risk. But that’s her choice.

If this was me, I’d be thinking it could open a can of worms that I didnt want whether myself or my parents to be involved in. It’s not their problem to solve and you’re not cheeky for asking but you are a CF to be annoyed they said no. They don’t want involved and that’s their prerogative.

Oh lord I missed that. Yeah. NO. Sorry OP I wouldn’t agree that either. This would cause my parents huge anxiety and stress and im not agreeing to them being put in harms way

I wouldn't have asked my mum about this because even the suggestion would stress her out! Even without the 'potentially violent' factor

How old are your friend's parents? Do they know your son well?

This would really stress my parents out, I wouldn’t even ask them if you had asked me. My own drive, yes fine, but my parents are getting on a bit and this would turn into a huge fuss.

If you ask anyone for a favour, you need to give them plenty of chance to refuse without offence being taken. This favour isn't that small. Not everyone wants a large plastic box in their driveway, and in this case they may be concerned about a young man who can be violent coming to their home. Maybe your friend guessed that her parents wouldn't like it and refused without asking them.

’No is a complete answer’. For whatever reason they don’t want a plastic box in their drive.
I know some older people can get a little precious about their property or indeed feel stressed at having ‘ownership’ that they will feel they need to monitor or that there might be people come and going near they house.
My parents are the kindest souls but would have probably said no to this… if they did say yes it would be out of a sense of duty and somewhat under duress. My mum would have stressed about it all day and they just don’t need that.

I'm assuming her she's roughly your age, which makes her parents elderly.

There is no way I'd agree to allowing a young autistic person who even his mother admits is 'violent and getting worse' to go anywhere near my parents property on a regular basis.

You say you are 'hurt'. I'd be utterly gobsmacked as your friend that you even thought this was a reasonable thing to expect me to agree to on my parents behalf. My parents don't want this level of responsibility and anxiety.

This, and also potentially the worry that if something happens to the leaflets (ie they get stolen, soaked, whatever) that they may feel responsible or somehow invovled.

I would say “no” too, and we have significant challenges as a family with an adult dependent. Why would her parents want plastic boxes full of free magazines stored on their front driveway??? Surely you can see it would be ugly, inconvenient and add risk to their lives. As pp have suggested get him a trolley, or store them in the boot of your car and drop them for him.

This! Plus what if he needs the toilet en route?! She’s likely concerned it’s the start of a slippery slope that she wants to keep her parents far away from.

Yes, this crossed my mind too.

If the box was stolen or mistakenly taken away as recycling, she may worry about how might react.

I think a trolley is a good idea OP.

I would let him but may feel a little wary about letting a violent male onto my property. She may feel the same.

Also this, what if something happened to the box and he is triggered and then her parents will have to deal with it

you don’t know what else is going on with her parents.

you asked, perfectly reasonable.
she said no, also perfectly reasonable.

get him a trolley or similar

Yes, and for dealing with the upset this is likely to cause in a young adult the OP says has poor MH and is violent.