AIBU to feel hurt my friend refused a small favour?

She might not have wanted to make them uncomfortable by asking anything. Maybe if it were her property she'd say yes but it's not.

The zoo is quite happy to be angry at her friend and to start a thread to bitch behind her back, when her friend hasn’t done anything wrong. She just doesn’t want her parent’s dragged into this situation.

Yes, but you’ve been upfront with your friend about his violence, and this will have almost certainly factored into her decision, or that of her parents.

So you can predict when he will have a meltdown?

You shouldn’t have asked this anyway. Why do you think this is someone else’s problem to solve. It’s your kid. It’s his job. He can carry all the stock he needs in a festival trolley. But because he is embarrassed, you want to make it someone else’s responsibility? Again, tell him to grow up but I’m concerned that you need to think he is totally reasonable to refuse to use a trolley and your friend is actually the one in the wrong for say he can’t use her parents drive. Do you genuinely think your friend is wrong rather than your son?

If @Redman73 can drop them off then she can take them to him on his route.

Though you’ve just reminded me of a kid who did a paper round in the village we used to live in, with his mother driving a few feet behind his bike.

You might not think he's a risk but they probably do.

I think it’s a very big ask actually. Most people wouldn’t want to agreed to having that on their property for a few days a month. And that’s without getting into whether your son may be violent or not. You need to just accept the response you have been given and move on.

Why do you assume they’re going to take delivery? Wouldn’t DS just drop off a batch in OP’s car?

No need to be so viscious, wind your neck in.

Well if he thinks using a trolley is embarrassing he’ll have to just carry the magazines or whatever they are then!
You weren’t unreasonable to ask a question but you’re very unreasonable to be cross when they’ve said no!

Do you get how big a favour you're asking? And it's not even using your friend's place, you want to use her elderly parents' driveway for storage for days every month. They'd have to take delivery of 800 magazines. That's going to take up a lot of space. What if the delivery person dumps them in a spot that blocks the drive? Are you going to go over and move them? What if the bins open in bad weather and the contents destroyed or blown around littering their neighbourhood? Or they get stolen?

They're also unsightly. I don't think you thought this through before asking such a big favour as free storage and getting upset that you were told no.

And what if your son got triggered and got violent there?

Your friend's parents don't owe you anything and that's kind of how you're coming across.

do not do this. Unacceptable to put them in this position. I doubt your friend even told them the backstory. She probably weighed up the situation and decided to not take the risk.

Omg no 😂. They’ve hired him to do the delivery. They’re not paying 2 people for it when part of the job he applied for is to move those items. If he can’t drive or lives far away from the route then that’s his problem to solve. These are usually jobs kids do before school, and they don’t get a second employee during a van behind them 😂

Oh gosh my inlaws would find this ask to be incredibly stressful. I probably wouldn't even ask as it would just be a whole thing. I think you are hugely minimising this favour and could consider apologising for putting her in a difficult situation (asking her about something at her parents' home is a bit odd anyway)

I'm so sorry your son is struggling and I hope this helps him, but you need to brainstorm other options before using someone's driveway for storage. Too many ways this could go wrong.

Even ignoring the potentially violent part lots of people are house proud and wouldn’t want a plastic box on front garden and drive. On drive they may worry about hitting it with car. On lawn it will ruin grass. If it’s a nicer box like a keter it may encourage burglars onto property thinking there’s garden equipment in it etc.
I appreciate you want the best for him and are worried about him but it’s not fair to transfer burden onto someone else.

By having a box in the garden it makes them responsible for it, if it blows away or gets stolen etc etc, get him a trolley if he isn't able to carry his magazines, her parents might not want a stranger hanging about the house or whatever it isn't your friends job to "help out" like this.

You shouldn't blame her for what is most likely her parents' decision. It put her in am awkward spot having to ask them, given what she knows.

I wouldn't want an violent man who is getting worse visiting my property once a month op.

This isn't a small favour.

Please don’t take this as a reflection of your friendship, it isn’t your friends favour to give.

A wheeled suitcase might work for this?

His embarrassment or your inconvenience of having to drive to refill his deliveries are not the responsibility of your friend or her parents. You are definitely a CF.

I wouldn't have asked my dad, who has similar open and accessible space, because he wouldn't want to say no to me and I wouldn't want a violent 19yo man leaving their property and forcing responsibility on my dad because his own mum can't be bothered driving for a few minutes.

I can totally see why they said no. A lot of people wouldn't agree to store things for other people on their driveway, after all they have no idea what they may be agreeing to. Also, you admit yourself that your DS is violent. They are (presumably) two older people who would probably rather not risk meeting your potentially violent 19-year-old DS on their own driveway. I know you feel hurt and I understand why, but I honestly think you have to let this go. They're just being prudent and careful and that's understandable.

I wouldnt want my parents to be involved. He has other options. Which he finds embarrasing- thats on him to work through